


Ready for Love

by Anonymous



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: Exes, F/F, Fashion Designer Jennie, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Slow Burn, Title Subject to Change, a couple of beards, actress jisoo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:42:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 72,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27620168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Jisoo’s heart stopped when she turned to the woman in the strapless black gown standing before her. Drinking in the familiar chubby cheeks, cat-like eyes, and lips gathered in a nervous pout, Jisoo’s eyes darted back and forth all over Jennie’s face. She never thought she’d see that face again.“Congratulations,” Jennie said, at a loss of what to say to the woman whose heart she once called her own. Whose heart she broke.---A lifetime ago, Jisoo and Jennie met in a coffeeshop. Now, they meet at an awards show afterparty, bringing back memories and feelings they'd long since buried.
Relationships: Jennie Kim/Kim Jisoo
Comments: 145
Kudos: 317
Collections: Anonymous





	1. Firsts

**Author's Note:**

> So basically I heard the unreleased demo of Ready for Love, and Jisoo's part was so wistful I couldn't stop thinking about it and now here we are.

As soon as the car door closed, insulating the two of them against the clangor of the press and fans, Jisoo leaned her head back and closed her eyes, a small, relieved sigh falling past her lips at the brief respite.

“You okay?” Her companion’s deep voice was laced with concern, and Jisoo opened one eye just enough to peek sideways at him. Jinyoung looked sharp as always in his light blue suit that matched the small lace details of her layered white dress.

Smiling, Jisoo nodded. She was lucky he was here with her. “Yeah. It’s just nice to have a little bit of quiet after such a hectic night.”

Jinyoung’s eyes crinkled as he settled back into his seat. “You know the night’s not over, right?” He reached over and tapped the trophy resting in Jisoo’s lap. “You’re all but expected to go to the after party now that you won.”

“All the more reason to appreciate the small break in all the craziness.”

Humming in agreement, Jinyoung followed Jisoo’s lead and also leaned back with his eyes closed. As the car pulled away from the curb, the incessant flashing of the cameras faded away to be replaced by the calming march of streetlamps shining through the tinted windows for just a second before they fell behind, only to be replaced by the next one.

“Thank you for coming with me tonight,” Jisoo whispered after a few minutes. Jinyoung said nothing, but his hand found hers in the middle of the backseat and gave it a short squeeze. He always knew when she needed comforting, or just to know that she had someone in her corner. They’d been this way for a few years, unquestioningly supportive of each other ever since they met on set of a miniseries. The first major acting gig she’d ever landed, actually.

All too soon, the car slowed down, now in line to let them out at the afterparty. Even from her spot in the back seat, Jisoo could make out the crowd of press gathered at the doorway. When they finally pulled up, she gripped the trophy in her hand as if it was a lifeline. The words “Best Actress in a Serial Drama” were emblazoned on the bottom, followed by her name. Her first major award, and while she was so proud of herself for finally achieving it, she also wanted nothing more than to just go home and curl up on her sofa with a warm cup of tea. But Jinyoung was already out of the car and walking around to her side to help her out.

The door opened, and the wall of sound that hit her reminded Jisoo to get back into her public persona. She took Jinyoung’s proffered hand and stepped out onto the pavement, letting her dress flutter to the ground in a way she was sure the cameras captured. She plastered on a grateful smile and let herself be led into the venue by Jinyoung.

Really, her life wasn’t bad. She was doing what she’d wanted to do her whole life, acting for a living. She just wished she didn’t have to act _all_ the time.

* * *

“Remind me why we had to come to this again?” Jennie asked, unable to hide the boredom in her voice as she lifted her champagne to her lips, restlessly tapping her other hand on the table.

Her fiancé chuckled and nudged her shoulder. “Because you’re the VP of a brand that dressed half the people in here?”

“Oh, that.” Jennie waved off the words dismissively. “Kai, you’re better with people than me. Can’t you just at least convince the DJ to play better music?”

“Ah, yes, because nothing’s more endearing than telling someone they suck at their job.” Kai ducked the half-hearted swat Jennie sent his way. He laughed and backed away, his hands in the pockets of his all-black suit. “How about I refresh our drinks instead? That’ll make it more bearable.”

Jennie nodded, approving of his logic. “Something stronger than champagne, preferably.”

“Aye-aye, Captain.”

While she waited, Jennie amused herself with checking her email on her phone. It was her own fault for getting here early. None of her friends were here yet, and she was stuck trying to look _just_ unapproachable enough that the not-quite-yet stars and idols wouldn’t try to talk to her when she was alone. She just didn’t have the energy for them tonight. She’d been working almost nonstop for the last month dealing with the logistics of fittings and custom orders and coordinating with stylists and jewelers. She just couldn’t wait to go home and _sleep_ after this.

A buzz of excitement floated through the hall and was enough for Jennie to pull her nose out of her phone. She looked toward the front of the hall, catching a quick glimpse of a woman who made her heart thud loudly in her chest. Kim Jisoo, the breakout actress of the night, whose face graced every magazine cover in Korea, stood at the entrance, a brilliant smile visible even from where Jennie sat as she bowed in greeting to the crowd of well-wishers welcoming her and her date into the afterparty.

Jennie downed the remainder of her champagne, cursing internally at her stupidity. _Of course, she’d be here. She was a shoo-in to win. What did you expect?_ Despite the painful twinge in her throat, Jennie found herself looking over to Jisoo again. Her hair was black now, dark and long. It hung in gentle waves down to the small of her back, a striking contrast to her multi-layered white chiffon gown. She was too far away to see the details, but she caught a hint of sky-blue detailing around the bodice. _She looks like a snowdrop._ How appropriate.

Her eyes slid over to Jinyoung, who complemented the actress perfectly. He greeted people as well but seemed perfectly content to stand behind Jisoo while she accepted the congratulations on her win. He appeared to be the ideal date. They moved fluidly through the crowd as a unit, and Jennie’s eyes couldn’t help but focus on the palpable familiarity between the two, the way his hand hovered behind her back or her free hand frequently found his to tug him along with her.

“Alright, I got you a martini.” Kai’s voice jolted Jennie out of her vigil just as a wide-topped glass with an olive floating in it was placed in front of her. “I had them make it a double for you.”

“Bless you,” Jennie murmured, immediately taking a generous gulp of the bitter drink.

“I still don’t know how you drink that when it’s like 90% straight vodka,” Kai said. Jennie looked over to see her fiancé taking a sip of his own whiskey sour.

“That’s kind of the point.” Another gulp, and she felt brave enough to search Jisoo out again. She’d traded the trophy she’d been obligated to bring with her for a flute of champagne, and she was laughing at something Jinyoung said. “Looks like the A-listers have started to arrive.”

Kai followed her gaze, recognition registering on his face. “Wow, Kim Jisoo really does look like that in real life.”

Rolling her eyes, Jennie couldn’t even bring herself to pretend to chastise him for commenting on another woman’s looks. They weren’t the jealous kind of couple. They couldn’t be, not when they’d known each other since they were in grade school. “Yeah, she’s beautiful,” she agreed, burying her face in her martini once again.

She’d need another drink soon if she was going to be able to act at all normal tonight.

* * *

_Four Years Ago_

_Jennie huffed in annoyance as she adjusted the strap of her satchel on her shoulder, leaving her apartment building almost as soon as she’d arrived home. “When the hell is the construction going to be done?” she grumbled under breath, feeling a migraine coming on from the incessant hammering and drilling going on upstairs._

_It really was terrible timing on the building owner’s part, starting a floor-by-floor upgrade of all the apartments just in time for Jennie’s mid-term exams. They weren’t even to her floor yet, but the construction noises above her apartment made studying there an impossibility. She didn’t even want to think about how she’d basically be homeless for the two weeks they’ll be updating her apartment as well. She had to get through midterms first._

_But now she had to find a new place to study! This was her last year of grad school—she couldn’t afford to start failing now._

_After powerwalking for a few blocks to blow off some steam, she started to regret not bringing along a jacket. Her light gray sweater went well with her outfit, but it was more of a summer cardigan than a useful garment to ward off the autumn chill. She cast around for any place she could find to warm up and hopefully get some work done, and her eyes settled on a bright café on the corner. It looked like it wasn’t too busy, which was also a plus in Jennie’s book._

_Decision made, Jennie quickly crossed the street and let herself into the coffeeshop. A small bell rang when she opened the door, and she was greeted with a cozy café lined with books and various baubles and lanterns. There was a little nook in the corner with a big coffee table situated in front of what looked to be a very comfortable leather couch layered with blankets. She felt like she’d just walked into someone’s home. It was lovely._

_Jennie felt her anxiety recede as she settled herself onto the couch in the corner and retrieved her books from her bag. She’d just opened her marketing text when a pair of small feet appeared in her peripheral vision._

_“Good afternoon, miss, and welcome to Creature Comforts Café,” a pleasant, husky voice said. Jennie looked up at the sound to find a girl probably around her age, and she was, for lack of a better word, stunning. She had long, dark red hair tied back into a low ponytail, with some shorter layers framing a face with sparkling espresso-brown eyes and heart-shaped lips. She wore a thin, black choker necklace, a baby pink cardigan and black skirt underneath her brown “Creature Comforts” apron. A kind smile turned those lips upward as she continued. “Can I get you anything to drink?”_

_Finding her voice took a second, but Jennie cleared her throat and tried to appear less dumbstruck to the waitress. “Hi, thank you. Could I get a hazelnut latte?”_

_“Absolutely. I’ll be back soon with your drink.” The waitress smiled again and nodded emphatically, as if it were her main purpose in life to deliver coffee. She’d left before Jennie even had a chance to thank her._

Man, if all their staff is that attractive, it’s no wonder they can stay in business in this district _, she thought to herself. Shaking her head, she took out her notebook and found where she left off in her study guide. As she wrote down key points on international marketing strategies from the textbook, a steaming cup appeared on the table next to it._

_“That looks complicated,” the waitress said, gesturing to the many graphs on the glossy pages._

_Jennie looked back up at the girl, finding her nametag now that she was able to take more of her in. Jisoo. It fit her. “Yeah, it’s not the most thrilling subject, but it might be the most useful one this semester for me.”_

_“What are you in school for?” Jisoo’s voice was low, her eyes wide and curious._

_Jennie found she didn’t mind the interruption as much as she probably should have. Something propelled her to answer. “I’m in my last year of business school. Once I finish my MBA, I’ll join my mother’s company for work.”_

_“Wow, fancy,” Jisoo observed, her eyebrows raised. “That’s impressive that you already have your life planned out like that.”_

_Shrugging, Jennie dropped her pen and reached for the latte. The ceramic warmed her hands, relaxing her much in the same way the café seemed to soothe her mind. “It’s my mom’s plan, really. I just never really had a reason to deviate from it.” A happy sigh escaped her lips as she took a sip. The latte was delicious. “What about you?”_

_A faint blush bloomed across Jisoo’s face, as she looked down at her feet. “I’m trying to become an actress,” she confessed. “This job is great for me because my boss lets me only work in the afternoons so I can audition in the mornings.”_

_Jennie could tell the girl felt self-conscious at having what people may consider a frivolous dream. But Jennie found herself envious of Jisoo, knowing what she wanted so clearly and being brave enough to pursue it. “Well, with your face, it’s only a matter of time.” The words were out of her mouth before she realized, and Jennie felt her own face growing hot as Jisoo’s eyes widened in surprise. Jennie coughed, burying her face in her latte. “I mean, I hope you make it.”_

_A soft laugh answered her, and Jennie looked back up to see Jisoo’s blush had intensified. “Well, I’ll let you get back to your studying…?” She trailed off, the question evident in her voice._

_“Jennie.”_

_Jisoo’s eyes crinkled when she smiled this time. “I’ll let you get back to your studying, Jennie. I’m Jisoo.”_

_Nodding, Jennie gestured to the coffee cup. “Nice to meet you, Jisoo, and thank you for the coffee.”_

_Jisoo left her to her books, attending to the other patrons in the café. Jennie stayed for a few hours, making it all the way through her marketing chapters, and every once in a while, Jisoo would make her way over and check on her. Not that Jennie was particularly hungry, she found herself ordering a sandwich so that Jisoo wouldn’t stop. When she’d finally decided it was safe to go back to her apartment—the construction workers had to have wrapped up for the day by now—Jennie packed her bag and approached the register to pay her check._

_“Did you get your work done?” Jisoo asked as she rung up her order on the register._

_Smiling, Jennie said, “Yes, way more than I expected to. I think I found my new favorite study spot.”_

_Jisoo’s eyes lit up like she was four years old. “I guess I’ll be seeing you around here more often then?”_

_“I guess so.”_

_Jisoo grinned happily and handed her the receipt and her change. With a wave goodbye, Jennie made her way out into the chilly evening. Looking down at the flimsy paper, she saw a little note at the bottom._

Come again soon! -Jisoo

_A little smiley face accompanied the note. Jennie didn’t notice she was smiling the whole way home._

* * *

The party was in full swing, something Jisoo was grateful for because that meant she was no longer the sole focus. The champagne relaxed her enough that she let herself enjoy seeing some of her friends. For instance, Rosé, an impossibly tiny woman with an impossibly big voice, practically knocked her down in her excitement when she found Jisoo.

“Jisoo-yah!” came the high-pitched squeal from the blonde as she hugged the life out of Jisoo.

Jinyoung, ever the perfect date, had grabbed Jisoo’s champagne out of her hand just in time so that Jisoo didn’t end up with a wet, pink stain down the front of her dress. “It’s good to see you, too, Chaeyoung,” Jisoo laughed.

“You were so _amazing_ in the show, Jisoo,” Rosé gushed as soon as she pulled back from the embrace. “I just _knew_ you were going to win tonight.”

For the first time that night, Jisoo felt genuinely appreciative of the praise. The petite idol-turned-singer-songwriter practically vibrated with happiness for her, and it was infectious. Giddiness bubbled up in Jisoo, as well. “I just can’t believe it actually happened.”

“Believe it, babe. You’re the real thing.” Rosé wrapped an arm around Jisoo’s neck and guided her to the bar. “Time to celebrate.”

Glancing back at Jinyoung, who just stood there holding two half-drunk glasses of champagne and laughing at how easily their friend could pretend he didn’t exist, Jisoo shrugged in his direction. Shaking his head, he winked at her, all but telling her to have a little fun tonight and that he’d be okay. “You know, I already _had_ a drink, Chaeng.”

“Psh, getting drunk on champagne is hard and you just end up with a terrible hangover,” Rosé said, a devilish look entering her eye when they reached the counter. “And I need to get you drunk enough to finally agree to sing with me on my next record.”

Rolling her eyes, Jisoo requested a glass of white wine from the bartender before turning back to her friend. “For the last time, Chaeng, I’m not a singer.”

“Tell that to your voice, you secret pop star you,” Rosé retorted. She requested a cosmopolitan, never taking her eyes off the bartender’s hands while he made it. “Your voice is so low and warm and delicious, and I want it on my record, damn it.”

Jisoo accepted her wine, taking a sip to hide the blush that threatened to come out. “You weren’t even supposed to _hear_ me singing.”

The bartender gently handed Rosé the glass, filled to the brim with the ruby red cocktail. With a nod of thanks, Rosé paused to carefully sip some of her drink so that it was less likely to spill over. “Not sure what you expected, princess. Your shower isn’t soundproof.”

The pair made their way back to Jinyoung, who was chatting with Jisoo’s costar from the series, Jung Hae-in. Hae-in got called away almost as soon as they arrived, so he settled for a smile and soft squeeze of Jisoo’s arm in greeting on his path back to his table.

“Nothing for me? I’m hurt,” Jinyoung quipped as they took their seats.

“You realize you have _two_ glasses of champagne in front of you, right?” Jisoo deadpanned.

Jinyoung dramatically knocked back one of the glasses. “Now I only have one,” he said, wiping the corner of his mouth with his middle finger. Jisoo laughed, once again grateful he accompanied her tonight.

“Has anyone seen Lisa?” Rosé stood up to get a better view. “Oh, there she is!” She tugged Jisoo up with her, and the elder girl once again sent a rueful look to her date. It appeared she was doomed to keep leaving Jinyoung alone for the majority of the night.

She let herself be swept across the dance floor to the opposite side of the hall, where she could see the tall performer turned model talking animatedly to a shorter woman dressed in all black. Lisa turned when she heard Rosé calling out for her, and her face lit up. Soon Jisoo found herself in a three-way hug, lightly crushed between the former bandmates.

“Jisoooo, you fuckin’ star.” Lisa’s greeting sounded almost musical with the way she drew out each word. Clearly, she was ahead of the actress in celebrating tonight, but also, that was just how Lisa talked sometimes, tipsy or not.

“Hi, Lisa,” Jisoo giggled into the mess of hair her face was currently buried in. “You look amazing.” When the three finally separated, Jisoo eyed her friend up and down, the shimmering golden gown catching the light and making Lisa look like she was glowing softly. “That dress is phenomenal.”

“Thank you!” Lisa tugged the woman she was talking to before Rosé and Jisoo interrupted and brought her into the fold. “This lady designed it. Have you met Jennie Kim?”

Jisoo’s heart stopped when she turned to the woman in the strapless black gown standing before her. Drinking in the familiar chubby cheeks, cat-like eyes, and lips gathered in a nervous pout, Jisoo’s eyes darted back and forth all over Jennie’s face. She never thought she’d see that face again. “Um,” was all she could manage to say.

“I didn’t design it, you dummy,” Jennie was saying, wresting her arm out of Lisa’s grasp. “I just helped my mom out with some of the details.” Her eyes finally locked with Jisoo’s, and suddenly Jisoo’s heart started back up again at double-speed. “Nice to see you again, Jisoo.”

“You two know each other?” Rosé asked as she munched on a piece of calamari she stole from Lisa’s plate.

Clearing her throat, Jisoo nodded. It took all of her willpower to pull her gaze away from Jennie and look at Lisa and Rosé, who were eyeing the two curiously. “Yes, we, um, met a few years ago. Before I booked Landfall.”

_Landfall_. Her first real acting job, when her life changed in so many ways.

“I’d study at her coffee shop when I was still in school,” Jennie supplied quietly.

“What a small world,” Lisa chirped. “I’m surprised you didn’t tell me this sooner, Jichu. I wear JK designs all the time.”

Jisoo raised her shoulders, her eyebrows following suit. “I…didn’t know.”

“We didn’t really keep in touch after I graduated,” Jennie said, once again filling in the gaps. Jisoo was grateful, unable as she was to string together a coherent sentence at the time.

“Shame.” Lisa picked her drink up from the table and took a swig. “We all could have been friends way earlier if you had.”

Jennie’s eyes slid back to meet Jisoo’s at Lisa’s statement, silently agreeing that things could have been wildly different if they kept in touch.

* * *

_“You’re back!” Jisoo declared, coming out from behind the counter and wiping her hands on her apron. She paid no mind to the fact that she’d been hoping the brunette would return for the last few days. She just enjoyed having patrons her own age was all._

_Jennie offered a shy smile as she stood in the doorway of the café, and Jisoo quickly ushered her over to the same couch as before. “I told you I’d be back,” the business student said quietly._

_“How’d your test go?” Jisoo leaned against the arm of the couch while Jennie unpacked her things._

_Shrugging out of her pea coat, Jennie glanced up at Jisoo. “I think it went well, but I won’t know for a week or two.”_

_“When’s your next one?” In the back of her mind, Jisoo realized she should be taking the other girl’s order and getting back to work, but the café was always slow at this time of day._

_“Day after tomorrow, finance.” Jennie scrunched up her face, her cheeks puffing out as she did so. She looked so_ cute _when she did that, Jisoo had to stop herself from reaching out and poking one of her cheeks._

_Laughing, Jisoo stood up and kept her hands occupied with adjusting her apron. “Not a big fan of math?”_

_Jennie shook her head, her dark brown bangs swaying in her eyes as she did. “But I’m stuck with it, because turns out fashion involves a lot of geometry.”_

_“Fashion?”_

_“My mom’s company is in fashion designing.”_

_Their conversation was interrupted by a new customer coming in, the open door allowing a burst of cool air and sending a shiver through Jennie. “Oh, I guess that’s my cue to go back to work,” Jisoo sighed. “Hazelnut latte for you?”_

* * *

_“Have you acted in anything yet?”_

_Jisoo turned around from wiping down a table when she heard the question. Jennie was twisted so that she could look over the back of the couch, mug in hand as it rested on the cushion. Her eyes followed Jisoo as she walked over to the counter to deposit the rag she’d been using, reminding the waitress of a housecat watching a new person enter its domain._

_“Just some short movies in college,” Jisoo answered, heading back to the couch. “Nothing real yet.”_

_“How long have you been trying?” Jennie asked once she was close enough that she didn’t have to call across the store. Jisoo could now see her textbook laying abandoned next to her on the sofa._

_Placing her hands on the small of her back, Jisoo looked up at the ceiling while she thought about it. “I started auditioning pretty much as soon as I graduated college, so about a year?”_

_“So that makes you 24?”_

_Jisoo nodded, looking down at her feet, scuffing the toe of one shoe against the linoleum floor. “I promised my parents that if I didn’t start booking paying acting jobs by the time I turn 25, I’d give it up and take over their shop.” She raised her gaze back up to Jennie once again, trying not to show how scared she was she wasn’t going to make that deadline. “But I’ve still got a year to make it happen, and I will.”_

_Jennie’s eyes searched her face for something, and upon apparently finding it, she smiled and nodded her head encouragingly. “I have no doubt about it.”_

_Her smile was cute, Jisoo decided. It made her eyes crinkle, and Jisoo felt so warm inside at having that childlike expression directed toward her. She felt her own lips curl upward in response, and it was the call of her boss that made her turn away. She offered a quick apology and went to ring up another customer, wishing she could have spent just a few more minutes in the corner with the girl on the couch._

* * *

As soon as the dancing started, Lisa all but dragged Rosé onto the dance floor with her. The poor singer had no chance at denying Lisa, especially not after three drinks. Jennie watched Jisoo laugh at her friends’ antics, taking the few seconds as a chance to really _look_ at Jisoo without restraint.

She really was still the most beautiful woman in the room, Jennie noted. But she seemed quieter, more reserved than Jennie remembered. When Jisoo turned back to face her and realized they were now left to fend for themselves, Jennie watched her eyes widen slightly and her pink-tinged lips parted in an inaudible gasp.

“Hi,” Jennie whispered, knowing the din of the party almost certainly drowned out her voice.

Still, Jisoo seemed to hear her. She tucked a stray curl behind her ear and responded with an equally soft, “Hi.”

“Congratulations,” Jennie said, at a loss of what to say to the woman whose heart she once called her own. Whose heart she broke.

Jisoo gave her a faint smile, a quick bow of her head to acknowledge the accolade. “You…you look good.”

Everything about Jisoo screamed how uncomfortable she felt. Uncomfortable because of _Jennie_. It made her ache inside, knowing she was why Jisoo looked like she wanted to bolt out of the ballroom on what should be her night. She wanted nothing more than to grab the other woman’s hand and act as a tether for her to calm down. But she lost the right to do that years ago.

“Thanks,” Jennie finally said. “I ended up joining my mom’s company after all.”

The skin around Jisoo’s eyes tightened ever so slightly, but she smoothed her features almost instantly. “It sounds like you’ve done really well for yourself.” Her eyes flickered down to the ring on Jennie’s left hand and then right back up. Still, her face betrayed nothing.

She really _had_ grown as an actress. There was a time when Jennie could tell exactly what Jisoo was thinking just by a subtle quirk of her eyebrow or a particular shimmer in her eyes. Now, Kim Jisoo had perfected the showbusiness poker face.

“There you are!” Jennie internally flinched at the sound of her fiancé’s voice. Kai came up from behind her and casually looped one arm around her waist. “You left me to fend for myself with the newbies. Quite rude, if I say so myself.” He finished off his drink with a flourish, only then realizing he’d walked into the middle of something. Jennie could feel the whiskey catch in his throat when he found himself face to face with _the_ Kim Jisoo. “My apologies, I didn’t mean to interrupt. I’m Kim Jong-in, but everyone calls me Kai.” He removed his hand from around Jennie and offered it to Jisoo. “I’m a big fan. Congratulations on tonight.”

Jisoo smiled graciously, her features softening as she shook Kai’s hand. “Thank you. It’s very nice to meet you Kai.” Seeing the way Kai’s hand quickly found its way back to Jennie’s waist while she accepted a glass of champagne from one of the circulating servers, Jisoo continued. “So I take it you’re Jennie’s fiancé?”

“Ah, yes,” Kai said, giving Jennie a playful nudge to bring her back into the conversation. “Since we were kids, it feels like. But don’t mind me, I’m just here to support Jen.”

“Since you were kids?” Jisoo’s eyebrows disappeared into her hairline, genuine surprise written all over her face as she looked directly at Jennie.

Jennie blushed and bought herself time by sipping her martini. “His family’s in public relations, and they’ve worked closely with my family ever since we were little. My parents thought we’d be a suitable match.”

Jisoo’s eyes flashed, registering how Jennie purposely left out the exact time frame of their betrothal. “That’s nice,” she said. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to find the ladies’ room.”

Jennie recognized the look that flitted across Jisoo’s face before she had a chance to hide it. She was upset. Making up a similarly flimsy excuse, Jennie left Kai to chat with the rest of the people at their table, depositing her now empty martini glass on one of the passing servers’ trays.

She followed the flowing white dress through the periphery of the dance hall until it disappeared into a bathroom. Jennie didn’t hesitate to follow her in.

Standing there, arms braced against the marble countertop, eyes squeezed shut, Jisoo looked just like the one Jennie remembered. She rarely let anyone see her upset, and when she did, she would just scrunch up her face and tense up her whole body as if she could physically keep the emotions inside. A cursory glance around the bathroom told Jennie they were alone, something she was thankful for. Jisoo would hate for anyone to witness her like this.

“Jisoo,” she said, finally letting a little bit of the anguish she’d been feeling all night seep into her voice.

Jisoo shook her head furiously, her onyx curls lifting in the air from the speed. “No,” she said, struggling to control her breathing. Jennie could only watch as Jisoo’s cheeks grew red from the effort it took to contain herself.

“Jisoo, could you just look at me?”

“Were you engaged when we met?” Jisoo’s low voice shook as she asked the question. Jennie didn’t answer right away, prompting Jisoo to open her eyes at last, locking onto Jennie’s reflection in the mirror.

At a loss for words, Jennie opened her mouth and closed it a couple of times before she let her shoulders sag. “Not officially, no.”

“And unofficially?”

Sighing, Jennie closed her eyes, shielding them from the no doubt accusatory gaze from the other woman. “Unofficially, I was informed sometime in high school that my marriage would be arranged for me, and that it would most likely be to Kai.”

The bitter laugh that followed sounded foreign coming from Jisoo. Bitterness was never an emotion Jennie expected to see in Jisoo. She said nothing else, just smoothed out her makeup, squared her shoulders, and made for the exit to the bathroom. When she drew level to Jennie, the latter couldn’t help but notice their stark contrast in the mirror. Jennie, with her hair slicked back, in her form-fitting midnight black gown, next to Jisoo, looking almost ethereal with her loose waves and white, chiffon dress. She was close enough now to see the light blue lace pattern at her waist.

“There was a time where I thought we’d get married,” Jisoo breathed, every syllable out of her mouth adding more and more to the weight in Jennie’s chest. “At least now I know where you stood on the subject even back then.”

She swept out the door with that, leaving Jennie standing in the middle of the bathroom, trying not to throw up.

Jisoo had it so _completely_ wrong. But what good would there be in telling her now?

Taking a seat on the small stool beside the door, Jennie leaned her head against the wall and closed her eyes, suddenly exhausted. _This was so not the way I saw tonight going_.


	2. Business Decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the love for the first chapter!! I always say things are gonna be a really slow burn but I know I tend to get impatient so fear not, there will be spiciness on the way.

Jisoo made it until they were halfway home before she felt she was going to lose her battle with her tears. She blindly reached across the seat to grip Jinyoung’s hand as tightly as she could, keeping her eyes trained on the passing lights outside her window, praying she could make it inside her house so that the driver wouldn’t see.

She felt the weight of Jinyoung’s other hand on top of their clasped ones. He knew she needed him to stay with her tonight.

Finally, _finally_ they made it into Jisoo’s secluded house. The door just closed behind the pair when Jisoo turned into Jinyoung and all but crumpled to the floor, the tears ultimately winning and spilling over.

Jinyoung sat on the floor of the entryway, letting Jisoo collapse into his lap as she openly sobbed for the first time in three years. “It was _her_ , Jin,” she gasped into his shirt, not caring she was getting makeup on the crisp white fabric. “I-I wasn’t _ready_.”

She felt warm hands rubbing her back, trying to coax her down, but she still couldn’t believe it. Not only did she see Jennie Kim for the first time since the night of her graduation from business school, but to find out that she’d been all but engaged the first time they met. _She was never mine to begin with_. The thought kept going around and around in her head as she cried in Jinyoung’s arms, clutching his lapel for dear life. _Why would she ever make me think she was?_

* * *

_The soft tinkling of the doorbell made Jisoo look up from her spot on the counter, where she’d been hunched over her notepad, doodling animals in the margins to go with the “Creature Comforts” logo. The now-familiar fringe overlying cat-eyes that focused solely on Jisoo made the waitress break into a wide grin._

_“You’re here earlier than usual,” Jisoo said as she straightened._

_Jennie came to the counter, slipping onto a stool so she could watch Jisoo expertly prepare her latte. “My last class let out early, and my apartment is still uninhabitable during the day.” She caught the look of sympathy from the older girl as she worked. It hadn’t taken long for Jisoo to find out Jennie came to the café that first night because of the construction noise. Frankly, Jisoo was grateful to the building owner for making her last two weeks at work infinitely more interesting. “Plus, I could use some company.”_

_Steaming the milk while the espresso brewed, Jisoo smirked at Jennie. “Oh, really? Who were you thinking of?”_

_Jennie stuck her tongue out at Jisoo, who chuckled to herself. “Don’t be mean. I just finished midterms and don’t have the brainpower left to be clever.”_

_“Aw, I’m sorry.” Jisoo deftly poured the steamed milk over the espresso and delivered the mug to Jennie alongside a pastry. “Forgive me?”_

_“Are you bribing me with free food?”_

_“As long as it also counts as your congrats-on-finishing-midterms present, then yes,” Jisoo said._

_Jennie fixed Jisoo with a flat stare, unimpressed. “It’s a pastry, not a present.”_

_“Well, since that’s all I have at my disposal currently, it’ll have to do.” Jisoo stared right back, her arms braced on the counter as if she was ready for a fight._

_“What time do you finish work?”_ _Jennie asked suddenly._

_Jisoo’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “Eight, why?”_

_“Do you have any auditions tomorrow morning?”_

_“Why?”_

_“I’ll tell you once you answer.” Jennie’s bangs fluttered along with her eyelashes as she blinked expectantly at the waitress._

_Eventually, Jisoo shook her head. “No, no auditions tomorrow.”_

_“Great! Then you’re coming out with me,” Jennie declared, clapping her hands excitedly._

_“What’s that?” Jisoo straightened. “Would I like to go out with you to celebrate finishing your midterms? Why, thank you for asking so thoughtfully, Jennie.”_

_“So is that a yes?”_

_Rolling her eyes, Jisoo heaved a long, put-upon sigh. “I suppose so.”_

_“God, actresses are so dramatic.” Jennie’s dry tone had Jisoo chucking her dish rag in her direction. Jennie dodged, of course, and gestured to the crumpled cloth on the floor as if it proved her very point. She picked up her mug and made her way over to her favorite couch in the corner, happily sipping on her latte as she curled up with a magazine instead of a textbook for once._

_Jisoo’s eyes lingered on the figure in the corner for a few seconds longer before she left the counter to retrieve the dish rag. The rest of the café was still empty, and likely would remain so for at least another hour. Surely, no one would mind if she joined Jennie for an early afternoon read._

_Grabbing the book she kept behind the counter for slow days, she plodded over to the couch and settled herself on the opposite end from Jennie. The younger girl looked up when she felt the cushions shift. Jisoo said nothing, just put one finger to her lips like they were in a library and opened her book. She snuck another look at Jennie though, just in time to see a warm smile bloom on the student’s face. Jisoo couldn’t help but smile back._

* * *

“Thank you,” Jisoo murmured blearily as Jinyoung handed her coffee in the biggest mug she owned. She remained cocooned in a fuzzy blanket on her couch, her hands poking out just enough to receive the warm beverage. The smell of the coffee was already helping her headache recede. Just slightly.

Jinyoung sat down on the other end of the couch, sipping his own steaming cup. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I’ve been run over by a truck a couple dozen times.” Jisoo glowered into her mug as if the brown liquid inside was to blame.

“A couple drinks followed by a couple hours crying will do that to you.”

Jisoo moved her glare to Jinyoung. “I thought we agreed we weren’t going to bring the crying thing up.”

Jinyoung quirked an eyebrow at her. “We agreed on no such thing.”

“In my head, we did.” Jisoo blew on her coffee, timidly taking a sip.

“Did you at least drink the water bottle I left by your bed last night?”

“Yes, Dad.” Jisoo was actually quite grateful to Jinyoung for that, having woken up three hours after falling asleep exhausted and cried out, mouth dry and head pounding. She saw the bottle sitting just next to her phone and guzzled it down in under ten seconds. “Did you sleep okay?”

Nodding, Jinyoung put down his cup. “Yeah, the guest room was comfortable as always. Now when are you going to talk about it?”

“About what?”

“About _Jennie_.”

The name send another throb ringing through Jisoo’s head. “What’s there to talk about?” She took another sip of her coffee, wishing there was a way it could go directly into her veins.

“Maybe the fact that you haven’t seen her since she broke your heart, and the first time you do, you have a breakdown in your foyer?”

Jisoo winced at the all-too-accurate description of last night’s events. She only hoped no one else was privy to them. She wasn’t sure how good she was at hiding how close she was to tears by the end of the night, even if she did get Jinyoung to rally and leave the party almost immediately after she left the bathroom. He was the only reason her award trophy made it home with them last night. She would have left it on the table for someone else to take, for all she’d cared about it. Now it sat on her fireplace mantle, her first ever acting award.

“She’s engaged,” she said after a moment.

Jinyoung shook his head. “There’s no way that’s the only reason you reacted like that.”

“Her marriage was arranged by her parents since high school.” She took another bracing sip of her coffee. “She knew she was going to be formally engaged to someone of her parents’ choosing when she met me.”

Recognition dawned on Jinyoung’s face. “Oh.”

“Everything we had, god it hurt so much when it ended,” Jisoo continued, now that she didn’t feel like her soul was trying to leave her body at the mere memory. “But I’d figured, you know, that’s to be expected. Her parents didn’t approve. It _sucked_ but I understood it.” Her voice grew shaky as last night’s revelations washed over her again. “But for Jennie to have _known_ she was going to be engaged when we started…I feel like everything we did is tainted now. I was her illicit affair or her last act of rebellion against her parents or something.” She sniffed, resting her chin on the rim of her coffee cup. “Why would she let me dream of forever with her when I clearly didn’t figure into her life past the summer?”

Jinyoung shifted closer to her on the couch, nudging her in the shin. “I don’t like you talking about yourself like you’re unimportant.”

Miserable eyes looked up at the actor. “But what if I was? What if the most important person to me at the time didn’t care about me as much as I thought she did?”

Silence followed. Jinyoung didn’t have an answer for that. After a few beats of silence, he pulled her spare blanket over him and reached for the remote. “Hermit day on the couch?”

“With junk food and soju?” Jisoo asked hopefully, still gripping her coffee.

Jinyoung chuckled. “When it’s not 8 a.m., yes we will add soju in there. Stick with your coffee for now, and we’ll order in chicken skewers.”

* * *

Jennie scowled at the papers on her desk. The pounding behind her eyes only got worse the longer she tried to decipher the numbers on the pages in front of her. With a frustrated growl, she shoved the documents to the side and buried her face in her hands, wishing she could somehow reach into her head and make her brain stop hurting.

“Ouch, you look like hell,” Lisa’s voice came from the doorway. Jennie looked up to see her friend—her beautiful, _wonderful_ friend—holding two exceptionally large cups of coffee.

“Lalisa Manoban, have I told you lately how much I love you?” Jennie asked, reaching for the coffee even though Lisa was still all the way across the room.

Laughing, Lisa obliged, crossing the carpeted floor to deposit the to-go cup in Jennie’s eager hands. “I take it the hangover hasn’t faded yet?”

Jennie shook her head as she took a grateful sip. “I’m never drinking again.”

“I gotta say, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you drink that much,” Lisa observed. “Was everything okay?”

 _Yeah, everything was peachy. I broke Jisoo’s heart all over again and drank one too many martinis to drown out the guilt_. “Just stressed, I guess.” She shrugged noncommittally.

“Work stuff?”

 _Sure_. “Irene dropped out of the endorsement deal yesterday,” Jennie sighed. “Her manager double booked her, and she’ll be out on tour for the majority of our projected shooting dates. Now we have to find a new brand ambassador before the fashion week circuit gets started.”

Taking a seat in one of the chairs Jennie had in front of her desk, Lisa sipped her coffee thoughtfully. “Hm, that _is_ stressful. Any ideas for who’s gonna replace her?”

“I have a few names, but I’ve got a meeting with my mother in a little while. I’m sure she’ll have already made her own plans.” Jennie leaned back in her swivel chair, running her hands through her unwashed hair as she tied it up in an effort to look more presentable for the CEO. “I pretty much just compile my own lists as a thought exercise. They’re never useful.”

“Good practice for when you eventually take over for your mom though, right?”

Jennie forced a wry smile, opening one eye to peek at the model. “Ah, yes, for that eventuality that’ll happen 15-20 years from now, I’ll be _so_ ready.”

A knock at her office door halted whatever undoubtedly encouraging thing Lisa was going to say next. “Ms. Kim?” Her mother’s assistant’s head poked out from behind the door. “Your mother is ready for you now.”

* * *

Jennie blinked several times at her mother, who clearly waited for her answer. “I’m sorry, I think I’m a little tired from last night,” she apologized. “What did you say?”

Her mother took a deep breath, clearly trying—unsuccessfully—to hide her exasperation at her daughter. Rather than chide Jennie, she simply repeated herself, “Kim Jisoo.”

“You want Kim Jisoo to be the new JK ambassador,” Jennie said, still having trouble comprehending the words coming out of her mother’s mouth.

“You’re awfully sluggish this morning, Jennie. Yes, with the attention she’ll get for winning last night, it’s the perfect time to get her on board. Her style also fits extremely will with our designs.” She ducked her head to try to catch Jennie’s eye. “Is there any particular reason you don’t like the idea of Jisoo representing us?”

 _So you really don’t remember the girl you wouldn’t let into my graduation party_. “Um, no,” Jennie relented. “She’d be a great fit for our brand.”

“Fantastic. I’ve already reached out to her manager, who seemed very excited by the idea.” Jennie tried to look as enthused by the idea of meeting with Jisoo again while her mother watches as her mother clearly was. “I figured it is also the time for you to take the lead on an international project like this, so I will be at the initial meeting if she chooses to join us, but you will be the main point of contact.”

The young VP felt her smile freeze on her face, somehow remembering to thank her mother for the opportunity. Not only was her ex-girlfriend likely going to be their next brand ambassador, but now she would be the point-person for her endorsements. Jennie tensed every muscle in her body to keep her hands from reaching for her temples, her splitting headache back in full force.

This was going to get _very_ complicated.

* * *

Jisoo didn’t even notice how quickly the time passed, preoccupied as she was with binge-watching American shows with Jinyoung. It was some time in the early afternoon when she got a text from her manager asking for her to call him immediately.

“Did I do something stupid last night?” Jisoo nudged Jinyoung with her toe to get his attention and showed him her phone.

“You mean aside from ruin my suit with your makeup?” Jinyoung ignored the way Jisoo glared at him and read the texts. “No, I don’t know what he’s gonna talk to you about. You were a class act all night pre-meltdown.”

Jisoo grumbled, scooting further down on the couch. “You could have left out the pre-meltdown part.”

“Oh, no, I really couldn’t have.” Jinyoung stood up to restock their supply of popcorn. “Your manager has great timing though. I was just about to break out the soju.”

“Bring it anyways,” Jisoo said, clicking on her manager’s number to dial it. “I’m sure I’ll need some even more after whatever this is about.”

“Jisoo!” Duri’s excited voice greeted her after the first ring. He’d clearly been sitting by the phone. “I have great news for you!”

Sitting back up, Jisoo responded, “What is it?” She knew not to get too riled up over announcements like this. All too often it ended up just being a _potential_ plan for new projects, and as with most things in the entertainment industry, about 90% of those projects never see the light of day.

“ _The_ Kim Minji herself has personally invited you to become the new brand ambassador for JK Designs,” Duri said. Jisoo’s hand tightened around the phone. “She thinks you’d be perfect, and you absolutely should capitalize on your momentum from winning last night.”

“Oh? And what did you tell her?” Jisoo asked, dread pooling in the pit of her stomach.

“Of course, I told her you’d do it!” Duri sounded aghast at idea Jisoo wouldn’t have guessed his answer. “You have a few months before your next project starts shooting, and it’s an ideal way to promote your brand by promoting hers in the meantime.”

Her first instinct was to decline the project outright, but her mind drew a blank when she searched for plausible excuses. JK Designs was a rapidly growing fashion brand, built from the ground up by Kim Minji with the explicit intent of competing internationally. They were already well known throughout most of Southeast Asia, and they were offering the publicity for Jisoo on a platter. It would help cement her as an actress of significance on top of her SBS Drama Award. _Damn it_.

Defeated, Jisoo dropped her head into her free hand. “Okay, I’ll do it.” Her voice was by now well trained in false enthusiasm. “When do we meet with them?”

“First thing next week,” Duri said. “I’ll text you the details. Enjoy the rest of your weekend off.”

“So, what’s up?” Jinyoung asked as he came back to the living room with a fresh bowl of popcorn, a bottle of soju, and two small glasses.

Jisoo grabbed for the soju as soon as he came within reach and poured them both a serving first. After knocking back the sweet liquor, Jisoo answered him. “I am apparently going to be the new face of JK Designs.”

Jinyoung stared at her for a few seconds before he burst out laughing. Jisoo threw some popcorn at him. “Okay, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It’s just…someone up there must _really_ hate you.”

Grumbling, Jisoo reassembled her nest of blankets around her. “Just pour the soju.”

* * *

_“I can’t believe I let you talk me into wearing this,” Jisoo said as she and Jennie stood outside Jennie’s building waiting for their taxi. Jisoo tugged on the tight, glittery black shorts, straining for more coverage._

_Jennie laughed, looking perfectly comfortable in her black and silver crop top and high-waisted skirt. “I can’t believe you were planning to come out tonight in the same pink cardigan you wear to work.”_

_“Only because you insisted that we couldn’t waste time going to my place.” Jisoo gave up on the shorts and focused more on keeping herself warm in the October chill. “I don’t even live that far away.”_

_“I don’t know what you’re complaining about. You look hot.” Jennie’s hand ghosted over the back of Jisoo’s shorts, so softly Jisoo might have imagined it._

_Blushing, Jisoo looked down at her equally sparkly black top. The sweetheart neckline showed more than Jisoo was used to, and the way she was crossing her arms to warm herself up was accentuating more than she intended. She let her arms fall to her side, dancing a little in place to keep the cold at bay. Where was that damn taxi? “You already got a head start on the alcohol tonight, didn’t you?” she asked dryly._

_“I may have sampled some soju while you were getting ready,” Jennie admitted. “You know you look ridiculous hopping up and down in those heels.”_

_“Well I’m cold because_ somebody _refused to let us bring our jackets.”_

_Faster than Jisoo could register, Jennie pulled her in by the waist and curled into her arm. “Who needs a jacket when we can just cuddle for warmth?”_

_She had a point. Jisoo suddenly felt decidedly warmer than before, in no small part due to the furnaces burning in her cheeks. Gulping, Jisoo looked down the road, finally seeing the lights of their cab drawing near._

* * *

“You’re rather fidgety this morning,” Minji noted as she sipped her coffee, eyeing her daughter across the conference table.

Jennie stilled her fingers, which were up until then folding small corners on every single page in front of her. “Too much coffee,” she said. Her mother seemed to buy the excuse thankfully, content to pass the time until their next meeting arrived in silence.

Their next meeting that was Kim Jisoo and her manager.

Jennie moved her hands into her lap, interlocking her fingers to keep herself from nervously tapping them on her legs. She had no idea what she was going to do if Jisoo made it known they had history in front of her mother. Would she let Jennie just brush them off as casual acquaintances like she did at the SBS afterparty? Or worse, would her mother notice something between them even if they said nothing? Minji Kim was known for her impeccable intuition. Jennie just hoped she’d left that intuition at home today.

Luckily—or not—Jennie was forestalled from any further panicking by the knock on the door that signaled the subject of her anxiety had arrived. She and her mother stood just in time for Jisoo to appear in the doorway, her manager Duri trailing in behind her.

“Welcome, welcome,” Minji greeted as she and Jennie bowed. Jisoo responded in kind, her low voice warming Jennie up and settling her nerves. Whatever was going to unfold would do so with or without Jennie’s involvement, but she couldn’t deny how nice it was to see Jisoo again.

Once the four of them settled into their chairs, Jennie’s eyes searched Jisoo’s face for any sign of discomfort. Jisoo’s hair was up in a loose bun, her shorter layers framing her smooth features which betrayed no emotion whatsoever. Jennie thought about asking her how to master that poker face, but she doubted the other woman would oblige her.

“This is my daughter, Jennie, our Vice President.” Minji gestured to her right, prompting Jennie to offer a tight smile and slight nod of the head. “She’ll be your main contact during our business together.”

“We’ve met.” Jisoo’s words made Jennie’s breath catch in her throat. She wasn’t really going to say anything. She couldn’t. “At the SBS awards after-party.” Jisoo’s lips turned upward as she bowed her head. “It’s nice to see you again, Jennie.”

Jennie finally found her voice. “Nice to see you, too. I look forward to working with you.”

“Wonderful!” Minji said. “We have quite a campaign planned out for you, Jisoo. We want to take advantage of your momentum from your win last week.” Jennie was grateful to her mom right then. When she got down to business, there was no room to think of anything else, certainly not of a certain doe-eyed actress sitting across from her. She just needed to stay focused on the business of this deal. She’d be able to make it through these next few months if she could just keep everything professional.

Right?

* * *

“Are you going to be okay with this?” Jennie asked softly as she closed the door to her office behind Jisoo. Now that the logistics had been worked out with her mother and Jisoo’s manager, it fell to the two of them to establish her style within the brand.

She thought she heard a sigh from the actress before a muted, “I’m Jisoo. I’m okay.”

It sounded almost like a mantra, one Jennie was not privy to. But it seemed to offer some sort of comfort, so Jennie accepted it at face value and moved to her desk. “I put together a look book for you of things I think you’d like plus some outfits that might be outside your usual style but I think you’d pull off.”

Wordlessly, Jisoo sat down and started flipping through the binder. She’d made it to the third page before she chuckled dryly. “You still _really_ like black, I see.”

“Hey, I branch out every now and then,” Jennie retorted, seeing the twinkle in Jisoo’s eyes when she looked up at the designer. “But I put in some brighter colors for you, some reds, some yellows, blues.”

“Isn’t this a winter ad campaign?”

Jennie hoped her confusion wasn’t all over her face, disoriented as she was by Jisoo’s playful tone. “Hey, winter looks can have red in them, and blues if they’re the right shade.”

“And the yellows?” Jisoo raised her eyebrows expectantly, and Jennie felt her face heating up.

“Maybe I just thought you’d look good in yellow,” she muttered. Then, to save face, she added, “And so you’d have an idea of our spring and summer looks if you end up extending your contract with us.”

“Mmm,” Jisoo hummed amusedly. She turned back to the look book, a slender finger reaching out to touch one of the glossy photos. “Did you design these?”

Jennie walked to look over Jisoo’s shoulder. “Not that one, but I did help with the blouse on the next page.”

Jisoo turned the page accordingly, unaware of or unbothered by Jennie’s proximity. Jennie watched her hand fall on the picture of the black, flowy, off-shoulder top. “It’s pretty,” she commented, her voice soft.

The faint scent of flowers wafter over Jennie, and she recognized it as the perfume she’d given Jisoo for her birthday. She could still picture the wide-eyed wonder in Jisoo’s eyes when she opened the box on the couch at Creature Comforts to find a beautiful, crystalline bottle inside. She’d tried not to accept it, saying it was too expensive, but Jennie wouldn’t take it back. So Jisoo gave her a long, tight hug instead.

“Earth to Jennie.” Jisoo’s voice cut through the memory, and Jennie looked over to see Jisoo’s face turned toward her, their noses almost touching.

Eyes widening, Jennie almost backed away out of reflex. But she didn’t want Jisoo to think she was bothered by how close they were. “Sorry, what were you saying?”

“I, um—” Jisoo stopped short as if she, too, had just realized how close Jennie was. Her eyes darted back and forth between Jennie’s, dropping for a split second to the younger woman’s mouth before she caught herself. Flustered, Jisoo looked down at her phone. “I have another meeting to get to.” She made to stand up, and Jennie automatically straightened. “I guess I’ll see you at the first fitting?” Jennie nodded, but Jisoo was already closing the door behind her.

She turned back to her desk as soon as Jisoo left to see the picture of her and Kai on her desk. It was their engagement announcement photo, and it showed up on her desk one morning after it was official. It was a cute picture: Jennie laughing at something Kai said while they walked hand in hand along a bridge. She’d told herself when they got engaged that she could be okay with Kai as her husband. He was kind, and he was her friend. But she knew he didn’t love her, just like the way he knew she didn’t love him.

Jennie didn’t find excuses to invade his space or insist he stay in bed so she could curl up next to him. She never felt the urge to touch him the way she remembered so vividly wanting to touch the woman who just left her office.

She’d been doing just fine with the idea of marrying her friend for the good of the family. But now…she grabbed the picture and put it in her top drawer. She needed to stop mentally replaying the moment Jisoo’s eyes flashed to her lips before she would feel comfortable putting the engagement photo back on display.

* * *

_Jennie watched as Jisoo obliged her and took two shots of vodka to “catch up” as soon as they reached the club. “I think I’m going to like seeing you out of the café and that little pink cardigan,” she said, raising her voice as she leaned close to Jisoo’s ear to be heard over the music._

_Jisoo quirked an eyebrow, her red-painted lips suddenly coming into focus as she took a sip of her vodka soda through a straw. “You act as if I’ve never had a drink before, Jennie Kim. Don’t forget who’s the unnie here.”_

_Grinning, Jennie also picked up her fresh drink from the bartender. “Well, we’ve only known each other for a short while, and the only Jisoo I’ve encountered is the wholesome, buttoned-up Kim Jisoo.”_

_“I mean, it_ has _been a while,” Jisoo admitted, her cheeks tinted pink. “But only because I’ve been so busy with work. I had my fun in college.”_

 _“Well, we’re going to have fun tonight.” Jennie raised her glass. “I can’t wait to see the_ un _buttoned Jisoo.” She watched as Jisoo clinked glasses with her, a bright smile breaking out onto her unnie’s face at the sound of the music changing._

_“I’m obsessed with this song,” Jisoo said, contentedly sipping her drink as she swayed to the music. Jennie couldn’t help the giggle that bubbled out of her. Jisoo looked happy as a clam just rocking from side to side at the bar when there was a dance floor not two meters from them._

_Finishing her rum and coke, Jennie urged Jisoo to do the same. “Come on, we’re dancing.”_

_With the lights dimmed and the crush of bodies around them, Jennie found herself pressed against Jisoo more often than not. She placed her hands on either side of Jisoo’s hips to keep herself from knocking the other girl over, but she found herself pulling the waitress closer as Jisoo started swaying her hips in time to the music. Jennie rolled her body with the beat, her hands drifting a little higher on Jisoo’s waist as she did so, brushing that sliver of skin between the top of her shorts and the bottom of her shirt. Jisoo didn’t seem to mind, her auburn hair falling into her face as she smiled at Jennie._

_The alcohol made Jennie’s muscles feel looser, and the heat from everyone on the dance floor was almost equally as intoxicating. But nothing was as addictive as Jisoo when she got lost in her dancing. Jennie watched with fascination as Jisoo bit her lip, her eyes to the floor and her arms to the sky, swirling her hips in an almost sinful manner. Jennie couldn’t help the way her hands seemed to drag up and down Jisoo’s body—Jisoo just kept_ moving _!—nor could she deny the way her fingers ached to dig into the bare flesh at her waist and just_ pull. 

_As they took a break to refill their drinks, Jennie tried to ignore the way Jisoo’s chest heaved as she caught her breath. “Can we get two glasses of water and two vodka shots, please?” Jennie asked as soon as they hit the bar. She wanted the night to continue, sure, but she didn’t want to_ die _. As soon as the bartender started preparing the beverages, Jennie turned back to her companion. “Who’d have thought little Jichu would have such moves on the dance floor?”_

_“Jichu?” Jisoo repeated as she downed the water, a bead of liquid escaping her mouth and making its way down her neck._

_“Cute, right?” Jennie said, shaking her head to focus on their conversation. “Although Jichu was nowhere to be seen out there, just saying.”_

_A laugh burst out of the elder girl, her cheeks flushed both from the combination of alcohol and dancing and from Jennie’s odd praise. “I’m glad you made me come out with you tonight, Jennie.” The bartender offered them their shots, which they took with little fanfare. Jisoo’s hand found hers as soon as they finished, wordlessly dragging the student back to the crowd of people dancing._

_This time, Jisoo’s hands were the ones that wandered. Her grin was infectious, and Jennie leaned into the touches. Everywhere her small hands landed, even just the slightest pressure on Jennie’s hips or waist or back, made Jennie feel lightheaded. Their faces were close, their noses bumping occasionally as they moved to the music. No matter how much they danced, Jennie couldn’t look away from the intensely dark eyes staring back at her._

* * *

Leaning against the wall of the elevator, Jisoo closed her eyes and inhaled deeply two, three, four times. Four measured breaths to calm down the fluttering in her chest that started the second she walked into the building that morning.

Why the hell did she agree to this insane idea again?

The elevator doors opened to the lobby, and Jisoo slid on her oversized sunglasses as she slipped out of the building and into the waiting car. _Right_ , she internally sighed as soon as the car door closed. _I can’t just tell them I won’t work with that designer because I’m still not over their VP._

A week ago, Jisoo would have insisted she’d put the unpleasantness of three years ago behind her, that she would be okay if she somehow ran into Jennie again. But that was before she ended up crying for hours on the night she won her first award for acting. Before she saw Jennie today, before she realized the ache in her chest was still there. 

Jennie looked like she really had flourished under her mother’s tutelage. VP of an international fashion brand only three years out of school was no easy feat, even if her mother was the CEO. Seeing Jennie in a business suit, her hair swept back in a low ponytail and face schooled to stillness, was such a far cry from the Jennie she knew that it was easier than she thought to pretend this was someone else altogether.

It was a mistake to think that way, because it made Jisoo relax. And then she was alone with her, and Jennie was hovering over her shoulder, her cheek not even two centimeters from the side of Jisoo’s face. She felt the other woman’s presence acutely and sped through the rest of the look book to distract herself, but Jennie still stayed there. When she didn’t respond and Jisoo turned to look at her, she’d appeared to be lost in thought. It was a look Jisoo had seen a thousand times before, usually when she caught Jennie staring at _her_. Then her lips were close, too close.

Jisoo looked down at her phone, seeing the text from Jinyoung to make sure she was okay. The text which caused her phone to buzz and woke her up enough to get her out of Jennie’s office, and for which she needed to remember to thank Jinyoung for sending at that exact time. She pressed the call button on her screen and raised the phone to her ear.

Jinyoung picked up almost immediately. “Hey.”

“Don’t you have a job?” Jisoo asked, noting the time. “You know, one that pays you to do things other than be at my constant beck and call?”

“I do, but I’m done with my scenes until the afternoon,” Jinyoung said. “Don’t worry, I still have plenty of time to worry about my little Jichu.”

The nickname made her smile sadly. Somehow, even though Jennie hadn’t stuck around, the nickname she’d given her did. “Will you keep sending me texts at the precise moment when I need them?”

“Of course, that’s my superpower.”

“Okay.” Jisoo lowered her voice, cognizant of the driver in front of her. “She’s my point-person at the company. You’re right, someone up there hates me.”

“Are you going to be alright seeing her that much?”

Shrugging even though she knew Jinyoung couldn’t see her, she answered with a simple, “I’m Jisoo, I’m okay.”

Jinyoung was quiet on the other end of the line, and Jisoo knew he was remembering the time shortly after they’d met, when he found her rubbing away tear stains in her trailer. He’d been her love interest in her first real acting role, so he’d seen her while everything with Jennie was still raw and painful. She’d said, “I’m okay” so often it became a running joke between them. Jinyoung would ask, then immediately stop himself and say, “Of course, you’re okay. You’re Jisoo.” Somewhere along the way, she started saying that, too. It became something akin to a verbal hug she gave herself whenever things got too overwhelming.

“I know you’re Jisoo, and I know you’re okay,” Jinyoung finally said, “but will you tell me if you’re not?”

Jisoo thought back to the moment in Jennie’s office, when she felt like she was about to be enveloped by Jennie’s essence. When she just wanted Jennie to just rest her cheek against her shoulder and wrap her hands around Jisoo’s arm to bring her even closer. Jisoo wasn’t sure she’d be able to tell when she wasn’t okay anymore until it was too late, but she promised Jinyoung nonetheless.

* * *

_All too soon, the music transitioned from anthemic club beats to eighties and nineties throwbacks, the unofficial first signal of “It’s 2 a.m., go home now before you make another bad decision.” Both Jennie and Jisoo were covered in a healthy sheen of sweat as they shared the cab back to Jennie’s apartment._

_Now removed from the energizing vibe of the club, Jennie’s eyes started drooping, and by the end of the 10-minute cab ride, she’d curled into Jisoo’s side and rested her head on her shoulder. Jisoo almost felt guilty coaxing the younger girl awake once they reached her building, lightly squeezing one of her cheeks to rouse her._

_“Stay the night,” Jennie yawned as she opened the door to her apartment._

_Jisoo shook her head, closing the door behind them. “I don’t mind, I only live 15 minutes away.”_

_“No,” Jennie insisted, blinking herself into a more awake state. “It’s the middle of the night, and you’re tired. Just stay with me. I’ll lend you some pajamas.”_

_Jennie wouldn’t take no for an answer, and the poor girl looked like she was going to keel over from her exhaustion. Jisoo sighed and relented, if only to get Jennie to go to sleep sooner. Jennie dug out an oversized t-shirt and some shorts for Jisoo before she went to the bathroom to get ready for bed. She even made sure Jisoo could use one of her extra toothbrushes._

_Ten minutes later, Jisoo found herself settling into the bed next to Jennie. The younger girl instantly turned on her side and curled her arm around Jisoo’s. “Maybe I should call you Jendeukie,” she murmured sleepily._

_Jennie was already fast asleep next to her. Jisoo’s eyes lingered for a few more moments, tracing the way Jennie’s face relaxed and her mouth opened just a little bit when she slept. Jisoo felt herself smiling at her bedmate as she turned off the lamp. The room grew dark, but Jisoo fell asleep imagining Jennie’s bright eyes never leaving hers while they danced._


	3. Fitting In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy these weekly updates while they last, bc I'm quickly catching up to where I'm still writing lol

“So are you going to come sing on my record or not?” Rosé asked, popping a dumpling into her mouth and ignoring the way Jisoo rolled her eyes.

The low hum of the late-lunch crowd kept their conversation relatively private, but Jisoo kept her voice down anyway. “Once again, Chaeyoung, I am not a singer.”

“Face it, sweetheart.” Rosé pointed her chopsticks at her friend. “You have a great voice, and you are wasting all your potential with this whole acting thing.”

Laughing, Jisoo batted away Rosé’s chopsticks with her own. “It’s been months, when are you going to drop this?”

“When we get to sing together on my album,” the blonde insisted. “I’ve got some studio time scheduled for next week, perfect chance to bring you in.”

Jisoo quirked an eyebrow as she chewed on her rice cake. “You’re really serious about this, aren’t you?” Rosé nodded emphatically and stole a piece of broccoli from Jisoo’s plate. “I can’t next week, I’ve got a fitting and a ton of meetings for my new endorsement.”

“Oh, yeah, Lisa mentioned that you signed with JK. How’s that going?”

Jisoo blinked. “How did Lisa know? I haven’t even seen her since the afterparty.”

Instinctively, Jisoo knew the next words out of Rosé’s mouth before they were said. “Oh, she was at Jennie’s office when your name came up, I think.” Her eyes narrowed at Jisoo, her chewing slowing as the gears started to turn in her head. “She said Jennie was being all weird about it. Know anything about that?”

Jisoo was suddenly thankful for her acting skills. She didn’t bat an eyelash at the abrupt change in topic, taking her time to finish her sip of water before answering. “Weird how?”

“I don’t know, I wasn’t there. But I guess Jennie seemed really stressed out after her mom suggested you.” Rosé tilted her head to the side, eyes contemplative, and Jisoo felt her shoulders tense under the scrutiny. “Do you have some reputation for being difficult to work with that I don’t know about? I’ll need to know that before we record together.”

Feeling her shoulders relax, Jisoo let out a relieved chuckle. “No, at least I hope I don’t have that reputation.” She took another sip of her water. “She seemed normal when we met for the contract signing, but maybe I just wouldn’t notice because I don’t know her that well.”

“Why is that, by the way?”

 _Geez, Chaeyoung, what’s with the interrogation?_ Jisoo wanted to respond, but she flashed a strained smile at the singer instead. “What do you mean?”

“You and Jennie knew each other before, but you didn’t stay in touch? Why not? You two seem like you’d get along really well.”

Shrugging, Jisoo picked a dumpling from the basket between them, her voice tinted with measured nonchalance. “I don’t know, she graduated and stopped coming to the coffeeshop. And then I booked Landfall and quit being a waitress not long after.”

Rosé didn’t look fully convinced, but she dropped the subject for now. Mostly because the waiter dropped off their check, but Jisoo wasn’t about to stare a gift horse in the mouth. Until an evil grin spread across Rosé’s face.

“So did I just hear you agree to singing with me?”

* * *

Jennie stared up at her ceiling, watching the morning sun scatter shadows across the wood paneling. She guessed she had about twenty minutes until her alarm went off. The quiet of her bedroom—usually so welcome—now felt deafening. Normally, she sought out the refuge of her apartment, always vacant save for her dogs. Kai, who unfortunately shared a name with one of her pets, had his own place down the block, and given the business-like nature of their engagement, never pressured her to move in together. She appreciated him for that, knowing how much both of their families wished they would at least pretend to be in love with each other.

Kai respected her space always, just as she respected his. Usually, that was just what she wanted. But this morning, her bed seemed bare, empty even. Spreading out on the queen-sized mattress, she felt something she hadn’t felt in years: lonely.

Kuma jumped up onto the bed upon realizing she was awake, and Jennie let the Pomeranian snuggle under the covers with her. The tiny dog’s excited panting sent small puffs of air into the skin of her neck. Jennie wrapped her arms around his body and brought him even closer, appreciating his presence more than ever.

“I wonder if I can make you my emotional support dog, Kuma,” Jennie said into his fur. “I sure could use you at work today.”

Jennie knew that as soon as her alarm went off, she’d have to get out of bed and face the day filled with meetings with their international partners. She usually didn’t mind them, but since the meetings were essentially going to be about her selling them on Kim Jisoo as the face of their brand, she could have done with an extra hour or two of sleep. Jisoo was still a new face to the scene, and while she was well known in Korea, not so much in the rest of Southeast Asia. Jennie looked over at her nightstand, which had a whole notebook filled with reasons why they should care about Jisoo and display her ads in their stores.

She had no doubt that was why she couldn’t sleep last night. After all, spending an evening with a glass of wine and her laptop, poring over pictures and articles of her ex-girlfriend, would be enough to disrupt anyone’s dreams. She buried her face further into Kuma’s fur, trying to decide if she could sneak him into the office in her bag.

* * *

_Sunlight gently nudged Jennie awake, but it was the last thing she wanted right then. Not when she was so comfortable, so wonderfully happy in her dreams. She burrowed further into her pillows, tugging the warmth by her side in closer and throwing her leg over it. It wasn’t until she felt the bed shaking slightly with laughter that she remembered the warmth in her bed was another person._

_Jennie’s eyes shot open, greeted by a sleepy, amused Jisoo. “Hi,” she whispered into the stillness of the morning._

_Jisoo’s answer was just as quiet. “Hi.”_

_Jennie realized one of her arms was flung over Jisoo’s torso, her cheeks growing redder as she felt the pounding heartbeat under her forearm. Not to mention, their legs were tangled together, the comforter twisted beyond recognition at their feet. “I, um, like to cuddle apparently.”_

_“Apparently?” Jisoo made no move to extricate herself from Jennie’s grip. Jennie could still feel the other woman’s heart thundering away under her touch, but her voice stayed steady._

_“I, uh, haven’t really slept with anyone in a long time.” Jennie’s eyes grew to the size of saucers as she heard what she just said. Lifting her head off the pillow, she propped herself up on her free arm and clarified, “I mean in the same bed as someone.”_

_The way her weight was distributed in this new position, her other hand leaned even more into Jisoo. Oddly enough, she felt the elder’s heart start to slow down as she laughed. “I knew what you meant,” Jisoo assured her. “How’d you sleep?”_

_“Really well,” Jennie said, still not moving. From this new vantage point, with the sun making the dark red of her hair shine in a way that gave Jisoo a soft glow, Jennie thought she was looking at a painting. It was unfair that she looked that way just after waking up. “You?”_

_“Better than I have in weeks,” Jisoo answered. Jennie felt a small foot rub against her calf, the faint caress a cue that the elder girl was moving to sit up. Jennie watched in rapt interest as Jisoo stretched her arms above her head as she straightened. “I had a lot of fun last night.”_

_Immediately, Jennie’s mind recalled the touches, the glances, the dancing, the_ Jisoo _of the night before. She fought down a blush. “Me, too.”_

_“I should go run some errands before work, so I’ve got to get going.” Jisoo’s words sent a spiral of disappointment shooting through the business student, but the brush of a warm pair of lips on her cheek stopped Jennie in her tracks. Jisoo was already pulling back, her dazzling smile spoiled only by the dusting of pink across her nose as she disentangled herself from Jennie and got out of the bed. “I’ll see you later?”_

_Nodding dumbly, Jennie watched Jisoo take her work clothes into the bathroom to get changed. She brought a hand up to her face, where she’d felt Jisoo kiss her cheek as if it was something they did all the time. As if they’d known each other for more than a couple weeks. If she concentrated enough, it was almost as if she could still feel the other girl’s nose pressing into her skin and her breath wafting across her face._

_Jennie laid back down, hand still on her cheek, and concentrated very hard._

* * *

Walking out of the dressing room, Jisoo felt eyes on her immediately. Jennie must have arrived while she was changing. Jisoo found her sitting on the sofa situated in front of the stage and mirror and sent her a small nod in greeting. Responding in kind, Jennie’s eyes panned up and down her body, surveying the way the fabric moved as Jisoo walked onto the small stage. The actress did her best to ignore the way Jennie’s gaze seemed to leave a palpable trail of warmth on her skin.

As the tailor came over to take her measurements, Jisoo looked at herself in the mirror. The black, off-the-shoulder sweater paired with her dark grey jeans created a sleek silhouette, and it was easily something she could see herself wearing day-to-day. She saw Jennie’s reflection stand and walk toward her, and all too soon, the designer was next to her, her forehead barely reaching Jisoo’s shoulder.

“This looks good on you,” Jennie said, catching Jisoo’s eye in the mirror. She lifted her hand. “May I?” Jisoo nodded, and she felt Jennie’s fingers dig into the fabric in the small of her back, tugging the cloth slightly. “I think if we took it in here, it would fit you a little better. Does that feel comfortable?”

It was the most physical contact she’d had with Jennie in years, and it took every ounce of Jisoo’s discipline to not visibly react to the jolt that went through her spine when she felt the warm hand on her back. “Yeah, it feels good,” she breathed.

Wordlessly, Jennie accepted a clip from the tailor and secured the extra fabric with it, smoothing down the rest of the sweater over Jisoo’s hips as she stepped away. “Great. The pants also look great. Once Kwan finishes writing the measurements for this one, let’s get you in the dress.”

The whole afternoon passed like that. Jisoo trying on outfit after outfit, feeling more and more like a paper doll, and Jennie taking notes and all too often making small adjustments to the clothes. Aside from those fleeting touches, however, Jisoo was unreasonably bored. She hated shopping, and this felt ten times more exhausting. And she was _hungry_ , as her growling stomach so rudely announced halfway through the fitting of her fifth look.

She caught the small smile that bloomed on Jennie’s face before she hid behind Jisoo to pull down her skirt to sit more at her natural waist. “Did you skip lunch again?” The question was probably not audible to the other people in the room, but the tone was teasing.

Huffing, Jisoo crossed her arms, only to have them lightly slapped back down to her side by Jennie. “Not intentionally.”

“Did you oversleep?”

Color crept onto the actress’s face, hating how she clearly hadn’t changed in the last three years when the other woman had changed so much. “Possibly.”

Jennie’s tinkling laughter floated up to her. “Go get dressed, and let’s get you some food. My treat.”

* * *

_November tended to bring a busier season for the Creature Comforts café. As the weather transitioned from pleasantly cool to outright chilly, more and more people sought out the welcoming heat and hearth of the coffeeshop. While it was great for business, it also had the unintended consequence of taking up more of Jisoo’s time. Most weekdays, she would still see Jennie parked on the couch she’d claimed as her own, studying or working on one presentation or another. She’d manage to squeeze in a quick hug in greeting when she brought Jennie her hazelnut latte, but otherwise she was forced to leave the grad student to her own devices to tend to the other customers._

_Jisoo tried not to let it bother her. Jennie was understanding and always hugged her happily, but in the weeks following their night out, Jisoo hated that she practically had to ignore the younger girl because of her job. She missed their conversations, half of which would be called across the café while Jisoo bussed a table or made a drink. She missed having even just a few minutes to tell Jennie about one of her auditions, or to hear about Jennie’s latest project._

_“Stop being silly,” she chided herself as she steamed the milk for a customer’s latte._

_“Who’s being silly?”_

_Jisoo looked up to see Jennie’s big brown eyes blinking at her curiously, the bookbag on her shoulder declaring she was done for the night. Already, the day was mostly gone, the bustle of the café now diminished to the quiet chatter of a few straggling patrons. Jisoo was so busy she’d hardly noticed the time. “Oh, I was,” she said. The words left her mouth of their own accord as she busied herself with finishing the latte._

_Waiting for Jisoo to deliver the coffee to the customer at the end of the bar, Jennie tapped her fingers lightly against the countertop. When Jisoo returned, Jennie spoke up again, seemingly in no hurry to pay her check. “Why were you being silly?”_

_It was the most they’d spoken in weeks, and Jisoo felt even more foolish at the way her stomach flipped at the sound of Jennie’s gentle voice. “For wishing the shop would calm down so I could see you more,” she said bluntly. She was rubbish at lying anyway. Feeling her face heat up, she hurriedly punched Jennie’s order into the register. “Cash or credit today?”_

_She looked up to see a happy, if bemused, expression on Jennie’s face. “I’ve missed you, too, Jisoo.” She handed over her card, her fingers brushing Jisoo’s in the process._

_“Glad that’s cleared up,” Jisoo said, hoping her matter-of-fact tone would be enough to stop the conversation right there. She swiped the card with slightly more vigor than was strictly necessary._

_“Jisoo.” Jennie’s voice made her look up. The brunette flashed her a gummy smile, and Jisoo felt herself calm down. “Are you free this weekend?”_

_“Are you going to drag me out to go clubbing with you again?”_

_Jennie narrowed her eyes at the mock reluctance in Jisoo’s voice. “Actually, I was thinking we could go to the park and take some new headshots for you,” she suggested._

_Jisoo’s eyebrows disappeared into her hairline. She’d forgotten all about those, and she certainly hadn’t expected Jennie to remember. “Really?”_

_“I just got a new camera, and you said your headshots are a couple years old now, right?” Jisoo nodded, and Jennie took her credit card back with a nod of her own. “Then it’s settled. Saturday morning, we’re going to the park and getting you some new pictures.”_

* * *

Jisoo’s eyes were burning a hole into the side of Jennie’s head while the executive told the waitress their order, and Jennie made herself look at her phone on the table first before returning her attention to the older girl, who still watched her intently. “What?”

“Are we ever going to stop being weird about it?” Jisoo asked, and Jennie should have expected the question sooner or later. She knew Jisoo wasn’t one to beat around the bush. She was a genuine person—blunt, but genuine. Dissembling wasn’t her style.

Sighing, Jennie sipped her water. This conversation needed to happen eventually. At least this way it was away from the prying eyes in her office. “I’d like to stop, yeah. But I don’t know how to.”

Jisoo’s black hair fell into her face as she looked down at her hands, which had twisted the napkin into shreds. “It’s hard to act like I don’t know you,” she said softly.

“Same here,” Jennie admitted, fighting the urge to reach across the table and still her hands. “A lot has changed, huh?”

Jisoo shrugged. “A lot, and not so much,” she said. “I still oversleep way too often if Duri or Jinyoung don’t come over to wake me up.”

“You brought Jinyoung with you to the SBS awards, right?” Jennie knew the question was unnecessary. She’d gone home after the party and immediately looked him up, looked _them_ up.

“He’s been a good friend to me.” Jisoo nodded, finally releasing the destroyed napkin and letting its remains settle on the table.

As the waitress brought over their bowls of ramen, Jennie picked up her chopsticks and watched Jisoo closely as she continued. “You know there are rumors about you two, right?”

Jisoo, to her credit, only paused for a microsecond in her retrieval of her utensils. “And you know why those are just rumors,” she responded so quietly Jennie had to resort to reading her lips.

“And you’re purposely letting them happen,” Jennie surmised, taking the deliberate way Jisoo took a large bite of entirely too hot noodles as confirmation. “Is he aware of why?”

Looking like she wanted to object to the line of questioning, Jisoo’s eyes narrowed while she chewed before yielding with an imperceptibly small nod. “We both benefit,” Jisoo said once she finished the bite. “Does Kai know about…our friendship?”

Friendship. The word felt insulting when directed toward the time she’d spent with Jisoo, but Jennie was all too cognizant of the other guests in the restaurant becoming more and more aware that a famous actress was in the establishment. “No, not really. He knows the broad strokes because I was pretty terrible at hiding it for a while after graduation—” Jisoo’s eyes dropped back down to the table at the reminder, and whatever Jennie had left to say died in her throat.

“Maybe we just stick to current events,” Jisoo suggested, forcing a smile that made her eyes shrink into crescents. “Talking about the past might make it too hard to work together.”

Jennie stared at the woman sitting across from her, who never liked to show people she was upset, but to Jennie’s eyes, she was hurting. Jisoo wasn’t welcoming these memories, the pain that came with them, the threat to her career if they ever became common knowledge. She wanted to move on, and it was apparent in the stiff way she held herself during the fitting, and in the way she kept her focus solely on the ramen as she slurped the noodles up. But mostly, it was the way Jisoo spoke to her so formally. Like they’d just met for the first time a couple weeks ago.

She wanted to respect Jisoo’s wishes, and she switched to discussing how she’d met Lisa. But as she picked at her bowl, she worried over the fact that she wasn’t running from the memories as quickly as Jisoo. She arguably also had a lot to lose if their history came to light, and she didn’t relish the memories of her crying for weeks after it ended.

But she also didn’t think she could ever run from memories of the only time she was truly happy.

* * *

_Saturday morning was crisp, bright, and perfect for photoshoots. Jennie mentally patted herself on the back as she led Jisoo by the hand through the park._

_“This was a great idea,” she said, her camera secured around her neck and bumping lightly against her stomach as they walked._

_“We haven’t even started yet,” Jisoo laughed. Jennie plowed on ahead, tugging her along looking for just the right spot to start their session._

_When Jisoo’d walked up to her mere minutes ago, Jennie couldn’t wait to take her picture. This was yet another side of the waitress she’d never seen before. Rouge lips, pink cheeks, and impossibly dark eyes framed by long lashes and just the lightest layer of rosy eye shadow. Jisoo’s auburn locks curled slightly at the bottom so that when the wind picked up, they danced around her face and made the air leave Jennie’s lungs. With her dark blue, v-neck sweater under a grey blazer, Jisoo looked almost painfully stunning._

_“Just trust me,” Jennie said after a few minutes, finally settling on a stone wall overlooking the pond. She guided Jisoo to the wall, approving of the way the late morning sun mixed with the leaves of the trees and cast a wistful halo of light around her._

_Jisoo’s eyes found hers, and Jennie could almost hear the words of affirmation in that look. She so badly wanted to capture that expression. Bringing her camera up to eye-level, Jennie peered through the viewfinder. The colors of the park became both brighter and less focused, and Jennie clicked the shutter, hoping she was able to catch the way Jisoo’s eyes reflected a whole world of color._

_“How long have you been into photography?” Jisoo’s voice broke through her focus after about ten minutes of nothing but the sound of the camera shutter and of Director Jennie telling Jisoo to adjust her posture every few moments._

_“Since I was a kid, I think,” Jennie answered from behind the camera. She lowered it to click through some of the pictures. “It was pretty much the only thing my dad and I had in common growing up.”_

_She raised the camera once again to see Jisoo seemingly staring into her soul through the lens. Click. “Not very close with your parents?”_

_There was something about the shadows from the leaves playing across Jisoo’s face that suited this type of conversation, the picture-perfect moment making the topic feel less heavy, less real. Jennie shrugged, shifting closer for more pictures. “They just have high expectations of their only daughter,” she said. “They loved me in their own way, but not really in a way that made it easy to talk to them.”_

_Jisoo stayed silent for a few moments, posing for Jennie. “That can be hard,” she finally said._

_“It’s okay, I had friends.” Jennie lowered the camera once again, stepping forward to brush a stray lock of hair out of Jisoo’s face. “And I learned how to take care of myself.”_

_Dark doe eyes stared up at her, and Jennie found her hand lingering. Jisoo held her gaze, keeping her rooted to the spot without lifting a finger. “Sounds lonely.”_

Honestly, it was fine until that morning after you slept over _, Jennie thought to herself. She’d spent the last few weeks trying not to dwell on the comfort and security she’d felt in Jisoo’s arms. “I’m pretty good by myself,” she insisted. She let her hand drop, only to feel warm fingers intertwining with hers._

_Jisoo stood up, squeezing Jennie’s hand and leading her away from the pond. “Be that as it may, I’m not letting you be by yourself anymore,” she declared. “Come on, I’ll buy you lunch.”_

* * *

Sighing, Jisoo let herself into her house and leaned against the door. She closed her eyes and made herself take a few slow, measured breaths. One day, hopefully soon, seeing Jennie would be easier. With the fitting and their early dinner, there was entirely too much Jennie for Jisoo to handle. Jennie by her side, her hands smoothing over Jisoo’s body as she adjusted the clothes. Jennie across the table from her, filling her vision, her cheeks puffed out with every bite she took.

Jisoo saw the look in her eyes when she talked about graduation, saw the regret shining there, and it hurt too much. She saw the way Jennie’s face fell when Jisoo insisted they avoid talking about that part of their lives. She saw Jennie’s smile break out when she regaled Jisoo with the story of how she and Lisa became friends, and she saw how proud the younger woman was about all that she’d accomplished at her mother’s company.

Painful memories or not, there was a feeling of ice thawing in Jisoo’s chest. She opened her eyes and stared at the grains and whorls in the wood of her door. It was entirely too pleasant to see Jennie talk about her life, to hear about her friends and her pets, to just see Jennie in general.

Her phone buzzed, and when she looked down, she saw Jinyoung’s face flashing on the screen. “Hey,” she greeted, her voice sounding muffled from her proximity to the door.

“You sound weird.”

Picking her head up, Jisoo rolled her eyes. “You always say the sweetest things.” She pushed off the door and headed further into her house, kicking off her shoes in the process. “What’s up?”

“I know you’re dealing with all your Jennie stuff right now, but I’m afraid I must request your services,” Jinyoung said, sounding tired.

“Oh?”

“Dispatch is a little shit,” he declared. Curious, Jisoo put him on speaker so she could bring up the website on her phone. There in black and white was an offhanded comment at the bottom of an article about how close Jinyoung and his co-star seemed in set photos. His male co-star.

Jisoo sighed. “Yes, it is. What do you need?”

“Date night tomorrow?”

“You got it. I’ll wear something devastating.” Jisoo mentally started sorting through her dresses, knowing they’d need to go somewhere that appeared intimate but public enough for people to sneak pictures of them. In the back of her mind, she was fully aware that their situation had no real solution, that a neutral third party would be appalled at how easily they accepted they needed to hide huge parts of themselves. But it was the nature of the beast, and right then, she was happy to help Jinyoung for once. It would be a good distraction, and they always had fun together.

Jinyoung snorted, “You could wear a baggy t-shirt, and you’d still be devastating.”

“See? You really _do_ say the sweetest things.”


	4. Appearances

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm pretty sure I only have one more chapter already written after this so....enjoy now while you can! (Ps feedback def helps stave off the inevitable writer's block 😘)

_The door swung open not three seconds after Jisoo giddily knocked on it, revealing Jennie in all her casual glory. “Hey, Jisoo, what’s up?” She brushed her messy bangs out of her face and tugged at her hoodie, making Jisoo all too aware of just how late it was. But she couldn’t feel guilty because she was about jumping out of her skin in her excitement._

_“I got a call back!” she declared, her phone still in her hand._

_Jennie’s eyes widened and her face lit up. “That’s amazing, Jichu! What audition?”_

_“For the cosmetics commercial I auditioned for last week,” Jisoo said. “They said it’s between me and one other girl, and they want me to do another screen test next week.”_

_Jennie’s smile grew with every word out of Jisoo’s mouth, and soon she was all but jogging in place with Jisoo. “That’s so cool!” She pulled Jisoo in for a hug, and Jisoo let herself bury her face into the nook between Jennie’s neck and shoulder. “Come in, come in, we’re celebrating.”_

_Too quickly, Jennie pulled away from the hug and tugged Jisoo further into the apartment. As she did, Jisoo took note of the dim lighting. Most of the illumination was coming from Jennie’s bedroom until Jennie switched on the lights in the kitchen. “Were you getting ready for bed?” She checked the time on her phone—8:46 p.m. “Did I interrupt your evening?”_

_Jennie waved her off, dragging Jisoo to sit at the counter while she went to procure them glasses. “You interrupted nothing but binge-watching TV shows.” She deposited two shot glasses in front of Jisoo and went to her fridge for the soju._

_“I didn’t mean to get in the way of your night,” Jisoo said, blushing. “I just got the call, and I was so excited that I wanted to share it with you.”_

_In her embarrassment, Jisoo missed the way Jennie smiled at her while she poured the liquor into the glasses. She only looked up when she felt Jennie’s hand lay over hers. “Hey, you’re always welcome here. You’re never an interruption, and I love that you wanted to share this with me.” Jennie’s eyes were wide and sincere, earnestly looking at Jisoo in a way that made fluttering start up in her stomach._

_“If you’re sure,” Jisoo trailed off._

_“I’m positive.” Jennie straightened and handed Jisoo a shot glass. “To you, making your start as a kickass actress!”_

_Laughing, Jisoo clinked her glass with Jennie’s and knocked it back. Immediately, Jennie refilled it. “I don’t have the job yet.”_

_Jennie fixed her with a look as if she was insane. “Please, it’s a_ cosmetics _company.”_

_“So?”_

_“Do you really not know what you look like?”_

_Bewildered, Jisoo shrugged. “I know I’m pretty, but everyone going out for these parts is.”_

_To Jisoo’s surprise, Jennie heaved an exasperated sigh. “You’re more than just_ pretty _, Jisoo.” She paused to take the second shot of soju, waiting for Jisoo to follow suit before she continued. “You’re drop-dead gorgeous. I guarantee you that cosmetics company is just making you do the call back to make sure you want it.”_

_Jisoo felt like her face was on fire, clearing her throat and reaching for the bottle to distract herself. “You’re just being nice.” One look at Jennie’s indignant face told her the student didn’t think so. Jisoo offered her a refill. “But thank you for believing in me.”_

_“I’m not just being nice, and you’re going to need to believe in yourself a lot more if you’re going to survive in showbusiness,” Jennie cautioned. She moved around the counter so that she was standing right next to Jisoo. Her hands found Jisoo’s and turned her so that Jisoo faced her, stepping forward between Jisoo’s knees. She got so close Jisoo had to lean back just a little so she could still focus on Jennie’s face without going cross-eyed. “You’re beautiful, and you’re talented. You deserve to get that part.”_

_It seemed Jisoo was cursed to have flaming red cheeks for the entirety of the evening. Blood rushed in her ears, and Jisoo was sure her breathing had picked up. She couldn’t be certain though, as all her focus was currently aimed at_ not _looking at Jennie’s mouth. Not trusting her voice, she just nodded, her eyes never leaving Jennie’s._

_“Bring the soju. Let’s go watch something.” Not even waiting for an answer, Jennie pulled Jisoo up from the barstool and into her bedroom._

_Jisoo only barely had enough time to grab the bottle before she was hustled under the comforter with Jennie’s laptop on her legs. When Jennie climbed in after her and curled into her side, hugging the soju to her chest, Jisoo couldn’t stop the fluttering in her stomach if she tried. “Don’t hog the soju, Jendeukie.”_

_“Jendeukie?” Jennie looked up at Jisoo through her bangs._

_“Because you stick to me,” Jisoo explained, fondness lacing her words. Seeing the pink staining Jennie’s face and that she was getting ready to put space between them, Jisoo placed her hand on Jennie’s, keeping her where she was. “I like it. You make me feel needed.”_

_Jennie pouted but stayed. “Most other people would think you’re lying. Everyone at school thinks I’m a bitch.”_

_“Everyone at school is dumb,” Jisoo stated simply, reaching for the soju. “But also, it’s nice to know you’re not this clingy with people who obviously don’t appreciate you.”_

_“Can we chill out with calling me clingy?” Jennie laughed. She made to get the soju back, but Jisoo held it out of her reach. The more Jennie lunged for it, the harder Jisoo laughed, and soon Jisoo was cornered, her arm outstretched and Jennie on top of her, holding the bottle with her._

_Jisoo felt every curve of Jennie’s body as she lay on top of her, felt every heave of her chest as the younger girl strived for air. Somehow Jisoo’s other hand landed on the small of Jennie’s back, their faces a breath apart. She wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, but she would have been happy to stay there through the night. “See?” she exhaled. “Clingy.”_

_Despite the soju in her grasp, Jennie also didn’t move. “But you just said you like it.” Jennie’s voice got low and breathy, and Jisoo maybe enjoyed it too much._

_She was at a loss for words. If she confirmed what Jennie said, it felt like it would be a confession. She couldn’t think, not with Jennie pressed up against her and her suggestive words. All her brain provided was images of Jennie dipping her head to her neck and peppering it with kisses, of Jennie running her hands up and down her body, of Jennie sleeping soundly with her limbs entwined with Jisoo’s._

_Jisoo had no idea how much time passed, but clearly it was too much because Jennie finally gripped the soju bottle firmly and pulled it out of her grasp, rolling off of Jisoo as she took a swig. “I win.”_

_Taking a moment to catch her breath, Jisoo sat up and brushed her hair out of her face. “I’m still calling you Jendeukie,” she said. Jennie looked like she wanted to object but Jisoo held her hand up. “You won by_ being _Jendeukie, thus proving my point.”_

_Seconds passed and Jennie said nothing, frustration furrowing her brow and puffing her cheeks. “Fine, but I still won so I get to pick the movie.”_

* * *

“Shit.”

Jisoo twirled in her black, fitted minidress. “You like?”

Jinyoung closed the door behind him and leaned against it, his eyes looking Jisoo up and down for the third time. “I’m gay, and I want to take you upstairs right now and ravish you.”

Blushing, Jisoo looked down at herself and instinctively adjusted her posture so that the asymmetric cutout in her chest wouldn’t accidentally show too much. “Good,” she said. “If I can make you _actually_ think those thoughts about me, then it won’t be a problem convincing the press you think those thoughts about me.”

“Shall we?” Jinyoung offered his arm, which Jisoo accepted after donning her jacket. “Our romantic evening awaits.”

Jisoo hadn’t even taken two steps out of the car before she was momentarily blinded by the flash of a camera. “I think you’re safe,” she murmured as Jinyoung ushered her into the restaurant.

“I’m sorry for all of the thirsty tabloid content that you’re going to have to deal with tomorrow,” Jinyoung replied just as softly, his hand brushing the small of her back.

Self-conscious, Jisoo glanced down at herself once again. The jacket was doing its job of covering up her torso, but her legs were still on display. “Did I overdo it?”

They reached the door of the restaurant, and Jinyoung left her side to open the door for her. “No,” he said, an adoring smile on his face for the photographers still clicking away. “I just don’t think you realize what you do to people when you wear dark lipstick.” Jisoo’s eyes widened and her hand involuntarily flew to her mouth until Jinyoung nodded at her to walk into the building and away from the press. “I swear, you act so innocent I almost believe it.”

“ _Jinyoung_ ,” she hissed, frantically trying to bat down the heat in her cheeks. “How could you not tell me my lipstick was too much?”

He didn’t answer right away as he was busy talking with the maître d’. As they made their way to their private corner booth, Jinyoung leaned into her ear. “Are you telling me no one has ever told you how sexy you are?”

Jisoo gaped at him, mouth opening and closing like a fish, unable to come up with a response while he busied himself with taking off her jacket and urging her to sit in the booth. They were both situated before she found words again. “What has gotten into you tonight?”

“You’re doing me a favor tonight,” Jinyoung started, taking the napkin from the table and draping it over his lap, “so I thought I’d do you one since you’ve been so down on yourself with all this Jennie stuff.”

“Shhh!” Jisoo’s eyes darted around them, searching out any curious eavesdroppers and finding none. “You’re doing me a favor by hitting on me?”

Jinyoung shrugged and picked up a menu. “You’ve been very mopey lately, and _someone_ needed to remind you you’re hot.”

“My whole career is predicated on my looks, Jin,” Jisoo deadpanned. She picked up her menu, too, hoping it would hide the blush that most definitely spread to her chest.

“And _yet_ you constantly forget that and dress up in a way that makes us mere mortals feel unworthy yet grateful,” he shot back.

Jisoo wished there were bread rolls on the table already so she could chuck one at him. She was forestalled by the waiter arriving with their wine list, and she focused her attention on him instead. As soon as she ordered her chardonnay, she turned back to her date. “How is it that you can compliment me and make me so angry at the same time?”

“It’s a gift,” Jinyoung smirked. “And I’m right.”

“And I have not been _mopey_ ,” Jisoo insisted. “I was just _adjusting_.”

“Tell that to my suit shirt.”

“I swear to god, Jinyoung, if you don’t stop bringing that up—”

“You’ll throw food at me?”

Jisoo pouted, resenting that he knew her so well. That absolutely _was_ her plan. “When you least expect it,” she threatened, taking a sip of her water. Their bread and wine arrived not long after, and Jisoo let the subject drop, opting to eat the bread in the basket instead of using it as a projectile because she was suddenly starving. “Do you think we’re doing enough?” she asked eventually.

“Enough?”

She lowered her voice in case any servers were nearby. “Do we seem couple-y enough?”

Snorting, Jinyoung buried his face in his drink. “Once again, you look like _that_. Even _I’m_ attracted to you right now, so yes, I’m pretty sure the pictures will make it look convincing.”

Jisoo rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean. We’ve been ‘going to dinner’ for a couple months now. What if people start looking closer? You know how the internet can be.”

Of course, Jinyoung knew how the internet could be. They were in the most atmospheric restaurant in Seoul because of the internet. A few innocuous pictures of him standing too close to his co-star were already being dissected and analyzed by the internet. “You think we need to do more?”

Now it was Jisoo’s turn to shrug. “I don’t know _when_ we’ll need to do more, but we might have to eventually.” She sipped her wine. “Do you think we’ll ever be able to be happy?”

Silence met her for a few seconds. Jisoo looked up to see a somber Jinyoung, who seemed genuinely lost when he met her eyes. “I hope so,” he said after a moment. “I have trouble seeing how, though.”

“ _Now_ who’s the mopey one.” Jisoo tapped her friend under the table with her heel. “Let’s talk about something happier.”

* * *

Jennie excused herself from the table as politely as she could, grateful that older businessmen still somehow bought the “I need to powder my nose” line. She made a beeline for the private bathroom, leaning against the door as she closed it behind her. She didn’t need to powder her nose. She didn’t need to pee. She just needed a _break_.

Executive dinners like this were like pulling teeth to Jennie, filled with puffery and endless ego-stroking of the almost entirely male party. She hated the idea of spending a small fortune at the fanciest restaurant in town on a bunch of men who took one look at her youth—among other things—and thought they could pull a fast one on her. How her mother handled these dinners for so many years without going mental was beyond her.

She walked to the mirror, figuring she might as well actually touch up her makeup if she was going to hide in here for a few more minutes. She suddenly wished she’d thought to sneak a flask in her purse. That would have been a _great_ way to achieve a little more serenity for the rest of the night.

The door opened suddenly, making Jennie almost jump out of her skin. She must have forgotten to lock it. She turned to say that obviously the bathroom was taken, but she heard a small “Oh,” that stopped the words on her tongue.

Jisoo stood before her, one hand braced against the door frame and the other still holding the door ajar. “I’m sorry,” she said as she made to retreat. “I’ll wait.”

“No, it’s fine.” Jennie waved her inside. After a moment’s hesitation, Jisoo acquiesced, closing the door behind her. “Fancy meeting you here,” she laughed half-heartedly, her eyes raking the actress up and down. In a long-sleeved, jet-black, velvet minidress with a diagonal cutout in the chest, paired with black heels and dark red lips, Jisoo looked downright sinful. “Hot date?”

Those dark red lips separated in consideration before Jisoo shrugged. “It appears that way,” she said. “You here with Kai?” Jisoo’s eyes also panned along Jennie’s body, and Jennie had never felt so plain in her designer suit.

Jennie shook her head and smoothed the imaginary wrinkles out of her suit jacket. “Business dinner. Just needed a place to hide from them for a little bit.” Jennie’s eyes widened as she realized where they were. “Oh, no, did you actually need to—?”

“No, no,” Jisoo reassured, twin red spots blooming on her cheeks. “Too many people were watching us eat. I guess I needed to hide a little bit, too.”

“But isn’t that why you came out to dinner in the first place?” Jennie watched as Jisoo approached the mirror, settling close enough that she could feel the brush of air as Jisoo adjusted her hair.

Jisoo sent Jennie a sidelong glance. “Your point being?” she asked dryly.

Rolling her eyes at Jisoo’s deliberate ignorance, Jennie turned to face the older woman. “You taking a prolonged bathroom break during a romantic night out doesn’t send the right message.”

“Would it make you feel better to know that Jinyoung is _also_ taking a bathroom break right now?”

Jennie’s eyes narrowed. “So you just left your table empty? Why both of you at the same time?” The pink on Jisoo’s cheeks darkened even more, and Jennie gasped as things clicked in her mind. “Kim Jisoo!”

“What?” Jisoo feigned nonchalance, but her rapidly reddening face betrayed her as she started tousling her hair.

“You’re in here to make it look like you _hooked up at the restaurant_?”

Jisoo quickly turned to her and urged her to keep her voice down. “Just a _little_.”

“Just a _little_ makeout? In public?” Jennie hissed, trying not to focus on why this was such a big deal to her. “ _Why_?”

“ _Not_ in public,” Jisoo insisted. “But if the press outside think we took advantage of our _private corner booth_ then all the better.” Seeing Jennie’s still outraged face, Jisoo sighed. “We just need to give the press a little more fodder to get them off our backs for a while.”

Jennie backed off then, remembering seeing the online whispers about Jinyoung when she looked him up after the awards show. “So how are you gonna do it?”

“I was just going to mess up my hair and lipstick a little,” Jisoo said, running her hands through her pin-straight mane. “Apparently easier said than done though.”

Sighing, Jennie realized they were taking too long in the bathroom. “Let me help.” Her hands wove through Jisoo’s hair and started ruffling in earnest. “Bite your lips some to get them puffy.”

Jisoo did as she was told, and Jennie was so focused on messing up Jisoo’s hair that she took a few seconds to realize how easily she’d invaded the other woman’s space. Jennie looked down and saw Jisoo’s unblinking, dark gaze while she chewed on her bottom lip, and her hands stilled. A million different images flew through Jennie’s mind right then, the most prominent ones being memories of the two of them in the backroom of Creature Comforts, stealing each other’s breath, giggling, touching, and hoping not to get caught.

Unthinkingly, Jennie reached up and freed Jisoo’s bottom lip with her thumb. She felt Jisoo stiffen at the contact, but Jennie kept going. She rubbed insistently at the lipstick just enough to smudge some of it away. She steadfastly ignored the way her heart was pounding in her ears and the way Jisoo seemed to stop breathing altogether. She simply had a job to do, nothing more, nothing less.

“That should do it,” she whispered after what felt like an eternity spent staring at Jisoo’s now even plumper lips. Her hand fell away, and she stepped back to take in her work. The actress’s chest heaved like she’d just run a 10K, which only served to further sell the picture of a thoroughly kissed Kim Jisoo. Jennie felt a little breathless herself.

Blinking several times, Jisoo broke their eye contact and turned to the mirror. “Th-Thanks for the help,” Jisoo said, her voice huskier than normal. She even _sounded_ like she’d gone a few rounds. Jennie was almost too good at her job, she decided.

The softest of knocks broke through the haze that had befallen the two women. “Jisoo, you ready to go? The car’s here,” Jinyoung’s muffled voice came through the wood.

“Coming,” Jisoo called back, and she gave herself a shake before looking back at Jennie. “Have a good night, Jennie.”

Jennie nodded and watched Jisoo leave the bathroom, hearing Jinyoung whistling a little at the perfectly mussed woman that looped her arm around his. As soon as the door closed behind her, the air seemed to return to the room again. Jennie’s heart raced and she braced herself against the counter, splashing some cold water on her neck. She’d _definitely_ been gone for too long.

By the time she got back to the table, the man seated to her left welcomed her back with far too much fanfare. “We were about to mount a search party for you, Miss Kim,” he joked.

Forcing a laugh, Jennie reached for her wine. “No need to panic, Mr. Park. You know how long lines for women’s bathrooms can be.” He seemed to buy it, and Jennie thanked the half empty bottle of soju in front of him for that. She took a generous gulp of her own drink and kept it cradled to her chest. She had a feeling she’d need several more sips before she’d be settled enough to put the glass back on the table. “Now, where were we?”

* * *

_Jennie looked up from her textbook when she saw Jisoo excuse herself from the counter to answer the phone. Her boss nodded and waved her off, taking over the wiping down of the counter. Jennie’s gaze followed Jisoo as she ducked into the hallway behind the counter. She watched as the older girl leaned against the wall, her head bent as she listened intently to whoever was on the other side of the call. Her textbook lay forgotten on her lap. Jennie had a feeling she knew who was calling, and she desperately wanted to see Jisoo’s reaction._

_She didn’t have to wait long. About thirty seconds into the call, Jennie watched as Jisoo’s face lit up, and she started to bounce on her toes excitedly. Jennie chuckled to herself as she watched the waitress bow to the air in front of her as she said her goodbyes before hanging up. When Jisoo turned, her eyes immediately found Jennie’s and she quickly made her way over to the couch._

_“Good news?” Jennie asked, suppressing the laughter in her voice._

_Jisoo leaned over the back of the couch, gripping the cushions as if to ground her since her feet still seemed to want to leave the ground altogether. “I got the commercial!” she squealed under her breath, still mindful she was at work. “My first paid acting job!”_

_“Congratulations!” Jennie tossed her book off her lap so she could get up on her knees and hug Jisoo over the back of the couch. Her eyes slid closed when she felt Jisoo’s hands squeezing her back. “We’ve got to celebrate,” she said, her chin bouncing off Jisoo’s shoulder as she spoke._

_Pulling back, Jisoo let her arms stay on top of Jennie’s, not yet willing to fully separate. “What did you have in mind?”_

_“Dinner tonight,” Jennie nodded. “My treat.”_

_While Jisoo didn’t answer right away, Jennie watched with fascination as the corner of Jisoo’s lips quirked upward and pink bloomed in her cheeks. Ducking her head, she looked up at Jennie through her eyelashes and whispered, “Sounds good.”_

_Jennie felt her own smile widen at how cute Jisoo looked right then, and she tightened her hold on Jisoo’s forearms just for a second. “Great, it’s a date.”_

_Jisoo’s cheeks darkened, but that corner of her lip tugged upward even more. “I should get back to work.” She nodded back to the counter and slid her hands down Jennie’s arm to squeeze hers just for a second. “See you tonight?”_

_“Dress up,” Jennie urged as their hands fell away from each other. “I’m taking you somewhere fancy, okay?”_

_Just before she turned around, Jisoo’s eyes crinkled with her delighted grin. Jennie could tell she was not fully understanding what was happening, but the mix of confusion and happiness on her face was enough to calm Jennie’s suddenly racing heart when she realized what she’d just done._

_Jennie hurriedly sat back down on the couch and started packing her things, knowing she needed to relocate to her apartment to finish her work. After all, now she had research to do, reservations to make, and—maybe?—a date with Jisoo tonight._


	5. Pictures

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, everyone! We have officially caught up to what I have written, so updates will be a little slower from here on in. The state of the pandemic very much dictates how much extra work I have to do, so times I'll have time/energy to write will be a little inconsistent. But I will have a few days off for christmas and my vacation for new years (obvi my trip got cancelled), so hopefully will have more time to write then! Enjoy!

A knock at her office door made Jennie look up from her computer, and she saw Kai’s face appear from behind it. “Hey,” he said sheepishly, fully entering the office with a coffee carrier in tow. “I come bearing gifts.”

“Oh no, what did you do?” Jennie asked, dread rising up in her throat.

Dropping the coffee off on her desk, Kai grabbed his cup and collapsed into the waiting chair behind him. “It’s not what I did. It’s what my parents and your parents did.”

“Whatever it is, there better be liquor in these cups.” Anything involving their parents would only mean more stress in both of their lives. Jennie took her coffee and peered down the opening, sniffing for good measure. Just coffee. Rats.

Kai took a bracing sip of his beverage and dropped the bomb. “They’ve decided we’ve been engaged long enough, and we should officially start planning our wedding for early summer.”

A few weeks ago, maybe that wouldn’t have felt quite so much like a punch to the gut. A few weeks ago, Jennie may have just swallowed it as accepting the inevitable. A few weeks ago, she didn’t have a constant reminder of what it was like to have butterflies for someone. For the same someone as before, so strongly it was as if the intervening years hadn’t even happened. Jennie stared down at her cup, a manicured finger popping the lid on and off as she processed the news. Processed how much her feelings had changed about the news in such a short amount of time. “It doesn’t feel real to talk about us _actually_ getting married,” she said after a bit.

Kai barked a hollow laugh. “You’re telling me. I’m pretty sure I remember giving you the ring and telling you we’d be able to find a way around the marriage part of it.”

“Yeah, I’m still waiting for that plan, mister.” Jennie sighed and took a gulp of her coffee. “Not that I don’t _relish_ the idea of a loveless marriage.”

“Why, Jennie Kim, I’m hurt,” Kai scoffed, his hand on his heart. “Are you saying you don’t love me even as a friend you’ve known since you had braces?”

Shuddering, Jennie shot back, “ _Especially_ because you’ve seen me in braces.”

Kai just chuckled into his coffee, and the two of them sat in silence for a few minutes. It was a lot to absorb, the idea that their impending marriage was actually going to happen. “Is it weird that we never tried to make us a thing?”

“How could we have?” Jennie shrugged. “When we got engaged, we were both still reeling from our own heartbreaks.”

“Did you ever see that girl again, by the way?” Kai asked, not realizing that his words caused Jennie’s heart rate to skyrocket. “After the whole thing at your graduation?”

 _Do I tell him?_ Jennie chewed on her bottom lip, her eyes scanning her fiancé’s face for any signs of untrustworthiness. She knew she’d find none. He’d been a faithful friend, and he’d never once given her reason to question his discretion. _Do I tell him that I now see her_ regularly _, that I spend every night trying not to think about kissing her, that I am completely and unreasonably_ not _over her?_ “Um—” The words wouldn’t leave her mouth. “No, it was a pretty complete break. What about you? Did you ever see Rei again?”

“She moved back to Japan right after we got engaged.” It was years ago, but Jennie could still see the sorrow in Kai’s face as he talked about his own lost love. “I tried reaching out to her, but nothing. According to social media, she’s dating someone new.”

Jennie wanted to laugh at the two of them, the miserable power couple dreaming of former relationships while planning their wedding. “Did we give up too easily?” she asked quietly.

“Give up on what?”

“The idea that we could be happy.”

Shrugging, Kai couldn’t keep the faint bitterness out of his voice. “Our idea of happiness didn’t factor into our parents’ plans.”

* * *

Straightening her dress, Jisoo stepped out of the dressing room, seeing the cameras and lights already set up and focused on the deep red backdrop. She scanned the room for anybody familiar, glossing over the other actresses milling near the makeup area in her vain search for company.

A smiling face entered her vision, and Jisoo almost took a step back when she realized who it was. The taller woman, stunning with her intense gaze and bright red lips that appeared to be in a perpetual pout, extended a slender hand. “Jisoo, right?” Her voice was warm and low, washing over Jisoo like a summer wave. “You’re all anyone has been talking about. I’m so happy to finally meet you.”

Lee Sunmi, just three years her senior, was a legend in Jisoo’s eyes. To be faced with what Jisoo considered to be the epitome of class and talent was enough to make the younger actress struggle for words. “You’re Sunmi,” she said dumbly, absently shaking the woman’s hand. The handshake was warm and gentle, and Jisoo couldn’t help but notice how smooth her skin was.

Sunmi laughed, her eyes closing as she tipped her head back, while Jisoo tried to tamp down the pink in her cheeks as she heard herself. “Yes, I am,” Sunmi eventually said. “I loved you in Snowdrop.”

The battle with the blush was lost. Jisoo felt her face heat up unbearably quickly and dropped Sunmi’s hand. She didn’t think someone like _her_ would have watched such a show or even paid a newbie actress that kind of attention. “Thank you,” Jisoo murmured, looking everywhere but at her idol’s face. “It was really not as big as everyone is making it out to be.”

A beat of silence, and then Sunmi chuckled once again. “You really believe that, don’t you?” She dropped Jisoo’s hand in favor of tucking it into the crook of her arm, guiding Jisoo toward the set. “It may not feel like it, but you belong on this cover with us.”

“Hardly,” Jisoo said, focusing on keeping one foot in front of the other. “I just got started!”

“Get ready, little one,” Sunmi warned, her words sending puffs of warm air fluttering into Jisoo’s ear. “If this is you at your start, you’re going to be a big deal for a long time.”

Jisoo couldn’t answer, not that she would have been able to come up with anything to say, as the pair reached the remainder of the women slated for the cover shoot. Sunmi introduced her to the other three “Top Actresses in Korea,” all the while keeping her hand loosely looped in Jisoo’s arm. The heat from her palm soaked through the light fabric of Jisoo’s long-sleeved gown, setting the newcomer’s heart to all but pounding out of her chest. Sunmi was everything she aspired to be, and she’d acknowledged Jisoo, treated her like an equal.

As the photographer corralled the five of them into the staging area, Jisoo tugged at the sleeve of her dress, which she was all too aware bore the label of JK Designs just inside the collar. The slim-fit black number suited Jennie so much more than it did her, and yet Jisoo was the one wearing it. She didn’t think much of the backless aspect of the dress—that is, until the photographer positioned her in the middle of the group facing Sunmi, and Sunmi’s warm hand brushed the bare skin of her lower back.

Suddenly, Jisoo was aware of how close she was to the other woman. The other actresses notwithstanding, she was all but pressed up against Sunmi, hugging her lightly with the taller’s chin brushing Jisoo’s cheek. During a moment when the photographer directed one of the girls behind Jisoo, Sunmi looked down and offered her the quickest of winks. So quick Jisoo could have sworn she imagined it if not for the way the hand on her back very _purposefully_ stroked up and then decidedly downward, finally resting where the fabric resumed.

 _What_.

* * *

_The cold night air did nothing to dampen the way Jennie’s gaze warmed her up when she walked out of her apartment building that night. Bundled up top with a thick wool jacket, Jisoo braved the almost freezing temperatures with a dress, her legs’ only shelter from the chill a sheer pair of tights. She almost felt silly being so dressed up, for spending so much time agonizing over her makeup, until she saw Jennie shivering against her car in a dress and jacket combo not dissimilar to her own._

_Unable to contain her smile, Jisoo walked up to the younger girl. “Hi,” she said, seeing her breath mist in the air in front of her face._

_“Hi,” Jennie responded softly, retrieving her hands from deep inside her pockets so she could pull Jisoo into a hug. “Get in, I’m freezing.”_

_The car ride was quiet, but Jisoo didn’t mind. She contented herself with the game of “Try to Look at Jennie Without Being Too Obvious,” for the fifteen minutes it took to arrive at the restaurant. She saw Jennie bite back a smile several times during the drive, and she knew she’d been far less subtle than she’d intended. Somewhere around halfway through, Jisoo stopped trying to hide it. Jennie’s cheeks were cute and round and red, and Jisoo wanted to look at them forever._

_When they parked, Jennie removed the keys from the ignition and turned to her companion. Her eyes were bright, and a brilliant smile spread across her face. “I meant to tell you earlier. You look beautiful tonight, Jisoo.”_

_Jisoo felt her own face flush at the compliment, looking down at her lap. “So do you.”_

_When she heard the door open instead of an answer, Jisoo looked up to see Jennie walking around the front of the car to open her door. The rush of cold air when the passenger door opened had nothing on the comforting hand that helped Jisoo out of the car. The hand that guided her into the restaurant and into the cozy table nestled in the corner of the dark, ambient space._

_Jisoo made it all the way through the initial perusal of menus and Jennie ordering their wine and appetizers before she started shifting in her seat, twisting the cloth napkin in her lap as she tried in vain to suppress the bubble of hope that was stubbornly rising in her chest._

_“Jichu?” Jennie’s voice made her look up, seeing those curious cat-eyes blinking back at her. “Is something wrong?”_

_At a loss for words, Jisoo shook her head from side to side, her mouth opening and closing. Jennie let her take her time, smiling at the waiter who deposited their wine on the table in the meantime. By the time Jennie’s eyes returned to hers, Jisoo all but blurted, “Is this a date?”_

_Jennie’s face colored, but her eyes never left Jisoo’s. “I said it was, didn’t I?”_

_“When?” Jisoo wracked her brain, but suddenly all memories left her mind as she focused on the fact that Jennie confirmed the nature of their dinner. Their dinner that was a_ date _._

_“When you said yes to dinner,” Jennie explained as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I said ‘great, it’s a date.’”_

_Jisoo’s eyes widened. She hadn’t realized Jennie meant that word seriously at the time. But she had, and they were on a date. They were on a date. They were on a date. No matter how many times Jisoo thought the words, it still didn’t feel real. Jennie’s brow furrowed in concern, doubt creeping into her voice as she asked, “Is it okay to be a date?”_

_“Yes,” Jisoo said immediately. Probably too quickly, she realized when Jennie chuckled, her eyes softening. Jisoo cleared her throat, trying to appear more composed. “I mean,” she started, unable to stop the smile breaking out onto her face, “yes, it’s very okay to be a date.”_

_Jennie grinned back at her and picked up her wine glass, extending it across the table in wait. Jisoo followed suit, clinking her glass softly against the other. “I feel like I almost tricked you into going out with me,” Jennie admitted after she took a sip, opting to keep her face buried in her glass as she looked up at Jisoo with her big, brown eyes._

_It was then that Jisoo registered just how nervous the other girl was, and the revelation made her shoulders relax. “No, I definitely got the date vibes,” she assured, “but I just wasn’t sure you were…you know.”_

_“Interested?” Jennie offered, her cheeks still stained red. Were they going to spend the whole night just blushing at each other? Probably. Jisoo nodded. They hadn’t talked about their love lives yet, but Jisoo had already banked on having yet another crush on a straight girl. To have Jennie sitting across from her, as redfaced and hopeful as she herself felt, was foreign to the waitress, to say the least. Jennie shook her head, bringing her hands to her face to cool it down. “I am.”_

_She directed the words toward the table, all while squishing her cheeks in the way Jisoo so wanted to. It was so incredibly endearing that Jisoo found her hands extending across the table and pulling the other girl’s wrists down. “I’m glad you are,” she admitted. She was half out of her seat in this position, but it was worth it when Jennie met her gaze. “I’m_ really _glad you are.”_

* * *

Jennie blinked at the digital proofs staring out at her from her laptop screen. Sent to her as a courtesy for designing one of the dresses, the pictures from the magazine cover shoot celebrating the best actresses in Korea seemed to mock her. Jisoo was front and center, her figure more than highlighted by the fitted dress Jennie designed. Her eyes were hooded and dark, as if they were trying (and succeeding) to seduce the readers just from that single look, her crimson lips slightly parted in a way that would drive everyone crazy. Jisoo looked phenomenal—but that wasn’t what was offending Jennie.

No, what was impossible for the designer to process was the way Jisoo was pressed so intimately against Sunmi, the two of them facing each other and lightly embracing each other. Jennie’s eyes zeroed in on Jisoo’s hand delicately wrapped around Sunmi’s upper arm, but that was _nothing_ compared to where Sunmi’s hands rested. The hand closest to the camera rested possessively on Jisoo’s hip, the smoldering gaze she was throwing to the lens making the embrace look like the photographer interrupted them. Jennie clicked the mouse, hating that she was torturing herself so much by zooming in on Sunmi’s _other_ hand, which was curled into the small of Jisoo’s back. Jisoo’s _bare_ back.

It didn’t matter that they were flanked by three other actresses. All Jennie could focus on Jisoo and Sunmi, and she knew that was the intent. The photographer and the magazine editor sent her these proofs with a none-too-subtle “Think of the _attention_ this will draw!”

Yes, Jennie knew this would garner unprecedented numbers of readers and new fans for Jisoo. This was a good shoot. As conservative as South Korea was, it was a universal fact that beautiful women acting suggestively with each other sold—and sold _well_. This was good for Jisoo’s career and for JK Designs.

But Jennie still wanted to throw up.

She clicked ahead in the portfolio to the solo shots of her brand ambassador. Unsurprisingly, they were stunning as well. There was one in particular, where Jisoo was climbing a staircase and turning back toward the camera, that sent shivers down her spine. The curve of her back and the cool, half-lidded gaze captured Jennie’s attention for the better part of a minute—until a knock at her door had her quickly closing the laptop altogether, as if she’d been caught looking at something inappropriate.

Throwing her laptop on the other end of the couch, Jennie unfolded herself and padded to the door, peeking through the peephole to see who was interrupting her night.

Lalisa Manoban’s distorted face smiled up at her, and Jennie opened the door to see the former idol dressed to the nines.

“What do you want?” Jennie demanded as she swung the door open, a stark contrast in her oversized cardigan and fuzzy socks.

Lisa looked Jennie up and down, shaking her head as she tutted, “No, no, this won’t do.” She breezed into the apartment and immediately made her way to Jennie’s bedroom. “It’s 7 p.m. on a Friday evening. You are not allowed to look like that on a Friday night.”

Rolling her eyes, Jennie didn’t try to fight the exasperated smile that came to her face. “I can look however I damn well please, Manoban.”

“I got invited to some fancy, underground art show tonight, and I need a date,” Lisa called from her bedroom. Jennie walked in her direction to see the model rifling through her closet.

“No takers on Tinder?” Jennie ducked the hanger that suddenly came flying in her direction. “Seriously, though, why me?”

Lisa stopped her search and fixed Jennie with an incredulous stare. “Because you’re in your granny clothes on a Friday night,” she said as if it was the most obvious fact in the world.

“Because until three seconds ago I had no plans.”

“Exactly.” Lisa dove back into Jennie’s closet. Jennie sighed, accepting she wasn’t going to get a straight answer out of the younger woman. A few seconds later, Lisa tossed her a dark green, sparkly long-sleeved minidress. “Wear this and your black blazer and a high bun, and hurry. We’ve gotta be there in an hour.”

“Gee, thanks for the notice,” Jennie grumbled as she shuffled to the bathroom to change, despite the fact that she actually didn’t mind the sudden change in her evening plans. She’d been consumed with nothing but work-related outings for weeks. Maybe a night out would be good for her.

* * *

“Tell me why I’m here again?” Jisoo asked as Rosé led her through the crowded gallery.

With a gentle squeeze of the hand, Rosé pulled Jisoo further into the room to show the sheer pedigree of the guests. “Because this is a who’s who of the entertainment industry,” she said into the actress’s ear. “You’re expected to be seen at these kinds of things now.”

Jisoo cast her gaze around the space, seeing publicists and agents mingling with executive producers, idols, actors, and artists alike. “I’m _expected_?”

Rosé rolled her eyes. “Of course, you are. You’re essentially an A-list celebrity now, Chu, better get used to it.” She accepted a pair of champagne glasses from a passing waiter and handed one to Jisoo. “Now that you’ve proven yourself, your jobs will more than likely come from networking events like this more often than from auditions.”

Taking a considering sip, Jisoo could see the shrewd wisdom in the singer’s words. “You’d have thought my manager would have told me that at some point.”

“Eh, what’s the use when 99% of the time, the actor never makes a splash?” Rosé shrugged. She looped her hand through the crook of Jisoo’s arm, guiding them to one of the canvases on the wall. “You’re just lucky to have such a smart, savvy friend in your corner.”

“Speaking of, where is Lisa?” Jisoo teased, earning herself a whack on the arm from the blonde. Catching the younger’s hand, Jisoo bowed—awkwardly, since their arms were still linked. “I’m only kidding. Of course, I am so grateful for my sage teacher, Chaeyoung.”

Sniffing, Rosé seemed to accept her apology, taking a sip of her drink instead of continuing to berate her companion. “As you should be.”

“So, _sensei_ ,” Jisoo effortlessly transitioned into her Japanese, “with whom shall we start networking?”

Rosé’s face lit up when her eyes alit on a certain tall, leggy model they both knew. “Speak of the devil,” she intoned as she guided Jisoo in her direction. “Might as well ease you in with some familiar faces.”

Familiar faces indeed. Jisoo turned her head, looking for whoever had her friend so excited, only to see a beaming Lisa walking toward them with a reserved Jennie Kim in tow. Reflexively, Jisoo scanned the woman up and down, unable to deny how intimidatingly attractive Jennie looked in her tight, dark green minidress hidden underneath an oversized blazer. With her hair piled up on top of her head in a messy bun and the black stilettos making her legs seem miles longer, Jisoo felt her mouth go dry. It’d been ages since she’d seen _this_ Jennie, and it made her need to wet her lips.

“ _There_ you are!” Lisa exclaimed, immediately dropping Jennie’s hand to drag Jisoo and Rosé into a firm hug. “Sorry we’re late, _someone_ took forever getting ready.”

“ _Some_ one only found out about this thing an hour ago,” Jennie cut in without any real heat in her voice. Jisoo’s eyes found hers, seeing the patient amusement in the designer’s face. “Hey, Jisoo,” she greeted.

With a start, Jisoo realized this was the first time in years that she felt no pain when looking at the other woman. What an effect a few weeks of working with Jennie could have, she mused internally. Jisoo smiled and responded in the same measured, casual manner. “Lisa does the same thing with me, too. It’s why I always agree to be Chaeyoung’s date first.”

Rosé scoffed. “That can _not_ be the only reason!” Lisa’s bubbly laughter drifted over the four of them as the blonde continued. “There are _many things_ about me that are preferable to Lalisa.”

“Ah, Chaeyoung, the girl who always gives you advanced notice,” Lisa hummed. “Now _that_ ’s sexy.”

Chuckling, Jisoo sipped her champagne and let the goodnatured bickering of her friends wash over her. With the whirlwind of meetings and schedules she’d had since the SBS awards, it felt nice to have a dose of normalcy—even if it was in the midst of a decidedly _not_ normal art show. Even _being_ at an art show was out of the ordinary for Jisoo, but she guessed her life was going to involve more different experiences like this soon.

While Lisa shouted across the room to another former idol, Jisoo watched Jennie’s cheeks darken as she buried her face in her champagne. “Subtlety really isn’t Lisa’s thing, is it?” the elder mused, prompting a surprised look from Jennie.

Jennie opened her mouth to answer, only to duck reflexively when Rosé seemingly recognized whoever Lisa was yelling and proceeded to raise her voice just as loudly. Equally out of reflex, Jisoo extended a hand to Jennie to steady the other woman. Jennie straightened almost immediately, her eyes darting up to meet Jisoo’s as a hand clutched the fabric over her heart. She cocked her head to the side, questions swimming in her gaze.

“You’re okay,” Jisoo said softly. She let her hand drop, and Jennie seemed to relax a little, taking a big swig of her champagne. “All good?”

Nodding, Jennie smiled appreciatively. “All good,” she confirmed before changing the subject. “I didn’t know you liked art shows.”

“I don’t,” Jisoo laughed, “or, well, I don’t know if I do or not. This is my first one.” She noticed the other two girls had floated away from them and looked around at the artwork. “Doesn’t look like very many people are looking at the pieces though.”

“I doubt they are,” Jennie said. She placed a soft palm on Jisoo’s upper arm, gently guiding her toward one of the exhibits. “Rich and powerful people really just like the excuse to socialize in esoteric settings like this. But every once in a while, I do find a piece I like.”

“Have you ever bought anything from these kinds of events?” Jisoo observed the woman beside her. She forgot Jennie grew up in these circles sometimes, that she’d be even more in tune with the intricacies of this world than even Rosé and Lisa were.

Jennie glanced in her direction with a soft smile. “Once or twice.” They paused in front of a black-and-white photograph of what looked to be the inner part of a spiral staircase. “Most of the time, though, the works are overly pretentious and overdone.”

“Have you ever done an exhibit of your own?”

The question clearly threw the designer, her hand falling from Jisoo’s arm as she stepped back to look at her fully. “Me?”

Jisoo nodded, genuine curiosity lacing her voice. “Your photography. You used to love taking pictures, and they were much better than this.” She gestured absently to the photos on the wall. “Did you ever think of showing them?”

Color rose to Jennie’s cheeks, her bright brown eyes staring unblinkingly at Jisoo for a few heartbeats. It wasn’t until the actress quirked a brow at her that she remembered she needed to answer. “Um, no, I’d never thought of that. It was just a hobby, after all.”

For some reason, the answer sent a wave of disappointment through Jisoo’s chest. Jennie had such a gift, and it was hard to watch her dismiss it so easily. “You should think about it. Your pictures were beautiful.”

“Well, most of my pictures were of _you,_ so of course they were,” Jennie said, clearly only registering her words _after_ they’d left her mouth.

The din of the party behind them seemed to grow louder as the two women stared at each other—Jennie, wondering if there was any way to take her words back, and Jisoo, at a loss for how to respond to such a frank reminder of their past relationship. For the second time that night, Jisoo waited for the usual gut-wrenching feeling to kick in. For the second time that night, it didn’t.

Was this…peace?

Before either of them could break the silence that had befallen them, they were interrupted by an event photographer asking them to pose. Obliging, the pair wrapped their arms around each other’s back, the warmth of Jennie’s hand sinking into Jisoo’s hip. As they smiled for the camera, Jisoo’s mind whirred with thoughts.

Was she finally over everything? Was this closure? Did she not care anymore? That didn’t feel right, not when the thought of not caring about Jennie anymore still made something in Jisoo’s heart ache. But…maybe seeing her again, seeing her flourishing in her career, engaged to be married in the summer if the rumors were to be believed…maybe that all helped Jisoo accept it. Maybe she was ready to move on. Was that what was happening?

Once the photographer left, he seemed to take the awkwardness with him. Jennie pointed to a redhaired woman in the crowd, her hand finding Jisoo’s arm again. “Come with me, there’s a couple of network execs you should meet.” Jisoo followed quietly, pensive and perhaps even a little sad. She couldn't help feeling like something ended tonight. 

* * *

_The whole night had Jennie’s heart beating like a hummingbird’s. Every time Jisoo smiled, Jennie felt lightheaded. Every time Jisoo cracked a lame joke, Jennie broke into peals of laughter. Every time Jisoo met her eyes, Jennie felt like she was falling so far, so quickly, but she didn’t care about the eventual landing. Jisoo’s eyes seemed to have endless depths, and Jennie would be happy to fall forever._

_The one—and Jennie truly could only think of one—failing of their night out to dinner was that they were seated opposite each other across the table. Jisoo was out of reach when all Jennie wanted to do was fiddle with the older girl’s hands or feel her warmth seeping into her legs as they scooted too close together. Aside from when Jisoo semi-stood up to pull her hands away from her face at the beginning of the night—her face coming so close that Jennie almost fainted then and there—there’d been no opportunity to touch one another._

She’s right, I really _am_ clingy _, she thought to herself. Her eyes darted across the table to see a delighted Jisoo scooping a bite of tiramisu into her mouth._ But only with her.

_“Jisoo-yah, you’re so far away,” Jennie pouted. She could always blame her forwardness on the wine._

_Jisoo smirked as soon as she swallowed her dessert, her cheeks tinting even in her bravado. “Jendeukie strikes again.” But she wordlessly pushed the plate toward Jennie and stood up from her side of the booth, choosing instead to scoot in right next to Jennie. As she sat back down, her knees knocking into Jennie’s while she retrieved her fork and leaned in for another bite, her light, flowery perfume invaded Jennie’s senses. “Hm, tastes better over here.”_

_Unable to suppress the laughter that sprang forth, Jennie knocked Jisoo’s shoulder with her own. She instantly felt better being able to do that. “Since when does location affect how a food tastes?”_

_“I don’t make the rules,” Jisoo shrugged and poked the sponge cake with her fork, smiling at her date out of the corner of her eye. “I guess you just make all my senses a little sharper.”_

_Heat rushed to Jennie’s cheeks faster than she thought possible, and the student maintained her focus on wrapping her fingers around Jisoo’s free hand, tugging it into her lap. “That was so corny,” she muttered, watching Jisoo’s slender fingers turn and stretch in response to her touch, finally settling intertwined with her own._

_“I think it worked though.” Jisoo’s voice was lower now, and it vibrated through Jennie all the way down to her toes. “Your face is bright red, and you won’t look at me.”_

_Scoffing, Jennie raised her head to retort—only to be stopped by Jisoo’s lips on hers._

_It lasted only a few seconds, but it was enough to stop the mad beating in Jennie’s chest. In fact, she thought she may have died altogether. Kissing Jisoo suffused her whole body with warmth. Jennie felt the hand in hers tighten when she woke up enough to start kissing back. The softness of Jisoo’s lips, the gentle insistence as they massaged against her own, the heat her kiss sent cascading through her body, all of it made Jennie dizzy._

_It was over too soon. Much too soon. Jennie felt her lips tug downward into a pout when Jisoo backed away. Jisoo’s shy smile quickly disappeared when she saw Jennie’s face. “Oh, no, did—I didn’t mean to—I thought you—”_

_Jennie cut her off with a kiss of her own, her hands coming up to the waitress’s neck and pulling her closer. “I_ did _,” Jennie assured her, panting more from the rush of excitement than from the actual kissing. Jisoo looked dazed, blinking slowly as Jennie continued. “I did_ not _appreciate you stopping.”_

_Relief washed over the elder girl, and she straightened, reaching up and removing Jennie’s hands from around her neck. Jennie’s eyes diligently tracked Jisoo’s tongue as it darted out to wet her lips. She so wanted to follow its path with her own. “Maybe we should go somewhere more private then?” Jisoo’s husky, half-whispered words sent Jennie eagerly asking for the check._


	6. Distractions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Squeezed in another chapter before the New Year! If you knew me, you'd know how impressive that is.

“So,” Jinyoung’s voice broke the silence of Jisoo’s morning coffee as he walked into her kitchen, “anything you feel like telling me?”

Jisoo looked up from her phone to see the actor leaning on her counter, his eyes boring into hers. “Um, good morning?”

With an exasperated eyeroll, Jinyoung looked down at his phone and slid it across the island for her to look at. It showed a Dispatch article about the art show, with several pictures of her dotted throughout it. The top picture showed Lisa, Rosé, Jennie, and herself, all smiling, arms intertwined. Lisa, in her typical fashion, was all but climbing on Rosé, who was leaning into Jisoo for support, while Jennie stood behind Jisoo, a chin resting on her shoulder and a hand looped around her waist. Jisoo looked at herself, seeing the laughter in her own face and remembering how comfortable she’d felt with the other girls that night. But she knew that wasn’t what Jinyoung was alluding to. “Oh, right, I saw Jennie last night.”

The sound of a hand hitting skin made Jisoo look up once again to see Jinyoung with a palm to his forehead. “She says so casually,” he mumbled. “You didn’t just _see_ Jennie last night. You _partied_ with Jennie last night, and there are at least three photos in that article with the two of you all _entangled_ with one another.”

“Entangled?” Jisoo repeated, unable to stifle a laugh. “We’re girls, Jinyoung. We touch each other.”

“What’s going on?” Jinyoung’s eyes narrowed. “Why are you so calm about this all of a sudden?”

Jisoo shrugged, sipping her coffee. “I don’t know. I think I just see her so much these days, it kind of desensitized me to everything,” she guessed. “Or I have finally gotten over it. Either way, it doesn’t hurt anymore.”

Jinyoung shook his head, worry entering his face even more so than before. “I’m not sure this is what ‘getting over it’ looks like.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean you should be careful,” he cautioned, “unless you want to have to feed Dispatch more suggestive pictures of us.”

Jisoo waved his words off with another chuckle. “We’re just friends, Jin. There’s nothing to worry about.” She scrolled through the article casually, knowing tabloids loved to revisit “scandals” in any remotely relevant article. Her instincts were spot on, and she slid the phone back to her friend. “They are still circulating that picture of us leaving the restaurant. No one is going to think twice about a girl hugging me.”

“Ah, yes, that picture that Jennie helped you get ready for,” Jinyoung said dryly.

Despite her previous words, Jisoo felt her cheeks heat up when she recalled that moment from a week ago. “You don’t seriously believe anything happened with Jennie in that bathroom, do you?” she asked. She couldn’t help but feel exhausted by their discussion. She wasn’t even dating Jinyoung for real, but she felt like she was defending herself about her ex to him anyway. 

A beat of silence passed, as if Jinyoung was deciding whether or not to say what he wanted to. “All I know is that you were distracted the whole way home, and no one goes from that to ‘over’ someone in just a week.”

A small, high-pitched beep sounded from Jisoo’s phone, and she looked down at the screen. She knew Jinyoung wanted to continue this conversation, but the name that just popped up on her screen completely distracted her. “Um, Lee Sunmi just texted me?”

* * *

_Jisoo was distracted the entire next day at work. Thankfully, serving coffee did not require too much of her mental capacity to do well, but it still took her boss calling her name a few times to get her attention._

_“I think the counter is clean enough, Jisoo,” he said not unkindly. Jisoo blushed, hiding the rag behind her back. “How about you go take your break?” His eyes looked behind her, and Jisoo turned to see Jennie settling in on her couch. Her cheeks grew even brighter pink. Her boss was too perceptive for his own good._

_With a hurried bow, Jisoo deposited the dish rag in a bin below the counter and took off her apron. She made her way over to Jennie, making sure to stay out of her line of sight._

_“Ta da!” she said when she reached, holding a cupcake under the student’s nose to get her attention._

_Jennie jumped so high she almost knocked the latte Jisoo was also holding out of her hands. It was only Jisoo’s quick reflexes that kept her from having a scalding hot bath. “I’m so sorry!” Jennie said as soon as she turned around and saw who it was. Her eyes were as wide as they could go, darting all over Jisoo to make sure she was okay. “Did I hurt you?”_

_“No, no, I’m fine,” Jisoo assured her, holding the latte and the plate with the cupcake out in either hand. “You’re lucky I’m such a great waitress.” Gingerly, she extended both to Jennie the way she would a hand to a newly adopted kitten, waiting for her to deem it safe enough to get closer. “Are_ you _okay?”_

_Blushing, Jennie bowed in thanks and retrieved the food and beverage. “Yes, thank you.” She quickly turned back around to take a seat, cupcake on her lap and face in her new drink._

_Jisoo rounded the couch and sat next to the younger girl. “I scared you,” she said. Jennie sipped slowly, avoiding Jisoo’s gaze. “You startle easily.” Jennie blinked several times before taking yet another gulp. In the span of a few seconds, she’d already drained half the cup. “I’m sorry,” Jisoo apologized, her hand going to Jennie’s knee. “I won’t do that again.”_

_Jennie finally met her eyes, the tension tightening the skin around them starting to fade. “I didn’t mean to freak out on you.” Her voice sounded so much smaller than normal, and her cheeks puffed out as she pouted. “I just don’t do well with sudden surprises.”_

_Jisoo lost her battle with Jennie’s cheeks, a finger going up to poke one as if drawn by a magnet. “Well, it isn’t a surprise if it isn’t sudden, Jendeukie.” She kept her voice light and smoothed a thumb over the skin she’d poked, enjoying the way the other girl seemed to relax as she did. “But noted: don’t surprise Jennie Kim.”_

_Dropping her gaze to her lap, a shy smile bloomed on her face. “Thank you for the cupcake.” She swiped a finger through the icing and placed it in her mouth, her eyes narrowing as she grinned around her finger. “Strawberry!”_

_The sight of Jennie’s lips wrapped around her finger consumed all of Jisoo’s focus. Her eyes zeroed in on the younger’s mouth even as she continued their conversation. “You mentioned you liked strawberry the other night.”_

_“Jisoo.” Her name went unnoticed by the waitress as her mind started to think of possible private places to drag Jennie to continue where they’d left off on their date. “Jisoo.” The storage closet? No, her boss already had his suspicions about them. He’d be paying attention. “Jisoo!”_

_Jisoo gave a start, her eyes finally refocusing on Jennie’s. “What?”_

_“Distracted?” Jennie smirked, scooping up another dollop of frosting. Her smirk widened when Jisoo’s eyes once again followed that finger on its path into Jennie’s mouth._

_“You’re doing that on purpose,” Jisoo said, her voice huskier than usual. Her hand tightened on Jennie’s knee to keep from reaching for her._

_“Maybe,” the other girl hummed._

_“That’s mean. You’re being mean.”_

_Laughing, Jennie relented and tugged out her finger with a faint pop. “Okay, I’ll behave,” she said and used said finger to tap Jisoo’s nose. “I’m just still thinking about our date.”_

_Jisoo nodded, feeling like she could control her own hormones once again. “I’d like to have another one soon, please,” she responded, sending Jennie into a fit of giggles._

_“It was just last night.”_

_“Yes, but I want another one,” Jisoo said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. She looked down from Jennie’s beaming face to her watch. Drat, only a couple minutes left in her break. “Come over to my place tonight? I’ll make dinner.”_

* * *

While Jisoo sat in the makeup chair, feeling her hair getting tugged from one direction or another, she stared at her phone in astonishment. No matter how many times she read the conversation, she couldn’t register its contents.

 **Sunmi** (9:26 AM): Hey, lady.

 **Jisoo** (9:28 AM): Hey!

Jisoo wanted to slap herself even now at her completely useless reply, but in her defense, what else was she supposed to say when Lee Sunmi texts her out of the blue?

 **Sunmi** (9:29 AM): I’m happy we met the other day, but so bummed we didn’t have more downtime to hang out at the shoot ☹️

 **Jisoo** (9:33 AM): Oh, yeah, it was really busy that day. Barely had a second to rest between takes.

 **Jisoo** (9:34 AM): But I guess that’s how it goes sometimes. I’m actually heading to another shoot now, hoping it’s a little more chill.

 **Sunmi** (9:35 AM): Busy little bee. What’s this shoot for?

 **Jisoo** (9:36 AM): My new endorsement. Shooting some of the still ads today.

 **Sunmi** (9:39 AM): Oh, right, JK Designs? You looked amazing in their dress for the magazine cover.

Jisoo’d spent the entirety of the ride to the studio trying to understand where this conversation was going. When they finally reached, Jisoo had to pocket her phone before responding to Sunmi’s compliment—not that she really knew what to say to that. She felt her pocket buzzing another time while she was ushered to the dressing room. It wasn’t until she was in her first outfit, sitting in hair and makeup before she’d gotten a chance to look at her phone again.

 **Sunmi** (9:40 AM): Can’t wait to see what else they put you in. I’m sure you’ll be 🔥 🔥🔥.

 **Jisoo** (9:52 AM): Omg 🙈.

 **Sunmi** (9:54 AM): When is your shoot until?

 **Jisoo** (9:55 AM): I think we’re only doing 3 looks today, so should be done some time around 4 or 5. Why?

 **Sunmi** (9:58 AM): My friend just opened up a new restaurant, supposed to be pretty cool. He invited me to the opening tonight and said I could bring someone. Interested?

Regardless of how much Jisoo kept swiping up on her screen, a suitable reply did not magically materialize at the bottom of the chat. She felt the stylist pile half her hair on her head and start working on the bottom curls, so she knew she had at least another hour before she had to be on camera.

Another hour to figure out how to respond to Lee Sunmi, the actress who may or may not have just asked her out.

Closing the chat, she opened Jinyoung’s instead. She’d call him if she could, but alas, stylists had ears—and worse, mouths.

 **Jisoo** (10:04 AM): SOS. SOS. SOS. SOS.

 **Jisoo** (10:04 AM): 🆘🆘🆘

 **Jinyoung** (10:05 AM): What’s up?!

 **Jisoo** (10:06 AM): Were you asleep? 🤨

 **Jinyoung** (10:06 AM): I literally saw you an hour ago.

 **Jisoo** (10:07 AM): But you took so long to reply.

 **Jinyoung** (10:07 AM): Bitch, I took less than a minute.

 **Jinyoung** (10:08 AM): Are you gonna tell me what’s got you sounding the alarms

 **Jisoo** (10:09 AM): I think Sunmi is hitting on me.

 **Jinyoung** (10:09 AM): WHAT.

 **Jisoo** (10:10 AM): She’s asking me to her friend’s restaurant opening tonight?? She said we didn’t get enough time to hang out at the shoot the other day.

 **Jisoo** (10:11 AM): Omg, and I just remembered she totally felt me up at the shoot. 😳

 **Jinyoung** (10:11 AM): SHE DID WHAT.

 **Jinyoung** (10:12 AM): KIM JISOO DID YOU REALLY FORGET TO TELL ME THAT LEE SUNMI FELT YOU UP THREE WHOLE DAYS AGO.

 **Jinyoung** (10:12 AM): 😡😡😡

 **Jisoo** (10:13 AM): I thought I was just imagining it, but now??? I don’t know!!

 **Jisoo** (10:13 AM): Fuck, Jin, what do I tell her! It’s been 15 minutes since she texted! 😩

 **Jinyoung** (10:14 AM): You just dropped a whole lotta shit on me in the last five minutes. Give a guy a second to process that one of the hottest actresses in Korea is into you.

 **Jinyoung** (10:15 AM): Heh heh, so many guys will be so disappointed if you get married. Between you and Sunmi, you’ll break the hearts of half the men in Korea.

 **Jisoo** (10:15 AM): JIN. FOCUS.

 **Jisoo** (10:16 AM): And wtf do you mean if we get married? I’m just trying to figure out what the hell to do about dinner!

 **Jinyoung** (10:17 AM): I say go for it. I’ve never seen you freak out like this. It’s fun.

“You’re so focused on that phone of yours, Miss Kim,” her stylist observed as she walked around to work on the layers around Jisoo’s face. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah, just Jinyoung giving me a hard time as always,” Jisoo said, smiling up at the kind but ever-focused eyes of the older woman doing her hair. “Hey, Eun, how long do you think these curls will keep?”

Eun regarded her carefully. “Your hair is very healthy, which is good, but also means it doesn’t hold curls all that well. I could always throw in some extra hair spray if you have something after this.”

Jisoo nodded, hardly believing what she was about to say. “Could you, please? I have a restaurant opening to attend tonight.”

“Of course.”

As she settled back into the chair, feeling the locks around her face being lifted and twirled around the curling iron, Jisoo’s gaze returned to her phone. With a deep breath, she clicked on Sunmi’s name.

 **Jisoo** (10:19 AM): Hey, sorry, got called away. That sounds fun! Do I need to wear any particular attire?

Almost immediately, Sunmi responded with a few happy emojis and the details of the opening. Her heart was rattling around in her chest like there was nothing keeping it in place, and it was making her feel slightly nauseous. Did she really just accept a date with Sunmi while she was getting ready for a photoshoot for her ex-girlfriend’s fashion line?

Sighing, she closed her eyes. The day barely started, and she was already so tired.

* * *

Walking into the studio, Jennie quickly found her brand ambassador in hair and makeup, a mess of curls piled onto her head while the stylist pressed powder onto the actress’s face.

“You look pensive,” she said, announcing her presence to both of them.

Jisoo’s eyes opened and she turned just enough so she could see Jennie out of the corner of her eye, not wanting to interfere with the makeup application. “Oh, hey, I didn’t know you’d be here today.” Jisoo’s voice sounded…off to Jennie. Distracted.

“Just thought I’d come wish you luck and watch the first couple of shots,” Jennie said, pulling up a chair to take a seat in Jisoo’s line of sight. “Everything okay?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t it be?” Maybe it was just because she had to keep her mouth as still as possible while Eun applied lipstick that her voice sounded stiff, but Jennie had a hard time believing her.

“No reason, you just look a little tense.” Jennie tugged her bottom lip between her teeth, not knowing how far she was allowed to push their tenuous friendship. The real reason she’d come after all was because she felt as if something shifted in their relationship last night at the party. Something between them had relaxed, and it made Jennie wonder if maybe this meant Jisoo was no longer angry at her. But seeing how serious Jisoo looked right then, maybe Jennie got it wrong.

She heard a sigh come from the other woman, and she looked up to see Jisoo’s eyes fixed on her. Eun stood to the side cleaning her brushes, giving Jisoo the freedom to fully face the designer. “I’ve just got a lot on my mind is all. Everything’s okay, I promise.”

“I had fun last night,” Jennie blurted before she could stop herself. Jisoo’s eyebrows went up just a little, but it was enough to make Jennie’s face grow warm. “Hanging out with you and everyone else, I mean.”

A small smile made its way onto Jisoo’s face, and her eyes seemed to brighten just a little bit. “I did, too.”

“Maybe we could all hang out again sometime,” Jennie suggested, scrutinizing every part of Jisoo’s face to judge her reaction. “You know, as friends.”

She ignored the curious eyes of Jisoo’s stylist, focused as she was on Jisoo herself. As the elder closed her eyes for more makeup, she said four words that made the fist around Jennie’s heart unclench.

“Friends would be nice.”

* * *

_Jennie could hardly wait for Jisoo to open the door before she all but tackled the older girl. Slamming the door shut, Jennie pushed Jisoo up against it, eager to feel her lips once again. “Hello,” Jennie whispered, her breath ghosting across Jisoo’s face. “I’ve missed you.”_

_“It’s been four hours, Jendeukie,” Jisoo laughed. She quickly composed herself when she saw Jennie’s pout, however. “But I missed you, too.” Her hands came up to rest on the small of Jennie’s back. “So are you going to just keep talking or are you going to kiss me sometime before our dinner’s burnt to a crisp?”_

_Needing no more encouragement, Jennie dove in, capturing Jisoo’s lips. Her eyes slid closed as she felt Jisoo push forward into the kiss. Her fingers dug into Jennie’s back, and Jennie slipped her arms around Jisoo’s neck in turn, bringing her impossibly closer. Tilting her head to the side, she couldn’t help the smirk that quirked her lips upward when she felt Jisoo’s soft moan as she deepened the kiss._

_A soft chime of an oven timer rang through the apartment, and the pair finally separated. Panting, Jennie grinned at the dazed look in her date’s eyes. “I’ve wanted to do that since yesterday.”_

_“We_ did _do that yesterday.” Jisoo’s low voice sent shivers running down Jennie’s spine. “But…same.” Jisoo’s hand trailed up and down Jennie’s arm. Jennie swore that if she looked down at her arm right then, she’d see tiny sparks flying from Jisoo’s fingertips. “I want to keep doing that, but dinner really_ will _burn if I don’t take it out of the oven.”_

* * *

As Jisoo walked out of the dressing room, now freshly changed into her second look, Eun stood waiting by the makeup counter to make the necessary adjustments to her hair. The fine lines around the older woman’s eyes crinkled as she prepared herself to say something to Jisoo.

“Did you need something, Eun?” Jisoo asked, peering at her stylist in the mirror.

“I don’t mean to pry.” But Jisoo could tell she was all but bursting with questions, judging by the way her eyes kept darting to Jisoo’s in the reflection and then quickly leaving.

“Yes?”

“It seemed like you knew Ms. Kim,” Eun led as she twisted Jisoo’s curls into a loose side braid.

“We have a few mutual friends,” Jisoo said carefully, not wanting to be rude to the woman so diligently working to make her beautiful. “We both ended up at the same event last night.”

“Ah,” Eun trailed off, focusing on pinning Jisoo’s bangs just so. A few beats later, she spoke up again. “At the risk of sounding too nosy, it felt like there was a little more baggage there.”

Jisoo forced her breathing to stay even, ignoring her body’s urge to tense up at the insinuation. She’d gotten good at that over the years. “You could say we had somewhat of a rocky start,” she said with a shallow laugh. “But it was nice getting to know her more outside of work, so I think that part is behind us.”

“That’s good,” Eun said, seemingly relaxed. “Because I’ve worked on about a dozen of JK Designs’ shoots, and the few times I’ve seen Jennie Kim in person, I’ve never seen that girl have so many facial expressions as she did today.”

Jisoo’s eyebrows disappeared into her hairline. “What do you mean? Jennie’s always terrible at hiding her feelings.”

Eun chuckled, and Jisoo bit the inside of her cheek when she realized her slip up. She wasn’t supposed to know that if she was a _new_ friend. “Maybe to you. She’s known to be rather intimidating to the rest of us.”

_“Most other people would think you’re lying. Everyone at school thinks I’m a bitch.”_

The memory rose up unbidden, and with it a flood of guilt. She could see how nervous Jennie was this morning. She’d noticed the way Jennie seemed to tiptoe around her, testing the waters. She remembered last night, when Jennie’s hand somehow found a way to be touching Jisoo in some way or another. When Jennie curled herself up against her for pictures, and when she opened up and started telling Jisoo of some of her more memorable society event blunders.

She remembered not minding Jennie’s touches, enjoying her stories, leaning into her for the pictures.

Now, Jennie’s sudden appearance at the shoot made more sense. She was confused by Jisoo’s shift in behavior last night. Since that night in the restaurant bathroom the week prior, Jisoo had all but outright avoided Jennie, asking her manager to make all the arrangements for the shoot today for her. Jennie had probably expected her to do the same thing today.

No, Jisoo hadn’t avoided her this time. She’d done something much, much worse.

She’d agreed to go on a date with someone else. And Jennie would probably see it on Dispatch tomorrow.

 _Kim Jisoo, you did_ not _think this through_ , she chided herself. _Just because you_ may _be moving on doesn’t mean you need to rub it in her face_. She felt even guiltier when she thought about Sunmi. _Lee Sunmi_. Jinyoung had it right—one of the hottest actresses in Korea, and she was interested in _Jisoo_. Maybe. Maybe this was all just a big misunderstanding anyway. After all, no one in the industry aside from Jinyoung and Jennie knew she was gay. Maybe Sunmi really just wanted to be her friend. But, try as she might, Jisoo couldn’t convince herself of that, not when she remembered the way Sunmi’s hand wandered on her back at the cover shoot.

Jisoo worried the inside of her cheek, staring into space as Eun did the final touches on her hair. She couldn’t even tell if she _wanted_ tonight to be a date. _But why shouldn’t I date? It’s been three years. Don’t I deserve to get back out there?_

“Ugh, I’m starting to get a headache,” she mumbled, wishing she could run her hands through her perfectly done hair. “Eun, you don’t happen to have any ibuprofen, do you?”

* * *

“You’re in a good mood.” Kai’s voice broke Jennie out of her reverie as they walked to the wedding planner’s office.

Jennie grinned at her fiancé and shrugged. “Lisa dragged me out last night, and it was actually pretty fun.”

“Oh, yeah, I saw the pictures. Wasn’t the girl with you that actress representing JK?”

“Kim Jisoo, yeah, you met her at the SBS after-party,” Jennie said, looking forward and hoping the pink in her cheeks could be attributed to the winter chill. “She’s cool. We’re friends now.”

Kai merely hummed in response, prompting Jennie to sneak a glance at him. He stared forward with practiced nonchalance. “I’ve never seen you get so giddy over a new friend.” His face darkened a bit. “Actually, yes I have.”

Jennie almost stumbled at the look on his face, knowing he was thinking about her time in grad school, when she couldn’t stop gushing about a girl she’d just met. She prayed he didn’t remember her name. “It’s not like that,” she insisted, looping her arm in the crook of his elbow. “It’s just nice to have more friends I like. It’s been ages since I got to unwind like that.”

“As long as it _stays_ not like that, Jennie,” Kai cautioned. “We are literally walking to plan our wedding that we still haven’t found a way around. Let’s not make everything messier by getting caught having affairs.”

“I know,” Jennie sighed, her good mood decidedly muted now. “It would definitely blow things up between our families.”

“And businesses.”

Jennie winced, remembering Kai was in PR. It would not do for her to piss off his parents. “So are we really just going through with this thing? To avoid the mess?”

“I want to say hell no, but I realize that may be insulting,” Kai replied, nudging Jennie when she pouted. “But maybe let’s have a _not_ -wedding planning session after our wedding planning session, see if it’s possible to cancel this without it going sideways.”

* * *

The restaurant opening turned out to be a much bigger affair than Jisoo interpreted from Sunmi’s texts. As she stepped out of the car, she was suddenly grateful she’d kept her hair and makeup from the photoshoot. Sunmi climbed out after her, her dazzling smile already spurring a flurry of camera flashes. Jisoo took in her companion’s ensemble now that she wasn’t curled up in the backseat of a car. Sunmi’s shoulder length hair brushed a crisp, white, textured v-neck, which was tucked neatly into a black leather skirt. Paired with her black ankle boots and signature red lips, she’d perfected the art of “high society casual” wear.

Jisoo fingered her black slacks, feeling a bit plain in her sensible, weather-appropriate gray trench coat. “I really need to realize that your definition of casual and my definition of casual are two very different things,” she said as Sunmi took hold of her hand to get in line for pictures.

“Nonsense, you’re dressed perfectly,” Sunmi responded, leaning down to Jisoo’s ear, a hand covering her mouth so the cameras wouldn’t catch what she said. “It’s better that you’re dressed more down-to-earth. People can be vicious to new actresses who look like they get too comfortable with their success too quickly.”

 _Why is everyone mentoring me all of a sudden?_ Jisoo chose not to voice that particular question out loud, knowing she really _did_ have a lot left to learn about the industry. “Did that happen to you?”

“Not me.” Sunmi shook her head. “A friend of mine from my first movie. She was going to be the breakout star of the season, but she got this completely incorrect reputation for being a snob and people didn’t think she’d done enough to have that kind of attitude.” The party ahead of them finished their pictures, and Sunmi pulled Jisoo onto the carpet to pose. “She got so much online hate she ended up leaving acting and became a producer instead.”

Jisoo’s eyes widened slightly and wrapped her arm around Sunmi’s back automatically, smiling for the camera. “Well, then I’m glad I’m underdressed?”

Sunmi turned her head to Jisoo, seemingly uncaring of the cameras as she blatantly scanned her eyes up and down the younger actress’s body. Jisoo felt her face heat up at the open perusal, knowing one of those flashing cameras more than likely caught that. “Like I said, you look perfect,” she whispered with a wink before she pulled Jisoo off the carpet and into the relative quiet of the restaurant.

Letting herself be ushered along, Jisoo tried to tamp down her galloping heartbeat. Sunmi was focused on the maître-d’, leaving Jisoo plenty of space to replay the last ten seconds—featuring an undoubtedly smoldering gaze from the taller woman—in her mind again and again. She was sure now. Sunmi was officially and 100% hitting on her.

As the pair settled into their high-top table, Jisoo took a moment to remind herself to loosen up. Just because her idol was interested in her did _not_ mean she had to lose her cool. She could be a normal human. Her eyes flitted over to the other woman—the drop-dead gorgeous other woman. _God, it has been so long_ , she found herself thinking, finally acknowledging the small sparks of attraction dancing in her stomach. _Why am I hesitating?_ “So is your friend a good cook? I feel like I should have asked that before agreeing to come tonight,” she teased, her slight smile coupled with a quick quirk of her eyebrow.

Sunmi’s eyes twinkled with amusement, and she leaned in, resting her elbows on the table. “He’s a lovable egomaniac, and yes, his food is almost illegally good.” She took a sip of her water. “I’m glad you came tonight.”

“I’m glad you asked me,” Jisoo replied as she dropped her gaze to the table, unable to keep eye contact with Sunmi when her eyes were so insistent. She hadn’t had anyone look at her like that in so long, and it was pointless to try to contain the dopey smile it caused. “I’ve got to admit, I was a bit of a fangirl over you before.”

Laughter lit up Sunmi’s face, and Jisoo was surprised to see a faint tinge of pink to the elder woman’s face that wasn’t there before. “Oh, no, how long before?”

“If you’re asking if I saw your videos from your idol group days, the answer is yes,” Jisoo smirked. She remembered being 16, watching a 19-year-old Sunmi dancing and singing in earnest in every variation of a schoolgirl outfit available. She also remembered being unreasonably fascinated by her and the rest of the group, years before she would discover why.

Sunmi buried her face in her hands. “I want to burn those videos.”

“Don’t you dare. You were so cute in them.” Despite the fact that Jisoo hadn’t well and truly flirted in almost four years, she realized she was still not bad at it, if the way Sunmi was looking at her was anything to go by.

“You’re lucky you came up after growing up as a normal person,” Sunmi said. “I basically went through puberty in the public eye, and you’re getting to just pop out a fully developed, well-adjusted woman.”

“I never thought about it like that.” Jisoo thanked the waiter as he brought around the appetizers, which appeared to be a ceviche of some sort. “I never said I was well-adjusted, though,” she said as she popped a bite of fish into her mouth. She couldn’t suppress the happy sound that left her mouth as the light, citrusy flavor hit her taste buds. “Okay, your egotistical boyfriend is amazing, and I’d like to steal him to be my personal chef.”

Sunmi stuck her fork into the ceviche as well, her voice low as she answered, “He’s definitely not my boyfriend, and I told you his food would be good.” She looked up at Jisoo with her eyebrows raised as if her silent question of “ _Get the picture?_ ” would transmit telepathically.

Jisoo got the picture quite clearly, and she felt herself relax just a little more. This was definitely a date, and that wasn’t sending her into a blind panic anymore. In fact, maybe she was even enjoying herself.

* * *

_The remnants of dinner lay abandoned on the dinner table. Jisoo sighed at the feeling of Jennie nestled into the couch with her, one small hand wrapped around her waist to keep her from falling off. The movie they’d started played quietly in the background, forgotten._

_“Your turn,” Jennie’s light voice prompted. Jisoo felt the other girl’s fingers stroking the small of her back absentmindedly, sending quiet butterflies fluttering throughout her body._

_Jisoo closed her eyes as she thought of her next question. “Hmmm, marshmallows or pudding?”_

_She felt Jennie shaking her head as she suppressed a giggle. “You ask the most childish questions,” the brunette observed, but when Jisoo opened her eyes, she saw no hint of annoyance in the other girl’s face. “Marshmallows.” Jennie leaned forward and placed a feather-light kiss on Jisoo’s cheekbone. “Cooking or cleaning?”_

_“Planning out our household chores already?” Jisoo grinned, her hand coming to rest on a now-pink, rounded cheek. Even though she hadn’t answered the question yet, she moved closer so she could kiss it. She didn’t back up yet, choosing to let their noses bump into each other while she gave her answer. “I don’t mind doing either, but I hate doing them alone.”_

_“Then I guess we’ll just have to split the work 50-50,” Jennie said simply. Her eyes gazed up at Jisoo as if she was picturing their future right then. Jisoo swept her thumb back and forth on her face, drinking that expression in. The idea of her ever having that kind of domestic happiness with a girl as amazing as Jennie never entered her wildest dreams. Making it as an actress had felt more realistic. “What are you thinking?” Jennie’s hand nudged her back to the present._

_Jisoo leaned in and sealed her lips over Jennie’s. She felt eyelashes brushing her face as the other girl’s eyes fluttered closed, and she let herself be tugged even closer so that she was halfway on top of Jennie. Pulling away, she went back in for another peck before she finally looked back down at the girl consuming her mind. “I’m thinking I’m really happy right now.”_

* * *

Jennie curled up under her comforter with Kuma and Kai (the canine version) snuggled with her. After an exhausting day making innumerable decisions for a wedding she actively hoped to avoid, followed by throwing out plan after plan for avoiding said wedding, the quiet of her apartment was a solace she desperately needed.

“We’ll figure something out, right, Kuma? Kai?”

Her puppies affixed her with their clueless stares before taking turns nuzzling into her chest.

“Jisoo and I are friends again,” she told them as if they’d understand her or care. It wasn’t like she could talk to Lisa or Rosé about this anyway. “Although can I really say 'again' when we didn’t really do the friend thing in the first place?”

Kuma barked softly, nipping at one of her fingers. “I know, I need to be careful,” she sighed. “I just…still really love being around her.” Another nip. “Yes, I know that’s bad.” Nip. “I’m fully aware of Kai.”

The lighter dog lifted his head at hearing his name, tilting one ear up curiously. Jennie reached out and stroked his head to settle him back down, bending just far enough to deposit a kiss on his soft fur. “Not you, baby. Your mama has gotten herself into a stupid situation is all. Human You gets it. Well, he doesn’t know _all_ of it. He doesn’t know she’s the same girl.” Kai burrowed his head into her hand, encouraging her to keep petting him. “Is it crazy that I still wonder if there’s some way Jisoo and I could be together again?”

Kai settled back onto his paws, his eyes looking forlornly up at her. Kuma nipped her fingers halfheartedly one last time before he started to softly snore against her chest.


	7. Confessions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally never update this quickly, but I have had a lot of feelings about this story and wanted to get them down. Also this is my vacation and probably the only time I'll have so much free time to write for a while. Enjoy!!

_As Christmas approached, Jennie could not have dreaded going home more. Usually, the holidays were a formal affair for the Kims, complete with an obligatory company party where she’d end up sneaking off with Kai and a bottle of champagne. They’d spend the rest of the night catching up on each other’s lives and taking turns judging the guests’ outfits. She enjoyed that part of her holiday tradition, the part where she got to be herself with her one friend who knew exactly what her life was like._

_But now, going home meant not spending the holidays with Jisoo. Jennie stepped down from her step ladder, finally done decorating Jisoo’s apartment with warm, cheerful lights and stockings. As she picked up the homemade paper snowflakes, she headed over to the doors and windows, taping them everywhere she could reach. She didn’t want Jisoo to spend the holidays alone. She didn’t want to leave Jisoo here for two weeks without something to make her smile._

_She hung a snowflake next to her picture of her family. Jennie stared at the frame for a few seconds, envious of her newly minted girlfriend for her close relationship with her parents and siblings. Jennie’d always wanted a sister, someone who could have been in her corner with her growing up. Even just from the picture itself, Jennie could tell Jisoo grew up knowing without a doubt she was loved, and she was probably told that every night before bed._

_Jennie felt a little silly, looking at that photo, snowflakes in hand in an effort to make sure Jisoo wouldn’t be lonely over the holidays. Jisoo probably would be fine. Jennie grew up needing to infer her parents’ love for her through their actions. She liked having concrete reminders of affection in her life, and so she spent two hours cutting snowflakes. Jisoo probably knew in her bones she was never alone, and so how could she possibly be lonely?_

_The sound of the front door opening interrupted Jennie’s musings. She turned around just in time to see Jisoo raise her head from pulling her keys out of the knob. The way Jisoo’s face lit up at the decorations erased any doubt from Jennie’s mind. She wanted to keep getting Jisoo to make that face._

* * *

Despite the well-intentioned gentle sounds of birds chirping meant to serve as a peaceful alarm, Jennie almost knocked her phone off the nightstand in her efforts to silence those gentle chirps. With a huff, she rolled over onto her back and glared at the barely even sliver of light visible from her window. She hated Mondays. They always felt so much worse when she only got one day off for the weekend, which was all too often.

 _Why is winter so damn dark and depressing_ , she thought to herself. She’d give anything to wake up to sunlight again instead of the unrelenting pitch-black darkness at 6 a.m. These days it was becoming increasingly hard to will herself out of bed, especially when the night before seemed to always be filled with dreams of when winter was her favorite season.

She shook the memories off, bringing up her hands to lightly slap her cheeks and wake herself up. She tumbled out of bed, unable to suppress the jaw-cracking yawn that escaped her as she did so. She needed to find a way to dream about something else at night. Even if she _was_ friends with Jisoo now, she didn’t need to cloud matters by re-living the past. Besides, she needed some _sleep_ , damn it. 

She was halfway through brushing her teeth when her phone vibrated. Her eyebrows rose at the dozens of notifications in her email. She’d made a habit of putting her brand ambassadors on a search alert, just in case they needed to change directions if the spokesperson had a personal scandal. Her assistant usually was the one to scan through them, only forwarding Jennie the important developments getting a lot of attention. She now had at least four alerts related to Jisoo.

She lowered her toothbrush, spit out her toothpaste into the sink, and quickly sat on the edge of her bathtub. The worst scenarios raced through her mind—well, just one: that Jisoo was outed. That somehow old pictures or people from all those years ago came to light, and someone put two and two together. That this could end Jisoo’s promising career just as she was starting to make her mark. _Fuck_.

With a shaky finger, she opened the first email.

 **_Falling for Snowdrops:_ ** _Actress Kim Jisoo has been racking up her list of top-profile friends this weekend. She was seen enjoying a girl’s night at the Legends Art Show Friday night with the likes of singer Park Chaeyoung (aka Rosé), model Lalisa Manoban, and designer executive Jennie Kim, for whom Jisoo is also a new brand ambassador. As if that were not a star-studded enough contact list, Jisoo was spotted with Lee Sunmi at Park Ji-hoon’s restaurant opening the following night. The pair, 28 and 31, respectively, recently crossed paths for Elle Magazine’s ‘Top Actresses in Korea’ issue, and they appeared to be fast friends. Sunmi looked downright enamored with the promising young actress. Could this be the beginning of a beautiful friendship? We sure hope so!_

The picture that followed the blurb said so much more than the few sentences could. Jennie felt the blood rushing in her ears as she took it all in: Sunmi, holding Jisoo almost flush against her body, one red lip pulled up between pearly white teeth and dark eyes wholly focused on the shorter woman; Jisoo, with the faintest blush visible across the bridge of her nose, looking up at Sunmi in wide-eyed surprise. Their outfits even seemed to have the same color scheme.

That was not a _friendly_ look. As if to mock her, the photo was immediately followed by the group photo from the art show, where Jennie was all but wrapped around Jisoo. She closed the window quickly.

Heart pounding, she clicked on the next email from a listicle site known for constantly courting the line between a celebrity gossip rag and an all-out fansite.

 ** _We get it, Sunmi_ : ** _Lee Sunmi and Kim Jisoo’s Night on the Town! Two of the most beautiful actresses in Korea were seen snuggled up together Saturday night. Not only is this now viral picture going to be fodder for fans for years to come, but sources who also dined in the restaurant commented on how close they seemed at dinner._

_“Sunmi looked like she was hanging off Jisoo’s every word,” an employee who requested to remain anonymous said. “Seeing Kim Jisoo’s smile up close like that though, I get it. I almost dropped my tray when she laughed at something Sunmi said.”_

_We all get it, Sunmi, you lucky girl, you._

Jennie scrolled past the picture, not wanting to subject herself to seeing it again, and went right to the comments section. Her own shattering heart aside, she needed to see how people were reacting.

 _Jisoostan81_ : _Omg so cute!! I thought she was with Jinyoung tho…?_

_Kpopizmylife: Is it just me or does Sunmi look a little thirsty in that photo?_

_MiSunandStars: @Kpopizmylife she totally does! Ngl, they’re kinda cute together. #SunSoo??_

_Landrops92: @Jisoostan81 I thought so, too! She and Jinyoung seem so in love so this is probably just a friendly outing. But I wish I had friends this pretty!!_

_Kpopizmylife: @MiSunandStars omg #SunSoo._

Already the article garnered more than 50 comments, a mix of people rooting for #SunSoo and denying that this picture showed anything other than friendship. Jennie’s chest felt tight as she closed the article and clicked the next email, an inane article that had nothing real to say except to report that #SunSoo had started trending on twitter. She didn’t even bother opening the last email. She was having too much trouble breathing.

She agreed with the online commenters. The picture, the bystanders’ statements, none of it felt _casual_. Her mind flashed back to the proofs from the cover shoots she saw last week, to the possessive way Sunmi seemed to hold Jisoo even then. Bile rose in her throat when she remembered—she knew something the commenters didn’t. She _knew_ Jisoo wasn’t really with Jinyoung. She _knew_ Jisoo’s sexuality, and from the look Sunmi was giving her in that picture, there was a very high likelihood that now Sunmi knew it, too.

Jennie couldn’t tell if she wanted to throw up or hyperventilate or faint. Her thumbs quickly typed out a message to her assistant, running on autopilot as she informed her that she would not be coming into work today. As soon as she heard the soft _whoosh_ of the email being sent, Jennie tossed her toothbrush back into its holder and immediately climbed back into her bed.

Her mind wouldn’t stop plastering that photo all over the inside of her eyelids, no matter how tightly she squeezed her eyes closed. Was this why Jisoo had changed toward her? Had she stopped being angry at Jennie not because she’d forgiven her, but because she’d found someone else? Had she really moved on? So easily?

_“There was a time where I thought we’d get married.”_

Jisoo had said those words barely even a month ago! How could she have…was that just the final straw for her? Did she, in that moment, completely give up on her?

Jennie felt the tears leak out. It didn’t take long to form a moist puddle in the middle of her pillow. She recalled the question she’d asked her dogs the other night— _probably right as they were on their date_ —and let out a keening cry, burying the sound in her pillow.

It was over for her and Jisoo. She was too late.

* * *

Once again, Jisoo found herself holding Jinyoung’s phone instead of her coffee. This was starting to become a habit.

“Looks like we may need to go on another date,” Jinyoung said, no heat in his voice as he pinched off a piece of her bagel.

Rolling her eyes, Jisoo read the Dispatch article detailing her dinner with Sunmi. “I’m trending on twitter?” Her eyebrows raised as she looked up at the actor.

“Well, not you _per se_ ,” Jinyoung said. “SunSoo is.”

“Sun…Soo?” Jisoo felt her eyebrows climb even higher. “They’ve already got a ship name for us?”

“So there’s an ‘us,’ is there?”

Jisoo coughed and reached for her coffee, taking an extra-large sip to buy herself some time to tamp down the heat in her face. “I mean, not _officially_ ,” she finally said when she could look Jinyoung in the eye again. “Nothing _happened_ , but we kind of left the idea of a second date open.”

“Might I suggest something slightly less _public_ next time?” Jinyoung offered a tired smile. “Did you have a good time at least?”

Looking down at the marble countertop, Jisoo wished she could be anywhere else. She was never very comfortable talking about her feelings before, and ever since Jennie it became nearly impossible—well, as Jinyoung would probably attest, unless it was _about_ Jennie. “Yeah, I think I did,” she said in a small voice. She traced random shapes on the counter with her fingers. “It felt very easy to talk to her.”

“Why are you making that face then?”

Jisoo frowned. “What face?”

“Your nauseous face.”

“I do not have a _nauseous_ face.”

“Have you ever seen yourself when you’re nauseous?” Jinyoung challenged with a smirk. Jisoo’s brow furrowed when she had no answer for that. “Exactly. So why are you making your nauseous face?”

Jisoo didn’t answer him right away, staring deeply into her coffee as if could enlighten her. “I think I feel guilty,” she admitted.

Jinyoung said nothing, just walked around the island and sat in the stool next to her, his chin propped on his elbow, ready to listen.

“I don’t want to hurt Jennie,” she continued, her thoughts coming out in fits and starts as she herself struggled to comprehend the gnawing feeling in her stomach. “I just got used to being around her again. I don’t want this to change that.”

She fell silent once again, and when Jinyoung spoke, his voice was soft, as if not to spook her out of her revelations. “When you say ‘this,’ does that mean you want whatever is happening with Sunmi to continue?” Jisoo bit her lip and looked over at her friend with a hesitant nod. With a nod of his own, Jinyoung dropped a hand onto her wrist, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Then give it a chance. This day was always going to come, Chu, where you’d have to try again. It’s never going to feel good to hear your ex is with someone else…but haven’t you already had to watch Jennie be engaged?” Another nod, and as much as Jisoo didn’t want to admit it, the knot in her stomach tightened at the mention of Kai. “You’re a graceful, classy woman, Kim Jisoo. You’ll do your best not to hurt her, but she may get hurt regardless of what you do. You shouldn’t let your guilt about her keep you from finding your happiness.”

Jinyoung was right. If not with Sunmi, if Jisoo ever did seriously consider starting something real with another person, she’d probably always feel guilty about Jennie. She’d feel like she was giving up on her, no matter how much she thought she’d moved on. She just needed to take this step if she met someone worth ripping off that band-aid for. Whether or not that person was Sunmi, Jisoo had yet to know, but after spending the last three years healing her heart, maybe it was worth figuring out.

“Okay,” she said. “You’re right. I deserve to see where things go.”

A crooked smile bloomed on Jinyoung’s face. “Atta girl.” He moved his hand to hers, tugging her off the stool. “Now let’s go get photographed walking to the coffee shop since I ate half your breakfast anyway.” Jisoo pouted down at her crumbs left on the plate, shooting a glare at Jinyoung, who held his hands up in surrender. “I promise, I’ll buy you a muffin.”

* * *

_Jisoo couldn’t believe the sight that greeted her when she came home from work. Her whole apartment sparkled, covered as it was in twinkling lights and paper snowflakes. Walking further into the room, she found two stockings mounted on her windowsill. One was labeled “Jisoo” and was stuffed to the brim with what looked to be several types of treats. The other read “Jennie” with a heart carefully drawn next to the name._

_“Jennie?” Jisoo called out, not immediately seeing the small figure in the corner by her bookshelf. When her eyes finally found her, a bright smile split across her face. “Did you do all this?”_

_Nodding, Jennie finished taping the last snowflake onto one of the shelves before approaching her. “Do you like it?”_

_Instead of answering, Jisoo dropped her bag and reached for Jennie, immediately pulling her in for a kiss. She felt Jennie’s hands come up to her back, gathering the fabric of her cardigan into her fists. “I love it,” she said, drawing back when oxygen became an issue. She knew she was smiling like an idiot, but she couldn’t help it as she kept alternating between looking at Jennie and looking at the decorations. Jennie’s eyes shimmered at her hopefully, her lower lip pulled into her teeth as she searched Jisoo’s face for any hint of disapproval. Jisoo leaned forward and kissed her again, freeing that lower lip and soothing it with her own. “This must have taken you hours.”_

_Jennie shrugged, stepping forward to hug Jisoo. “Just a few,” she said. Jisoo could feel her chin bobbing up and down on her shoulder. “I wanted to surprise you.”_

_“You definitely did. This is wonderful,” Jisoo hummed, rubbing Jennie’s back. “What brought this on?”_

_Jennie huffed against her and pushed back so she could look Jisoo in the eye. She looked as if she was gathering courage to head into battle. “So I realize we’ve only been dating a month, but I wanted to get you a present for Christmas. But I also didn’t know exactly what you’d want or if you’d even want anything fancy, so I decided to do this so that your place feels more festive and happy while I’m visiting home.” She took a deep breath after her nervous speech and dropped her gaze to Jisoo’s black choker necklace. “I used your spare key. I hope that’s okay.”_

_Laughing, Jisoo tucked a lock of hair behind Jennie’s ear. “Well, you know, I was okay with the whole breaking in to decorate my apartment thing, but using the spare key I gave you is where I draw the line.” Jennie pouted, prompting yet another round of kisses from Jisoo. She just couldn’t resist when she made faces like that. “Thank you for my present, Jendeukie.”_

_Jennie moaned softly into her mouth. “Are you distracting me with kisses to avoid telling me you didn’t get me a present?”_

_“Rude,” Jisoo mumbled against the other’s lips. She extricated herself from her girlfriend to retrieve her bag from the floor. “I didn’t have time to wrap it yet because I didn’t realize we were doing this_ tonight _, but—” she shoved the box forward— “Merry Christmas, Jennie.”_

_Watching Jennie slowly open the gift, Jisoo clasped her hands tightly together to keep them from tapping anxiously on her legs. Jennie let out a soft gasp and pulled out the leather-bound photo-album from the box. Her eyes started to water as she fingered the engraving on the cover, which read “To my Jendeukie, a place for all your beautiful pictures.” She opened the book to see Jisoo placed one already into the first sleeve, a selfie of them from the day Jennie took Jisoo’s new headshots with a dozen little hearts drawn around it. “Jisoo, you shouldn’t have,” Jennie gasped, unable to keep her voice from shaking as she looked up at the waitress._

_“Do you like it?” Jisoo echoed Jennie from before._

_Jennie took great care in placing the book back into the box and depositing the box onto the kitchen table before all but tackling Jisoo. “It’s perfect,” Jennie whispered into her hair._

_Relieved, Jisoo smiled and nuzzled further into the younger girl’s neck. “I hope we can fill that album up beginning to end.”_

_“We’ll start tonight,” Jennie declared with a bright smile. “I brought my camera.”_

_Immediately she directed Jisoo to go sit by the stockings for a photo shoot, ignoring her complaints about still being in her work clothes. Jisoo needed no direction to smile, however. One look at her surroundings—and her girlfriend—and she was positively beaming._

* * *

“Jennie Kim, I need you to open the door right now.” Lisa’s muffled voice and powerful knocking could be heard even from Jennie’s bedroom, despite the brunette’s efforts to bury her head under her pillow. Her head pounded almost in time to Lisa’s fist rapping against her front door. “Alright, I’m officially using the emergency key so don’t be naked.” Jennie couldn’t even manage a tired grunt in acknowledgement. She didn’t need to anyway—she heard the deadbolt unlock, followed by Lisa’s urgent footsteps into her room. “Oh, dear god. What the hell happened to you?”

Jennie was sure she looked terrifying. She’d spent the last few hours alternating between crying or staring into space—or worse, at pictures of Jisoo and Sunmi. She burrowed further into her pillows, hiding her face. “I’m fine, Lisa,” she groaned. “Just not feeling that well. You can go.”

“Bullshit,” Lisa retorted, worry lacing her voice as she dropped her bag on the dresser and sat on the bed next to Jennie. “I go by your office to drag you to a lunch date _you_ invited me to, only to find your staff running around like a bunch of geese with their heads cut off because you called out sick for the first time _ever_.”

“Chickens.”

“What?”

Jennie lifted her head just enough to look at her friend. “The saying is ‘running around like chickens with their heads cut off,’ not geese.”

Instead of acknowledging the completely irrelevant comment, Lisa placed the back of her hand on Jennie’s forehead. “You don’t have a fever.”

“I’m not that kind of sick,” Jennie grumbled and swatted away the model’s hand.

“So what kind of sick are you?”

Tugging her comforter over her head, Jennie squeezed her eyes shut as tight as they’d go, hoping to keep the headache—and the tears—at bay. “The kind I don’t want to talk about.”

“Tough,” Lisa said. She scooted up on the bed and leaned against the headboard, bringing her heeled feet up on the bed as she crossed her legs. “In two years, I’ve never seen you like this so I’m not leaving until you do.”

Kuma, bless him, came racing up to Lisa right then. He bounced onto the bed and her lap, his front paws braced against her chest while he panted happily up at her. “He’s hungry,” Jennie said, peeking out from under the blankets.

Lisa looked down at her in genuine alarm. “You haven’t even gotten out of bed to feed Kuma and Kai?” Jennie felt her eyes grow glassy as she realized what a mess she’d become in the matter of a few hours, and Lisa seemed to know what was about to happen. She scooped up the small dog in her arms and stood up from the bed. “I’m going to feed Kuma and Kai and take them outside so they can do their business. But after that, I’m coming back in here, and _we are talking_.”

Jennie nodded with a grateful look at her friend for taking care of her pets. She knew this was only delaying the inevitable, but, as Lisa disappeared into the kitchen and called for Kai, Jennie took the opportunity to once again disappear under her covers. Maybe she’d manage to fall asleep in the next ten minutes, and she hoped to God it would be dreamless.

* * *

_Jennie was grateful when Kai tapped her on the shoulder, interrupting another exceedingly dull story by one of her father’s co-workers. When she turned around, he placed a finger to his lips and gestured to a tell-tale bulge in his jacket. Jennie quickly excused herself and tried to be as subtle as possible about absconding from the party with her friend._

_When they made it to the balcony connected to her room, Jennie turned around and greeted Kai with a big bear hug. “Your timing is fantastic,” she said, her face buried in his chest._

_Kai’s arms came up around her to return the embrace, a chuckle bubbling out of him. “You looked like you wanted to die.”_

_“Well, there’s only so many time a girl can hear about the stock market in one night.” Pulling back, she grinned at Kai and tapped the bottle in his hand. “Time to start the fun party.”_

_The pair settled on the floor of the balcony, below the windowsill so they would remain unseen, passing the bottle back and forth while Kai regaled her of his latest escapades running around Southeast Asia for his father’s business. There was an excited glint to his eyes that Jennie was sure she’d never seen before, and she had trouble believing it was just from work. Kai didn’t keep her waiting too long, though. “I met someone, Jen,” he announced. He was practically bouncing out of his skin as he looked at the grad student._

_“I thought it was going to be something like that,” Jennie smirked, glad she could still read her friend like a book. “Tell me everything.”_

_And so he did. His eyes grew distant as he told her about Rei, a Japanese girl he met while he was in Tokyo for work. They met six months ago and spent the week he was in town together, but they fell out of touch when he returned to Korea. Then suddenly she messaged him in the Fall to tell him she was moving to Korea for her own work, and they’d picked up right where they left off. Kai couldn’t stop smiling as he spoke about Rei._

_“Why, Jongin, I do believe you’re in love.” Jennie poked him in the side when he’d grown quiet, distracted as he was by thoughts of his girlfriend._

_Kai hummed in answer, taking another swig from the bottle. Jennie was about to tease him more when her phone buzzed. She reached into her pocket and pulled it out, and she felt her own dopey smile break out at the message awaiting her._

**_Jichu_** 💕: _Merry Christmas, Jendeukie. I know I said I’d be fine, but it’s only been three days and I already miss you_ 😢 _._

_“Why, Jennie, I do believe you’re hiding someone of your own,” Kai teased, nudging Jennie out of her stupor. “Who has you almost caressing your phone like that?”_

* * *

The nudging wouldn’t stop, and Jennie tried to swat the offending hand away, clearly missing since the nudging continued. “Kai, chill out,” she groaned into her pillow.

“Kai? Gross, are you really having a sex dream right now?” Lisa’s voice broke through the haze, and Jennie’s eyes popped open, reality crashing down on her all over again.

She groaned even louder, squeezing her eyes shut again. Maybe she could go back to that dream if she tried hard enough. But Lisa was having none of that, pushing on her shoulder and rolling her over so she was on her back and staring at the ceiling. “Ugh, no, I was not having a sex dream, Lalisa.”

Lisa settled on the bed next to her, arms crossed and face serious. “So are you going to tell me what’s going on now?”

As she contemplated the plain white ceiling, Jennie thought back to her dream, that night she told Kai she’d met the most amazing person. She’d loved finally being able to share that part of her life with her best friend. She remembered feeling infinitely lighter after telling him. But she hadn’t told him that person had come back into her life, and she couldn’t put her finger on why. She knew it wouldn’t hurt him to know, but some part of her didn’t want him to worry about her. And maybe she didn’t want him to have to listen to her talk about Jisoo when Rei was still in Japan dating someone new. But _god_ , she missed talking about Jisoo.

“I lied,” she breathed into the air.

“About what?”

“When I said I didn’t know Jisoo that well.”

Lisa’s head whipped around, taking in the exhausted mess that had become of her friend. “I’m listening.”

And so Jennie told her. She told her everything. With every word out of her mouth, the immense weight in her chest lightened just a little bit. Lisa stayed silent throughout the whole story, letting Jennie tell her about her past relationship with Jisoo without interruption.

When Jennie finished, Lisa furrowed her brow in thought, her ash-brown bangs shifting slightly as she did so. “So you and Jisoo were together for almost a year,” she started in summary, waiting for Jennie’s confirmatory nod before continuing, “and you broke up with her because your parents made you.” Another nod. “And you haven’t seen her in three years, until we re-introduced you at the afterparty.”

“Yep.” Jennie let out a hollow laugh. “And then, irony of ironies, my mother insisted we make Jisoo the next JK spokesperson.”

“Does she know it’s the same Jisoo?”

Jennie shook her head, eyes still fixed on the ceiling. “She never met her. I was going to introduce them at my graduation party, but she made sure Jisoo’s name was left off the guest list.”

“And you’ve been having to work with her for the last month.” Lisa whistled. “That must have been rough.”

“You’re telling me.”

“And you're worried those pictures with Sunmi means she's moved on.” The way Jennie’s face crumpled at the reminder gave Lisa her answer. “And you’re still in love with her.” That part wasn’t a question. Lisa needed no confirmation of that point. It was clear as day.

“What if she’s given up on me?” Jennie’s question was almost inaudible, but immediately she felt Lisa’s arms pull her in, the taller woman sliding down in the bed so she was lying beside her.

Lisa’s response was just as quiet. “Have you ever thought that maybe she thinks you’ve given up on her?” Jennie turned to her, confusion swimming in her eyes. “You are engaged to Kai, after all.”

“Only because I have to be,” Jennie defended herself. “We’ll never be more than friends to each other. Jisoo should know that.”

“Did you ever _tell_ Jisoo that?”

The weight in Jennie’s chest intensified ten-fold. “No,” she gasped. She’d been too wrapped up in all the emotions swirling around inside her any time Jisoo was nearby to think about anything else.

“So as far as Jisoo knows, you’re planning your wedding to someone else. And by all appearances, you seem like a true, comfortable couple. Why would she have any reason to doubt that?”

Jennie turned into Lisa and buried her face in her chest. How could she have been so _stupid_? How could she just have assumed Jisoo would be able to read her as well as she once could, especially when she spent the last few years actively trying to make herself as unreadable as possible? “You’re right, it’s my fault. And now she’s moving on, and—it _hurts_ , Lisa.”

Tears sprang up behind her eyelids again, and she shook with the effort it took to keep them inside. Lisa’s hand rubbed up and down her back soothingly. “It’s okay, Jennie. Let it out.”

The broken sobs violently burst out of Jennie’s body, muffled somewhat by Lisa’s sweater. She clutched at the thick fabric as she would a lifeline. Lisa’s hand kept stroking her back, trying to soothe her as much as possible. But Jennie had a feeling she wouldn’t feel better for a long, long time.

* * *

Once again, Jisoo sat in the makeup chair as Eun fussed over her hair. Trying to keep still as possible so as not to make Eun’s job harder, she cast her eyes around the studio. It was filled with people, photographers, lighting technicians, cameramen, all the people required to make a commercial. But something was missing.

“Looking for someone?” Eun’s question caught her attention.

“I…um, no, not really.” Jisoo slumped back into the chair, feeling uneasy. “I guess I just thought Jennie would come by.”

Eun laughed kindly, twisting Jisoo’s hair up into a loose bun. “I think last time was the exception, Miss Jisoo. Miss Kim does not usually come to shoots. Usually, she sends someone else on her team to supervise.” Eun paused her ministrations to point out a man who looked to be in his early thirties talking to the director. “That’s her head of media relations over there.”

“Oh.” Jisoo watched the man gesture animatedly to the director. They looked like they were friends. “I’ve only been dealing with Jennie so far.”

In the mirror, Jisoo saw the corner of Eun’s mouth quirk upward for a second before she answered her. “Maybe she needed to oversee another project. She is the Vice President of the company, after all.”

“Maybe.” Jisoo fell silent after that. She felt like there was an itch between her shoulder blades, where she couldn’t reach. She hadn’t seen hide nor hair of Jennie in almost a week, since the last shoot. Maybe Eun was right, and it was just because Jennie didn’t _need_ to be there anymore. This was their last shoot, after all. After this, she was done until Fashion Week started in a month.

Jisoo’s eyes narrowed at the man Jennie sent in her stead. He appeared friendly enough, but Jisoo couldn’t suppress the supreme annoyance she felt at his presence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments make me happy 🙃. Happy New Year!


	8. Snow Angels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So today is my last day of vacation, so I wanted to get at least one more chapter out before it ended! For the record, I almost made this SIGNIFICANTLY angstier because I was in a mood, but it felt like too soon for those things lol. It's remarkable what a little time spent outside can do for your perspective 😂. Thank you for all of your sweet comments and your engagement with this fic. Please keep them coming!

Another week passed before Jisoo heard anything from Jennie. A week filled with any and everything possible to distract herself. She went out with Rosé, went to Jinyoung’s set to watch him film, and when Lisa was too busy to meet up, she reorganized her whole closet. The day after her last shoot with JK, she’d received a huge box with JK clothes to wear whenever suited her in her continued sponsorship. Now she stared at an entire section of her closet dedicated to the designs she would forever associate with their namesake. She wondered how the company came to be named after Jennie when it was her mother who founded it. From what she remembered of what Jennie told her a lifetime ago, Kim Minji was not known for her sentimentality.

Ack, she was thinking about Jennie again. She closed the door to her closet just a touch too loudly.

She went on her second and third dates with Sunmi. She mustered up the courage on the third date to ask Sunmi how she knew about her. Sunmi just smiled and said she didn’t _know_ , but she’d _hoped_. Sunmi’s eyes had gotten all soft then and Jisoo ducked her head, feeling shy all of a sudden. She’d looked up again when she felt Sunmi’s lips on her cheek, and she let Sunmi lean in again to brush their lips together. She kissed her back. She thought she felt her heart flutter for the first time in eons.

She went home to her silent house with a small smile on her face. Her cheeks felt warm, and she was filled with restlessness. She texted Jinyoung as she kicked off her heels in the foyer.

 **Jisoo** (10:54 PM): Now there’s an “us.” 🙈

 **Jinyoung** (10:54 PM): Way to go, Chu!!!! 🎉

 **Jinyoung** (10:55 PM): God, if only the SunSoo shippers knew, they’d die.

 **Jisoo** (10:55 PM): Tell anyone and *you’re* dead 🔪

She made her way up to her bedroom, tossing her phone on the bed as she reached for the zipper of her dress. She’d just tugged on her pajama top when the faint buzz of her phone signaled a new message, but she was too focused on finishing her bedtime routine to give it much thought. The restlessness from before quickly morphed into bone-deep exhaustion, the kind of exhaustion one felt after spending the day at an amusement park. Whoever texted her could wait. All she wanted to do right then was climb into her bed and relive the last few hours as she lulled herself to sleep.

It was only when she settled herself under the covers, reaching over to plug her phone and set the alarm, that she saw the name of the sender.

 **Jennie** (11:02 PM): Hey. Sorry I missed you at the last shoot. Did you get the clothes we sent you?

And just like that, the restlessness returned with a vengeance, only this time it was much less pleasant. Jisoo stared at the message in shock. Two weeks of radio silence followed by the first text they’ve exchanged in years, and it was so…business-like?

 **Jisoo** (11:08 PM): Hey, stranger.

 **Jisoo** (11:08 PM): The clothes are great. Thank you.

After staring at the chat for another two minutes, waiting for a response, Jisoo wanted to kick herself. She didn’t do this anymore, not over Jennie, and certainly not an hour after she kissed Sunmi for the first time. She quickly enabled Do Not Disturb and put her phone face-down on the nightstand.

If Jennie texted her back, she’d deal with it in the morning.

* * *

 **_Spotted_ ** _: Kim Jisoo laughing with Lee Sunmi over ice cream as snow threatens to fall. The cold didn’t seem to bother this duo as they were kind enough to stop for pictures with the staff of the Happy Ice Cream Parlor. This isn’t the first time we’ve seen these new best friends out and about—we all remember the splash they made at Park Ji-hoon’s new restaurant opening last week. Suddenly, we’re in the mood for ice cream!_

_SnowStan: Lol “best friends”_

_SunmiMarryMe: Soon they’re gonna start using #SunSoo unironically since they’re such great gal pals right_

_SunSooperstar: Oh, to have been a worker at that ice cream shop yesterday!!_

“What are you reading?” Her mother’s voice made Jennie almost fall out of her chair. She hadn’t heard her office door open.

“Mom, hi,” she greeted, a hand over her heart. “Nothing, just keeping apprised of our brand ambassador.”

Minji quirked an eyebrow, walking closer to take a seat in one of the chairs facing Jennie’s desk. “Miss Jisoo has been quite the money maker for us already,” she commented as she picked up one of the look books off the desk. “Nicely done.”

Jennie’s eyes widened, not only at the rare praise from her mother but also at the news that Jisoo’s campaign was already so successful. “Th-Thank you.” She closed the window and opened the interim reports her finance manager sent her earlier in the week. “I hadn’t gotten a chance to really delve into the numbers yet, but the online chatter seems very promising so far.”

“Oh, you must have been out when we got the news.” Minji paused and narrowed her eyes at her daughter suspiciously. “We never did discuss what had you so sick that you had to miss a whole week. You certainly appear healthy enough.”

Heat crept up the back of Jennie’s neck under her mother’s gaze, and she tried to wave it off. “Oh, it was just a really terrible case of food poisoning. I couldn’t leave the bathroom for the whole first day. It just zapped all my strength, but I’m better now.” She heard herself explaining too much. Time to pivot. “What news?”

The eyebrow quirked again, but Minji let it slide. “That grey trench coat you designed. Jisoo wore it to some restaurant opening, and as soon as the pictures were posted, it sold out in under a day.”

 _The power of #SunSoo_ , Jennie mused darkly. She had trouble injecting the proper amount of enthusiasm into her voice. “That’s great.”

“Maybe you’re still a little under the weather,” Minji said, her head tilting in a rare moment of genuine concern. “You don’t sound like yourself.”

“I’m just still a little tired.” Jennie knew that would be believable, as she’d spent extra time that morning covering up the dark circles under her eyes. After her first two days spent feeling sorry for herself, she still could not bring herself to get out of bed. The rest of the week, she felt like a hibernating bear, sleeping for most of the day and night, only leaving her bedroom to feed and walk her dogs, nibbling on whatever was at hand while she did so. She still felt like she could sleep for a few more days, and she had no idea why.

“You should take the rest of the day off,” Minji suggested. Jennie did a double take at her mother’s words. “You’ve been working so hard for months. It really only takes one good hit to break your momentum and make you realize how drained you are. Trust me, I’ve been there.” She stood up and reached for her daughter’s face, stroking the cheek softly. “It’s okay if you need to ease back into work.”

Jennie looked up at her mother—her _mom_. Just a small gesture made Jennie feel so much safer she had to blink away the sudden moisture in her eyes. She ducked her head, cursing herself for the involuntary action when it made the hand on her face fall away. Suddenly all she wanted was to bury herself in a warm hug, but she knew that would be asking for too much. “You’re right. Thank you, Mom.”

 _Jennie Kim, you’re a mess_ , she chided herself as she walked out of her office building twenty minutes later, zipping up her puffy jacket to ward off the cold. It was only when she was outside that she realized she had no idea what to do now with her sudden free afternoon. Her stomach grumbled. Maybe food first.

Her eyes alighted on the ramen place she took Jisoo to after her first fitting, the lighted sign a bright reminder that she still hadn’t figured out what to say to the other woman. In a mad fit of bravery last night, she’d finally reached out after almost two weeks of actively avoiding the actress, not really expecting her to be awake, let alone to answer so quickly, albeit with a rather curt response. She’d fallen asleep before she could formulate any way to keep the conversation going. Pulling out her phone, Jennie tapped on the name to open the chat.

 **Jennie** (11:54 AM): Hey, you free for lunch?

Three dots appeared and disappeared a few times in the agonizing minutes following her sending the text. Finally, her phone vibrated in her hands as a new text appeared under hers.

 **Jisoo** (11:57 AM): Sure. Where do you want to meet?

* * *

Exhausted, Jisoo climbed off her treadmill and collapsed on the matted floor. _Maybe I overdid it today_. She rolled to her side to reach for her water bottle, guzzling half its contents in one go. She looked at herself in the mirrored wall, taking note of the sweaty, exhausted wreck staring back at her. She definitely overdid it. But she also felt calmer, too tired to focus on anything other than slowing down her heart rate.

She slept terribly the night before, tossing and turning, getting grumpier every time she checked her phone—to look at the _time_ , nothing more. The restlessness from the night before persisted into the morning, until Jisoo thought she would go out of her mind if she didn’t find a way to shut it off.

Running did that. She hated running. But it was a surefire way to make her brain go quiet because she would be so focused on how _miserable_ running made her. And she needed her brain to be quiet this morning, otherwise she’d keep checking her phone looking for a new message. She specifically needed her brain to be quiet so she wouldn’t have to keep shoving down the guilt at the fact that she was waiting on a message from someone other than the woman she was currently dating.

It was like Jennie somehow knew exactly when to text Jisoo, like she had a little alert that went off that said, “Oops! Jisoo is moving on. Time to mess it up.”

Jisoo frowned at her own reflection. She knew that wasn’t fair to Jennie. Sure, things had changed a lot in the last four years, but she knew Jennie wouldn’t ever be so manipulative. She knew the timing of her reaching out was a coincidence; there was no possible way for Jennie to have known she’d just come home from a date with Sunmi.

The soft chime of her phone broke Jisoo out of her reverie, and she wanted to hand it to whoever up there was having their fun. It was Jennie, inviting her to lunch.

An hour later, she sat across from the woman plaguing her thoughts. She recognized the name of the ramen place when Jennie suggested it, and although it was less than a month ago that she was last here, it felt like a vastly different place now. Nothing was different about the establishment itself, just its patrons.

Jennie looked uneasy, still in her puffy jacket and rubbing her hands together under the table as if she was still cold, despite their table being furthest away from the door. Her eyes looked sunken in and her cheeks sallower than usual. She looked…tired.

“Is everything okay?” Jisoo asked, not liking seeing this version of Jennie.

Cat-eyes glanced up and met hers, and Jisoo saw the confusion in them. Jisoo blinked. What did Jennie have to be confused about? Jennie inhaled deeply, her eyes closing for a moment before opening with a little more conviction. “I—I wanted to say I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

Jennie paused as the waiter brought them their large, steaming bowls of ramen. Wordlessly, Jennie pushed the red pepper in Jisoo’s direction. She waited for Jisoo to stir in the extra spice before she continued. “A lot of things, really, but right now, I’m sorry for disappearing on you these last couple weeks. I needed a little time to figure some things out.” Jisoo nodded, silently continuing to stir her noodles until Jennie was ready to speak again. “I’ve realized a lot lately, the biggest thing being that I haven’t been fair to you. Ever since we’ve been back in each other’s lives, I’ve been so in my head about everything. I let myself get so overwhelmed by being around you that I never actually talked to you about…well, _anything_. If you’ve been anywhere near as lost as I have been these last few years, I’m sorry I couldn’t be aware enough of that to talk to you.”

Jisoo stopped stirring her food, her chopsticks slipping out of her fingers as she stared at the brunette in shock. Jennie stared back at her, nervously chewing on her bottom lip as she waited for Jisoo’s reply. But no words entered her mind. She didn’t know how to process Jennie’s words, her mind instinctively delving into them for subtext. Had Jennie just inadvertently told her she still had fee—

“I think you’re seeing someone else.” Jennie’s words stopped Jisoo’s thoughts in their tracks. A watery smile puffed out her cheeks, Jennie’s clear attempt at showing the words were not meant to be an accusation. “And I think I know who, and I just want you to know I’m going to do my best to support that. I still want you to be in my life, even if it’s just as a friend, and I’ll try to be better about talking about what’s going on in my head so that you don’t waste your energy trying to figure it out. I don’t want any confusion about me to get in the way of you being happy.”

Just like that, Jisoo felt she was seeing the old Jennie— _her_ Jennie, the one who knew exactly what she was thinking, the one who seemed to still be able to predict that Jisoo would possibly ruin a good thing because she wouldn’t stop worrying about Jennie. “I—um, I don’t know what to say,” she breathed at last.

Jennie finally looked down at her own bowl, breaking apart her chopsticks so she could stir its contents. “You could say you’re happy with Sunmi.”

“I…” Jisoo’s heart pounded, not sure she could say something like that so soon. “It’s still new.”

“Does she make you smile?”

Jisoo felt her heart crack a little at the quiet question. She peered into her ramen, not wanting to look at Jennie’s face when she said two words that she now very acutely knew would hurt her. “She does.”

She heard Jennie take in a shaky breath before she heard the telltale slurping of ramen. She looked back up to see Jennie’s cheeks filled with food, her eyes reduced to slits as she tried to hide her pain with a close-mouthed smile. “Then I’m happy for you. You deserve someone like that.”

The two of them ate their ramen in silence for a while, each wrapped up in their own mess of thoughts. “Jennie,” Jisoo said halfway through their meal.

“Hm?”

“Thank you.”

* * *

_The music in Jisoo’s apartment was so loud, she almost missed the faint knock on her front door. She ducked, apologizing to her friends and making her way to the door. The person that waited on the other side, grinning with their infectious, gummy smile, made Jisoo immediately break out into the widest smile she’d made in over a week. “Jennie!”_

_Immediately, Jennie launched herself at her girlfriend, her arms wrapping around her neck as she buried her face in Jisoo’s neck. Jisoo’s arms instantly came up to embrace her, holding the brunette to her as if she’d been gone a year rather than 10 days. “You’re back early,” she declared, nuzzling into Jennie’s long brown locks._

_“I couldn’t wait any longer to see you,” Jennie said. Her lips ghosted across the skin of Jisoo’s shoulder as she spoke, sending shivers down the latter’s spine. “I wanted to ring in the new year with you.”_

_Suddenly remembering the New Year’s party going on behind her, Jisoo reluctantly pulled back, but not before she deposited a chaste, lingering kiss on the lips she’d missed so much. “Come on, I want you to meet my friends.” She took Jennie’s hand and pulled her further into the apartment, approaching the three girls she’d left to answer the door. “This is Joy, Seulgi, and Soojoo, my closest friends from college. Girls, this is Jennie, my girlfriend.”_

_It was the first time either of them used the word “girlfriend” to anyone outside of each other, and Jisoo turned to see Jennie beaming. “It’s so nice to meet you all. Jisoo has told me so much about how you all got her through college in one piece.”_

_“More like the other way around for me,” Seulgi laughed. “I was a wreck.”_

_Jisoo leaned over and stage-whispered to Jennie, one hand still firmly intertwined with the other’s. “If it weren’t for me, she’d continue being a useless lesbian pining after Joy.”_

_“Yeah, we owe this lady a lot.” Joy raised her glass to Jisoo as she slung an arm around her girlfriend. “Thanks to Jisoo, I’m always out of peanut butter.”_

_“Peanut butter?” Jennie asked, puzzled._

_Seulgi elbowed Joy. “Peanut butter on a spoon is one of life’s best snacks.”_

_“I thought that was me,” Joy smirked._

_Seulgi didn’t miss a beat. “Peanut butter, then you.”_

_“Soojoo was my roommate for the first two years of college, and she was absolutely the only reason I made it to my morning classes,” Jisoo explained, bringing in the only one in the group who had yet to speak._

_Soojoo smiled shyly. “Jisoo sleeps like a log, I’m sure you know.”_

_Jennie nodded, her free hand finding its way to wrap around the arm closest to her. Jisoo felt her smile widen, loving that Jennie seemed to have missed touching her as much as Jisoo missed being touched. “I like it,” Jennie said. “I practically sleep on top of her, and she has no idea.”_

_Rolling her eyes, Jisoo watched Jennie dazzle the rest of the guests at her party. By the time she’d finished introducing her to her friends, Jennie had charmed each and every one of them. “I think I should be mad at you for stealing all my friends,” Jisoo mused as they all crowded around her TV for the final few minutes of the year._

_She felt Jennie tug her closer by the hand she’d not once let go of since she arrived. “Well, I stole you first, so you’re my favorite,” Jennie whispered into her ear, followed by a small kiss behind it._

_Jisoo shuddered, her own lips finding Jennie’s pillow-soft cheek. “I’m so happy you’re here,” she confessed._

_She was graced with yet another gummy smile, the two of them content to grin like idiots at one another until they heard everyone starting the count down. Their gazes never wavered as they counted down the new year with everyone else._

_“3, 2, 1…Happy New Year!”_

_The din of people celebrating faded away as Jisoo leaned in and marked the new year with a kiss. Jennie’s hand finally left hers to slide around to the back of her neck, tilting her head to deepen the kiss. Jisoo felt herself leaning forward, supporting Jennie by the small of her back, lost in the sensations of the other girl until she started hearing a couple of whistles sent in their direction._

_Breaking apart, both their faces flushing madly, Jisoo brushed Jennie’s bangs out of her eyes. “Happy New Year, Jendeukie.”_

_“Happy New Year, Jichu,” Jennie answered, her eyes dancing with elation. “I think this has been my favorite New Year so far.”_

_Jisoo’s heart fluttered, her cheeks starting to ache from how much she was smiling. “Mine, too.”_

* * *

They spent the rest of the afternoon together, learning how to be around each other as friends. The air between them seemed cleaner, less tense after Jennie’s speech. Jennie felt lighter, some of the immense guilt she’d carried since she graduated business school now a little bit smaller. After lunch, they got hot chocolates and walked through a nearby park. Jennie couldn’t help the pang in her chest at seeing Jisoo trying to hide her laughter in her cup, bundled up with a warm coat and scarf, small snowflakes dotting her black hair.

Snowflakes?

Jennie stopped and looked up at the sky. Sure enough, hundreds of thousands of flakes fluttered down to the earth, far from the first snow of the season but it still felt new to her. She closed her eyes and reveled in the tiny ice-cold kisses that fell on her face.

“Jennie?” Jisoo’s voice was a few feet away, as if she’d kept walking a bit before she realized Jennie had fallen behind.

Opening her eyes, she laughed in glee. “Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve gotten to be out in a snowfall?”

Jisoo tilted her head to the side, an amused look in her eyes. “You make it sound like you just got out of prison.”

“Well, not _quite_ prison, and it’s of my own making,” Jennie ceded, following Jisoo’s lead and continuing their walk. “But I so rarely get to just spend a day out on my own like this. I don’t think I’ve gotten to play in the snow since grad school.”

“We’re walking, not playing, Jende—Jennie.” Jisoo hurriedly took another sip of her hot chocolate, her eyes firmly focused on the path ahead of them and, thankfully, not on Jennie’s pink cheeks at almost hearing her nickname again. Jennie looked down at her to-go cup, missing the way Jisoo’s face also grew just the tiniest bit redder.

“Just you wait until there’s enough on the ground tonight,” Jennie promised. “I’ll be out making snow angels.”

Jisoo chuckled, her eyes twinkling at her companion’s planned antics. “You’ll be inside under three blankets complaining about how cold it is.”

Jennie huffed, her cheeks puffing out as she pouted. Jisoo simply quirked a challenging eyebrow at her, smirking when Jennie’s shoulders slumped in defeat. “Okay, that _is_ probably what I’ll do, but I will make at least _one_ snow angel when I take Kuma and Kai out for their evening walk.”

“All alone?”

“Are you offering to make snow angels with me?”

With a start, Jisoo shook her head emphatically. “No, why—no, that’s not what I meant,” she mumbled. This time, Jennie _did_ see her face heat up, and it made Jennie’s heart skip a beat. She’d missed seeing this Jisoo, the adorably easily flustered Jisoo. _Stop that._

“Kai lives down the block from me. Maybe I can force him outside with me.”

“I’m surprised you don’t live together yet,” Jisoo said, her voice neutral.

Jennie shrugged, a measured casualness to her entire demeanor as she answered her. “We’re not in love, so we give each other our space.” She purposely did not turn to see Jisoo’s reaction, but she felt the other woman stiffen.

“Not in love? But you looked so comfortable with each other at the after party.”

“He’s my best friend,” Jennie said. Her neck hurt from how much she had to tense it to keep from looking at Jisoo.

A beat of silence followed. The question was clearly at the tip of Jisoo’s tongue, held back merely by the realization it was a sensitive one. “So why are you still marrying him?”

Jennie grimaced. Even knowing the question was coming did not make answering it any easier. “Because even now, I’m unable to stand up to my parents,” she admitted, her words coming out in a hesitant grumble. “Kai and I have been trying to find a way to get out of it without blowing everything up between our families and businesses.”

“Not loving one another isn’t enough of a reason?” Jisoo’s question sounded subdued. Jennie peeked out the side of her eye to see her frowning at her hot chocolate.

“Well…” Jennie hesitated, wondering if it was okay to tell Jisoo what she wanted to. If they were allowed to talk about their past. After all, the last time Jennie mentioned their breakup was a month ago, when Jisoo shut her down and insisted they only talk of their current lives. Jisoo seemed to get the hint and offered a nod, indicating she could handle it. “We were both in love with other people when we got engaged. Our parents knew that, and it didn’t change anything.”

Jisoo shook her head, anger alight in her eyes. “I don’t understand how parents can claim to love their children and then actively act against their child’s happiness.”

“In their minds, that’s not what they’re doing,” Jennie said, not quite understanding her constant impulse to defend her parents. “They just think they know what will lead to our happiness in the long run better than we do.”

“And your family businesses benefit,” Jisoo added wryly, unmoved by Jennie’s justifications.

“My parents love me,” she insisted. “They just don’t show it like normal parents do.”

The way Jisoo was looking her right then, it felt like she was reading her very soul. They’d long since stopped walking, and Jisoo seemed to be contemplating her with an intensity she hadn’t ever experienced before. “Can I ask you a question that you may not like?” Jennie nodded. “Is it possible you’re confusing their love for their approval?”

All the air left Jennie’s lungs. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Jisoo sighed, clearly hating herself for even suggesting it. “What do you think would happen if you disobeyed them or let them down in some way?”

Jennie didn’t even want to think about the possibility. She knew she worked her ass off every day of her life to stave off that very thing. She wanted her parents to be proud of her. She wanted them to boast about her to their friends. Because then she knew she was worthy of their love. “I…I don’t know,” she confessed. The words felt heavy on her tongue, because right away, she knew they were the wrong answer.

Cold fingers found her hand and gave it a squeeze. “A parent’s love should be unconditional, Jen,” Jisoo said softly. “You disappointing them occasionally is supposed to come with the territory, and a parent should love you even when you don’t live up to their expectations.” Then, as if she’d known exactly what was going through Jennie’s mind, she added, “It is not up to the child to _earn_ their parents’ love. They are worthy of love from the second they are born.”

Jennie had no answer for that. She had a sinking realization that everything Jisoo said rang true. She just always assumed her family was just _different_. _But that was because I never challenged them on anything. The one time I got close—_ Jennie’s eyes darted to the woman whose hand held hers so tenderly— _I still caved._

“How much have you sacrificed to keep your parents’ love?”

Jennie wanted to ask herself that very same question, but there was no need when the answer literally stared her in the face, brow furrowed and eyes shining with concern.

* * *

Halfway through unwrapping her scarf in her foyer, Jisoo felt her phone buzzing. She looked down at the name, a small smile turning her lips upward when she saw Sunmi’s face on her screen. She quickly picked up with a fond, “Hi, you.”

“I tried waiting for you to call me first, but I got impatient.” Sunmi’s warm voice made Jisoo’s smile grow. “How was your day?”

Jisoo balanced her phone between her shoulder and ear so she could take off the rest of her outerwear and hang them up on the hooks by the door. “My day was really nice, actually. I got lunch with a friend, and we went on a walk after. What about you?”

“Well, I spent the morning in a bunch of meetings completely distracted thinking about last night,” Sunmi said, prompting a pleased hum from the younger actress. “Then I had to shoot a few scenes where I was supposed to be angry, and I’m pretty sure they turned out terrible.”

“I doubt that,” Jisoo scoffed. She headed into her living room, curling up on the couch.

Sunmi chuckled. “It’s very hard to be convincing when you’re incapable of feeling any negative emotions.”

Blushing, Jisoo tucked her legs underneath her, tugging the throw blanket on top of herself. “One day, you’ve got to stop the constant flirting. My face will burn right off.”

“I’m also incapable of that,” the other woman declared.

Before Jisoo even realized, an hour had passed. She found hearing Sunmi talk soothing, her low voice washing over her like gentle ocean waves. By the time they finally hung up, Jisoo was fully relaxed against her soft couch cushions. She tilted her head to the right, taking in the steady snowfall slowly piling up against her window, and her thoughts turned to her day with Jennie.

She still had no idea what prompted the change in her ex-girlfriend, but she could see how hard Jennie was trying to make amends. Jisoo frowned when she remembered how haggard she’d looked at lunch, like a part of her had given up—on what, she wasn’t sure. But the snow seemed to bring a little spark back into the designer.

Jisoo unfolded herself from the couch and headed back into the foyer, bundling herself back up in her long down jacket, gloves, and scarf. She grabbed her phone from the couch on her way to the door to her patio, which jutted off the living room. Finding already a thick layer of snow on the ground, she plopped down in the center of her backyard and swept her arms and legs back and forth until she was sure she’d adequately made her mark.

She scrambled up to her feet and pulled out her phone, snapping a picture of her snow angel.

 **Jisoo** (7:12 PM): [photo message] So you don’t have to make snow angels alone.

 **Jennie** (7:20 PM): [photo message] Kuma and Kai tried their best. Kuma got stuck in the snow (he’s the little brown puff next to my angel). 😊 😊 😊

The photo Jennie sent made laughter bubble out of Jisoo. On either side of Jennie’s angel were two deep, dog-shaped holes in the snow. Kuma was still neck-deep in the snow, his eyes wide in consternation, and Kai looked like he was wagging his tail happily next to his brother. She could almost hear the fit of giggles that undoubtedly cascaded through Jennie at her dogs’ expressions.

Jisoo hoped she'd made Jennie a little happier that night. She deserved to smile, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear, I wrote the Jennie snow scene before she posted her running around in the snow on insta 😂  
> (Also sorry to SeulRene shippers. My first instinct was to put Irene in the flashback scene but I forgot I'd already mentioned Irene as a person in the industry and the acrobatics involved to maintain continuity were just too much. Not sure how much I'll include them in the current scenes, but maybe I'll find a way for them to find each other aha)  
> Also! Don't worry, I know we haven't seen much of Rosie lately. I have a plan for her, no worries. Right now, our main babies need a little more attention bc their brains are too full of each other to function like normal humans. Poor Jisoo still thinks she's over Jennie 😅


	9. Endings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALRIGHT GUYS:  
> 1) Your comments and engagement with this fic have really kept this writing bug going. I pretty much wrote 80% of this next chapter in the 24 hours after I posted the last one because of your interactions and feedback. Thank you!!  
> 2) This chap is MOSTLY flashback. We're finally seeing what the f happened, and please be kind to Jennie. (Lol it's funny I always feel like it's easier to write Jisoo's POV until I got to angsty Jennie coming-of-age backstory and now I'm like yes I can write this)   
> 3) I know for a lot of western readers, it's hard to imagine parents having this much control over an adult kid's actions bc esp in the States, rebellion/consciously separating yourself from your parents is kind of expected to a certain degree. For many Asian households (speaking from my own experience and those of my friends), respect for our elders/parents/authority runs DEEP. It can be exceptionally hard to go against our parents. Just some food for thought as you read this chapter.  
> 4) Also in case it wasn't obvious before, Jennie's parents--names and all--are completely made up and not at all based in reality. (Like the rest of this fic lol)

_As winter faded into spring, the snow melted, and the first hesitant buds bloomed in the sunlight, Jennie felt more and more apprehension at the fast-approaching end of her schooling. She nibbled on her bottom lip, tapping her pen on her textbook as she prepared for her next round of midterms but utterly unable to bring herself to read the letters on the page._

_Jisoo’s laughter filtered through the air and drew Jennie’s attention even further from her studies, her eyes settling on her auburn-haired girlfriend grinning at one of her customers. She’d told Jennie that morning, while the younger was sprawled over her and refusing to let her get out of bed, that she had an audition for a supporting role in a miniseries that day. Jennie had yet to hear how it went, but judging from Jisoo’s ever-present bubbliness, she had a good feeling about it._

_“Hey.” Jisoo now stood in front of her, tapping Jennie on the forehead with her notepad. “Stalking me is not going to help you pass your midterms.”_

_Jennie smiled sheepishly. “You’re much less stressful to think about than tax law.”_

_Tilting her head, Jisoo leaned down and smoothed a thumb over Jennie’s furrowed forehead. “You look like you’re stressed about more than tax law.”_

_Jennie’s mind flashed back to her phone conversation with her mother earlier that day, but she shoved it down and grabbed Jisoo’s hand, gently kissing the back of it. “Just a lot on my mind about graduating. I don’t want to bother you about it.”_

_“That’s still a couple months away, Jendeukie,” Jisoo assured, squeezing Jennie’s hand in return. “Is joining your mom’s company really going to be that scary for you?”_

It’s not that part that I’m scared about _, Jennie thought. “I don’t want things to change,” she said instead. Shaking her head, she tugged Jisoo’s hand closer to her chest. “But enough about me. How did your audition go?”_

_Jisoo practically vibrated with excitement, but she looked over her shoulder at the busy coffeeshop. “Good, but I’ve got to go back to work. I’ll tell you about it tonight?”_

_Nodding, Jennie dropped Jisoo’s hand. “My place? I’ll order dumplings?”_

_“Cannibal,” Jisoo teased, poking her cheek and quickly retreating before Jennie could swat at her. Jisoo looked back over her shoulder with a wink. “You know when you pout like that, you become even more of a Mandu.”_

* * *

Lisa waved Rosé down as the singer entered the café. The blonde took in her surroundings with rapt interest on her way to the sofa by the fireplace. “This place is so cute,” Rosé gasped, hugging her friend. “How’d you find it?”

Lisa quickly ushered her to sit and raised a hand to the waiter to signal they were ready. “Jennie told me about it. Thought I’d check it out.”

“I feel like I haven’t seen you or her in ages,” Rosé pouted. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, just Jennie need a little help with some stuff, kept me pretty busy.”

The waiter came over, a chocolate brown apron hanging from his waist and a practiced smile on his face. “Welcome to Creature Comforts. May I get you something to drink?” He was halfway through his greeting when he seemed to register who exactly he was talking to, and Rosé bit back a laugh at his attempts to keep his voice steady.

“Yes, I’ll get an almond milk latte, please.” Rosé heard Lisa order a hot chocolate after her, and she waited until the waiter departed before she turned back to the model. “Creature Comforts, isn’t this where Jisoo used to work?”

“Oh, you’re right.” _Good thing you didn’t decide to go into acting, Lalisa. You’re terrible at it._ “I guess this must be where they met.”

Rosé narrowed her eyes. She had a sneaking suspicion Lisa intentionally chose this place specifically _because_ this is where Jisoo and Jennie met, but why? It wasn’t like they were very close back then. “Well, I certainly understand why Jennie would study here. It’s cozy,” she commented. “You’d think they would brag a little more about having Kim Jisoo as a former employee.”

Once again, Lisa seemed to know something she didn’t as she shrugged noncommittally. “Maybe she didn’t want people digging into her past.” The model leaned back into the couch cushions and cast her eyes around the warm coffeeshop. “I don’t blame her for wanting privacy. Sometimes I wish people didn’t know about my life from when I was a teenager.”

“I hear that,” Rosé agreed, swinging one foot up under her other leg. “The fact that we stayed relatively sane despite growing up as idols seems like some remarkable accomplishment, doesn’t it?”

Humming in response, Lisa seemed lost in thought. It was rare that she saw the bubbly woman so subdued. The waiter came over and dropped off their drinks, blushing madly when Rosé thanked him. As she picked up her own latte, she waited for her friend to do the same, but Lisa continued to stare into space.

“Lalisa?”

“I miss parts of that old life, though,” Lisa said quietly.

“Of idol life?”

Lisa nodded, finally seeming to register the steaming cup of hot chocolate on the coffee table in front of her. She leaned forward and grasped the ceramic cup in both hands. “I miss dancing.”

“Sometimes, I do, too,” Rosé agreed, but she knew she’d never had the knack for dancing the way Lisa did. Lisa danced like she was born to do it, like every breath she took was meant to lead into her next move. “Why don’t you?”

“Why don’t I what?”

“Dance.”

“I’m a model, Chaeng.”

Rosé sighed. What was she going to do with this friend of hers? “I’m _aware_ you’re a model, Lalisa. But that doesn’t mean you can’t still make dance videos. You know you still have such a huge following from our Pink Punk days.”

“I always hated that name,” Lisa said, looking at Rosé sideways. “But I suppose I could try to figure that out. Would you want to do a dance with me?”

“Me?”

Suddenly, it was like all the energy Lisa lacked was back in full force. She straightened and shifted on the cushions so she could turn fully to her former bandmate, a bright smile on her face. “Yeah! Think about it. What better way to kick off a new channel than with a mini-Pink Punk reunion? People would flip.”

The idea _was_ interesting. Rosé supposed she could work that in around her recording schedule. She was almost done with the album anyway. She just needed to actually get Jisoo into the studio with her for the last song. “Sure, why not?”

“Oh, my god, this will be great,” Lisa squealed, her eyes sparkling with so much glee that Rosé couldn’t help but grin along with her. “Ooh, it could be a thing! I could have a different guest dancer with me for each video!”

“I’ve created a monster.” Rosé ducked the throw pillow Lisa tried to whack her with, laughing. “But really, that sounds like a fantastic idea.”

Fortunately, Rosé had already deposited her half-drunk latte on the table by the time Lisa enveloped her in a vice-like embrace. “Chaeyoung, you never fail to inspire me.” She followed her words by attacking the blonde’s cheeks with loud kisses.

“Yah! Lalisa!”

“You know you love it.”

Rosé rolled her eyes, but she submitted to the taller woman and let her continue her affectionate assault.

* * *

_Jennie paced around her apartment, running her hand through her hair for what felt like the thousandth time as she, once again, tried to get through to her mother. “But I don’t understand why it has to happen at all, Mother.”_

_Minji’s voice was muffled at first, as if she’d covered the mouthpiece to talk to someone in her office first. Jennie ground her teeth at the clear indication this conversation was not her mother’s prime focus. “We’ve discussed this many times, Jennie. You’ve known this was coming.”_

_“But Kai doesn’t love me like that, and I don’t love him,” she argued. At this rate, she was going to wear a hole in her carpet before she got through to Kim Minji. “We don’t need to get married to keep our businesses working together.”_

_“This is about more than just business. You and Kai are equals, both intellectually and financially. You need that in a life partner.” Minji paused. “And you used to be okay with this arrangement. What’s changed?”_

_“I—” Jennie hesitated, taking a deep breath and forged on. “I have someone already.”_

_The other side of the phone line was deathly silent. “Oh?” Minji’s voice came in clear as day, now fully focused on the phone call, and Jennie found herself wishing she was distracted once again. “Do tell.”_

_“I—we’ve been together for almost five months already, and—” Jennie squeezed her eyes shut— “Iloveher.” The words came out in a rush. Jennie felt like she was going to vomit, but there was no taking it back now._

_One second passed, two, three, with not a sound from the other end of the line. “Mom?” Jennie asked tentatively. “Are you still there?”_

_“I have to go.”_

_The line went dead._

_That night, Jisoo tried time and time again to get Jennie to smile. She brought home Jennie’s favorite dessert—milk ice cream—but Jennie ate it listlessly. She peppered Jennie’s face with kisses when they got ready for bed, and Jennie merely clung to her shoulders as if they were the only things grounding her. She slipped her hand under the bottom of Jennie’s t-shirt when they laid next to each other in bed, her touch bringing only the slightest awareness back to the brunette._

_“You know you can tell me what’s bothering you, right?” Jisoo’s low voice whispered in her ear as they lay together in the dark._

_Jennie found Jisoo’s hand and rubbed it with her own. “It’s nothing.”_

_“It doesn’t feel like nothing.”_

_She could hear the hurt in her girlfriend’s voice, the insecurity that maybe Jennie didn’t trust her enough to confide in her. Turning to face Jisoo, Jennie brushed away the hair from her face. She sighed. “I told my mom I was seeing someone today.”_

_Even in the dark, she saw Jisoo’s eyes widen. “And?”_

_“I told her you were a ‘her,’” Jennie said. “And she hung up.”_

_Wordlessly, Jisoo scooted forward, pulling Jennie in for a bone-breaking hug. “That was so brave of you.” She kissed the junction of Jennie’s neck and shoulder. “Maybe it was just a shock to her. Maybe she just needs some time to process it.”_

_Jennie felt her eyes fogging, unable to believe Jisoo’s hypothetical. She was certain this would not be the last she heard on the matter._

* * *

_Jennie felt very small as she sat on the sofa in front of her parents, her hands perched on her knees while theirs rested on folded arms in front of their chests._

_“I don’t understand,” she said, knowing she was barely audible even in the room where she could hear a pin drop._

_Minji cleared her throat, looking to her husband to speak. Kim Sung-Ho appeared more than uncomfortable, the hospital administrator much more suited to conference rooms of healthcare professionals than to discussions of his daughter’s romantic life. “We have had someone look into your…significant other, and unfortunately she is not a suitable candidate to marry into this family.”_

_“Why not?” She had a feeling she knew, but hoped it was any other reason._

_“First off, she’s trying to be an actress?” Her father tried to keep his tone as kind as possible, but there was no kind way to tell one’s child to break up with the love of their life. “You have to realize you are a woman of means, Jennie, and you are too trusting of others who may want to take advantage of you.”_

_Jennie scoffed, her need to defend Jisoo superseding her need to defer to her parents. “We’ve been together for six months, Dad. We spend almost every night together. I would have known by now if she was only with me for the money.”_

_“Well, that’s the other part,” Minji spoke up, her mouth twisted as if she’d tasted something unpleasant. “You’re going to be the face of JK Designs one day. Even now, as soon as you join the company, people will know JK is your namesake. People will not understand if you marry a woman. It’s just not done.”_

_“It’s done all the time,” Jennie mumbled, feeling herself to start to lose her battle with her tears. “If JK is going to be developed in my image, why can’t it reflect who I am?”_

_“You are not gay, young lady,” Minji said sharply. “We did not raise you to be that way.”_

_Jennie felt like she’d been slapped, and her face darkened. “It’s not a_ behavior _I_ learned _, Mother.”_

 _“Regardless of where you picked it up,” Minji cut her off with a wave of her hand. “There is no future for JK Designs if you continue to associate with_ that _kind of person.”_

_“What are you saying?”_

_Sung-Ho placed a hand on his wife’s shoulder. “We are saying you need to choose what matters to you, pumpkin.” He walked forward and bent down to take one of Jennie’s hands, his gentle demeanor doing little to soften the blow of his words. “This would ruin us as a family. All your mother has built in your name would go to waste, not to mention it would completely interfere with your friend’s efforts to become an actress.”_

_Whipping her hand out of her father’s, Jennie leaned back on the couch to put as much distance between them as possible. “You can’t go after her career,” she warned. “She’s done nothing wrong.”_

_“What she’s done to you_ is _wrong,” Minji insisted. “She’s threatening your future, and this family’s by extension.” She looked down at her phone. “I work with a number of studio executives, and I heard she is being considered for the final round of callbacks for a miniseries.”_

_“Mother,” Jennie growled, begging her not to finish her thought._

_“It would be a shame for her to lose that opportunity—and many others—because people found out she was a lesbian.” She said the last word like it was something dirty._

_“Don’t—”_

_Minji continued, unbothered by her daughter’s desperate interruption. “Or, I could have one of those studio heads put in a call to the casting director on her behalf. If you agree to break things off and announce your engagement to Kai at your graduation party.”_

_Every word out of her mother’s mouth drove the nail deeper into Jennie’s heart. She knew she was breathing too quickly, that she would pass out if she didn’t get control of herself. But she couldn’t be the reason Jisoo’s dreams were irreversibly crushed. She_ could not _do that to her. She knew her mother’s pull. She could make sure Jisoo got that callback. And she could stay quiet. She could help keep Jisoo from giving up her dream and going home to sell flowers with her parents._

_“Okay.”_

* * *

_Jisoo was worried about Jennie._

_Over the last few months, she’d watched her girlfriend slowly withdraw further and further into herself. Nothing Jisoo tried seemed to be helping. She initially chalked it up to stress over graduating and all the realities that came with that. Then Jennie told her she’d come out to her mother—only to be greeted with a less than enthusiastic reception. She’d held her that night and every night since, rubbing her back and trying to get her to stop waiting for the other shoe to drop._

_Now, Jennie stopped coming to her apartment altogether. She didn’t object when Jisoo would show up at her door, food and wine in hand. She would kiss Jisoo back, and she was maybe even more enthusiastic than usual when their nights became more physical. There were times Jennie kissed her stomach with utter reverence, ran her fingers along Jisoo’s legs as if memorizing the texture of her skin, drank in the sight of Jisoo’s pleasure as a starving man drank in the sight of food. She refused to let Jisoo return the favor some nights, insisting her only happiness was in satisfying Jisoo._

_But she wouldn’t_ talk _to Jisoo. She would deflect, and she’d focus on Jisoo’s auditions. She kept telling Jisoo she felt like Landfall would be her big break. While Jisoo could agree that she’d never gotten this far in the callback process before, it felt a little premature to say she had the role when she was still waiting to hear if she was invited for the final round of auditions. Jennie did everything she could to help her prepare for the audition in any case, reading lines with her instead of studying for her finals. It took Jisoo forcing her to study, parking her on the couch in Creature Comforts while Jisoo brought her food and coffee, to get her through those last two weeks of school._

_It was all worth it when Jennie entered the café one afternoon in June, smiling triumphantly. “I just took my last final ever,” she declared, but for some reason her voice wavered._

_By now, her boss was more than aware of their relationship, and Jisoo paid him no mind when she went over to Jennie and gathered her into a tight hug, even lifting her off her feet for a few seconds. “Congratulations, my Jendeukie,” she whispered. Putting Jennie down, she pulled back just enough to look her girlfriend in the eye. “How should we celebrate?”_

_“My parents’ party is tomorrow, so how about we just spend the night at your place tonight?” Jennie’s eyes shone with…tears?_

_One escaped her lid, and Jisoo quickly wiped it away, stroking Jennie’s cheek as she did so. “Hey, why the waterworks?”_

_“I just love you so much,” Jennie said, squeezing her eyes closed again and forcing more tears trailing down her face. She turned her head into Jisoo’s hand, placing a feather-light kiss in her palm._

_“I love you, too, Mandeuk,” Jisoo teased, pinching Jennie’s cheek in an effort to provoke at least a half-hearted smile. Somehow, Jennie’s tears only intensified, as did Jisoo’s concern. “Jennie.”_

_Jennie shook her head violently, looking down at her feet while a hand reached up and interlaced fingers with Jisoo’s. “I’m okay, just overwhelmed by everything.” She leaned in and gave Jisoo a quick peck—but she lingered for half an instant longer than she usually did. “I’ll see you tonight.”_

_The rest of the shift passed in a blur, Jisoo unable to think of anything other than Jennie’s odd behavior. What in the world could be making her so sad? And why couldn’t Jisoo seem to make her feel better?_

_Right before her shift ended, she got a text from the casting director of Landfall, inviting her for the final callbacks to take place the following Monday. Jennie would be ecstatic, she knew. She’d be so excited to spend all of tomorrow and the next day helping her to prepare, save for the time they’d spend at her graduation party tomorrow night. For some reason, she knew this would make Jennie feel better, even if she couldn’t yet tell Jisoo what was wrong in the first place._

_When Jisoo got home that night, she expected Jennie to already be there, but the apartment was pitch-dark._

_“Jendeukie?” she called out, only to get no response. She turned on her kitchen light to see the biggest bouquet of flowers she’d ever laid eyes on sitting on her counter. A folded piece of paper sat next to them, the spare key Jisoo had given Jennie so many months ago resting atop it. Jisoo felt her heart wanting to bounce right of her chest as she reached for it._

My dearest Jichu,

I love you so much. So much. You have no idea how much I love you. I hope you know that.

I’m a coward. I couldn’t face you tonight, knowing what I had to do. I’m sure by now you’ve gotten your callback for Landfall. You absolutely deserve that part, and I want you to go after it with everything you’ve got. You’re going to get it. I just have a feeling.

These last seven—really nine, if you count the time we weren’t dating yet—months with you have been the best months of my life. No one ever made me feel as seen as you did. As loved as you did. I never felt butterflies before you, did you know that? You stunned me from the very beginning, and I didn’t have a chance after I met you. You are the only person I’ve ever loved, and I think it’s going to stay that way.

I’m already crying, so I’ll keep this short. My parents don’t accept the fact that I love you. My family would be ruined if I stayed with you, according to them. But the _worst_ thing is, if I stayed with you, _I_ would be the reason you don’t achieve your dreams. I don’t want to stand in the way of your greatness, because the world deserves to see it, too. You’re so close, but if you were seen with me, you’d never get the chance.

It was inevitable, really, with the way our lives are going, isn’t it? I love you to the moon and back, Kim Jisoo, but we have to end this now, before either of us get even more attached.

Please don’t call me. I don’t think I could take it.

I’ll be looking out for you when Landfall premieres. It will make my heart so happy to see you living out your potential.

I think I’ll love you forever. Goodbye. I hope you find happiness.

Your Jendeukie.

 _Jisoo had no idea when she’d fallen to the floor, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. Her heart felt like it was being ripped in two as she clutched the letter to her chest, sobs violently tearing out of her body. Why hadn’t Jennie just_ talked _to her? They could have worked around the societal issues if she landed a big role. They could have figured things out. Jennie didn’t have to leave. Why did she have to leave?_

_Tears dotted the paper in her hands, some old and some fresh. She pressed the paper to her forehead, digging her palms into her eyes to try to stem the flow of moisture to no avail. She scrambled for her phone, unlocking the screen that showed her, cheek to cheek with Jennie, smiling as if she didn’t have a care in the world. She clicked Jennie’s name and held the phone to her ear._

_It immediately went to voicemail._

_Jisoo tried again._

_Voicemail again._

_She quickly typed out a message, alternating between texting and calling._

**_Jichu_** 💕 _(8:58 PM): Jendeukie, please pick up._

 ** _Jichu_** 💕 _(8:59 PM): Kim Jennie, you cannot break up with me in a letter. Please pick up._

 ** _Jichu_** 💕 _(8:59 PM): I love you. We can’t be done yet. Please call me. Let’s talk._

_She stared at her phone for over an hour, never getting the answer she wanted. She fell asleep on the tiled floor, clutching her phone and the tear-stained letter._

* * *

“So how’s it going with Sunmi?” Jinyoung asked, making sure to move his lips as little as possible as he swung Jisoo’s hand while they walked. They’d taken to public, casual outings like this every week or two to keep up appearances, but it also served as an opportunity to catch up when Jinyoung’s shooting schedule got too busy.

Jisoo gave a slight shrug, but she did nothing to hide the small smile on her face. “She’s great, Jin. She made me dinner last night.”

“Was it any good?”

“No, it tasted like ash,” Jisoo laughed. “We ended up ordering in after that, but it was very sweet of her to try.”

“And is that the only thing you _ate_?”

“ _Park Jinyoung_!” Jisoo gasped, using her free hand to punch him in the arm. Her cheeks felt like they were on fire, only worsening when Jinyoung broke out into riotous laughter. She punched him again for good measure. “Not that you at all have any right to know, _no_ , we have _not_ gotten to that stage yet.”

“But soon, right?” Jinyoung sounded way too eager for Jisoo’s liking. “Be honest, how long has it been, Jichu?” Jisoo refused to answer, shaking her head and dropping Jinyoung’s hand so she could hide her face in both of hers. She soon felt the actor’s arm drape over her shoulder, bringing her into his side, where she could still feel the remnants of his laughter shaking his body. “Ah, that’s my sexually repressed fake-girlfriend.” Jisoo punched him lightly in the chest this time. “Okay, okay, I’ll stop. But seriously, have you even done anything other than kiss?”

Jisoo lifted her head from his shoulder, halfheartedly glaring at her friend. “We’re taking things slow.”

“Glacial, more like it,” Jinyoung teased. “Are you even wanting to do more?”

Biting her lip, Jisoo felt guilty for shaking her head. “I like where we are right now,” she said eventually. “I feel safe with her, but I feel like I’m still getting to know her.”

“Ah, and that’s where you and I are very different, Jichu.” Jinyoung raised his head to squint at the crosswalk signal. “I don’t want to wait until I get to know someone to _get to know_ someone.” He wiggled his eyebrows as if he just told the cleverest joke in the world, missing Jisoo’s exasperated sigh as he guided them across the street. “If the attraction’s there, I want to touch them 24/7.”

“That’s because you’re a guy, and you’re horny 24/7,” Jisoo muttered, vaguely registering Jinyoung’s amused acknowledgment. But she knew he had a point. She knew because she’d felt that way before. Just not with Sunmi.

“Fine, changing the subject. How’s it going with Jennie?”

Grinning, Jisoo tilted her head up so she could see Jinyoung’s face. “I don’t know what happened, but she’s different now. She’s actually opening up and telling me things, and I feel like I understand her side so much more now.”

“Oh, really? How so?”

“Like she couldn’t stand up to her parents back then, and I always wondered—was I not important enough? Did we not matter enough?”

Jinyoung looked down at Jisoo in surprise. “And did she actually tell you otherwise?”

“Well, not in so many words, but I understand why it was so hard for her to go against her parents now, or at least part of why,” Jisoo explained, not wanting to go into too much detail to protect Jennie’s privacy. “And we’ve been talking a lot since she apologized. She’s making an effort, and that tells me we mattered to her.”

“That’s it? You have no more questions?” Jisoo looked up at Jinyoung, who nudged her closer with his arm to get her attention. “That fixes everything?”

Shaking her head, Jisoo dropped her gaze to the icy ground. “No, it doesn’t. I still have a thousand questions about how it ended, but for the first time Jennie seems willing to answer them. It’s a start.”

“And…rehashing all of that doesn’t make you upset?”

She found it hard to feel sad when Jennie kept texting her pictures of her insane dogs, or angry when Jennie grinned like a four-year-old at Jisoo dropping by her office while she had a meeting nearby. If Jisoo was being totally honest with herself, the sheer relief she felt at not having every moment with Jennie be dripping with tension and just getting to enjoy being in her company again…She wanted to appreciate it for a little longer before she demanded more. “Not so far,” she said after a moment. She felt Jinyoung’s eyes hyperfocused on her face, looking for any sign of discomfort, but Jisoo simply sent him a serene smile. “In fact, I think we’re really going to nail this whole ‘exes as friends’ thing.”

Jinyoung snorted, not buying a word of it. “Jichu, one day you’re going to have to deal with it.”

“Deal with what?”

He fixed her with a solemn stare. “With your feelings about Jennie.”

“What feelings?” Jisoo felt silly as soon as the words were out of her mouth, hearing the blatant lie in the question. How many times had she told herself that she’d moved on? And yet—

“Don’t think I didn’t notice that you got way more excited talking about Jennie than you did talking about Sunmi.”

* * *

_“Excuse me, Miss?”_

_Jennie turned to see one of the waiters who’d tapped her elbow, obviously uneasy at having to interrupt the honoree with her guests. “Yes?”_

_“There’s a woman outside at the gate who refuses to leave until she talks to you,” he said._

_Looking around the party, Jennie found her parents across the way, cheerfully catching up with none other than her future in-laws, a resigned-appearing Kai in tow. They would probably be occupied for some time. “Did this woman give a name?” she asked the trembling waiter._

_The waiter shook his head, handing her an envelope. “She said to give you this, and you’d know.”_

_Jennie opened the envelope, finding the letter she’d written Jisoo, with quite a few more tear stains and smoothed out wrinkles. Inhaling sharply to keep the moisture from her eyes, she nodded to the boy in front of her. “Thank you. I’ll handle this.”_

_She barely registered the waiter’s sigh of relief, having already made her way to the edge of the garden, doing her best to remain in the unlit areas so she could sneak out to the front entrance._

_There Jisoo stood, in a simple summer frock, looking more lost than she’d ever seen her, her doe eyes shimmering in the moonlight as she searched for any sign of Jennie. When Jennie stepped into the light, Jisoo rushed forward._

_“Jennie, you need to talk to me,” she pleaded, her hands finding Jennie’s._

_Hyperaware as she was of the security guards her parents hired for her graduation party, Jennie led the other girl into a small copse. The trees hid them from prying eyes and—Jennie hoped—ears. She handed Jisoo back the envelope. “Everything I had to say was in here,” she choked._

_“That letter said nothing,” Jisoo said, heat entering her voice as she swatted the offending paper away. “Is this about your parents not accepting you? Because we could—”_

_“This is what’s best for both of us, Jisoo,” Jennie cut her off firmly. She hardened herself against the too-bright eyes of her gir—ex-girlfriend. She’d never once seen Jisoo cry, and she was sure she wouldn’t be able to handle it if she saw it now. She had to leave quickly. “I’m only going to hurt you.”_

_“_ This _is hurting me, Jennie,” Jisoo argued. She reached for Jennie again. “Just, please tell me what happened.” Jennie felt her resolve crumble when Jisoo’s skin touched hers, fingers ghosting up her arms and into her hair. She had no choice but to look Jisoo in the eye, to see the unshed tears gathered just on the brink of falling. “You haven’t been yourself for months, and I kept hoping you’d tell me when you were ready. But this can’t be it. You can’t end us like this.”_

 _Jennie felt herself quake under Jisoo’s touch, her gaze. She knew Jisoo wouldn’t give up so easily. It was one of the ways Jisoo made her feel so safe. Jisoo loved fiercely and loyally, and she would go to the ends of the earth to protect that love. But Jennie couldn’t—she_ couldn’t _let her do that. Pushing forward, she captured Jisoo’s lips for one final time, stepping forward until the latter was leveraged against a tree trunk. Jennie delved her tongue into Jisoo’s mouth, tasting her and committing everything about her lips to memory. Jisoo clung to her desperately, kissing her back with as much fervor. It was only when a lack of oxygen demanded they part that Jennie pulled back, panting hard as she tried to gather the courage to say what she had to. What would hurt Jisoo enough to stop. “You’ll only hold me back,” Jennie growled, her heart shattering as she felt Jisoo stiffen. “I’m not in school anymore, Jisoo. I have to focus on my future, and you can’t be in it.”_

_She jerked back, closing her eyes before she could see the tears finally fall down Jisoo’s cheeks. Jisoo didn’t say a word, shell shocked from what Jennie said to her. Turning her back on the other girl, Jennie put every ounce of her energy into placing one foot in front of the other and not allowing herself to turn back. She frantically wiped away at her own face, knowing she had but mere minutes until she had to be seen smiling as Kai put a ring on her finger._

_She left her heart in that grove that night, with a woman whose cries she did her best not to hear. She kept walking, knowing her family needed her to fulfill the role they’d planned for her. She still had her family at least. She couldn’t let them down._

* * *

Pulling out the dusty, leatherbound album from the back of her closet, Jennie sat on the floor of her room and wiped off the cover. Her fingers traced the letters on the front, _To my Jendeukie, a place for all your beautiful pictures_. Opening the album, she really had filled it front to back with pictures taken in her final semester of school. Jisoo’s smiling face graced almost every page, but every once in a while, she’d have wrestled the camera out of Jennie’s hands so she could be in some pictures, too.

She looked happy in those pictures.

As she flipped through the pages, her mind drifted to her conversation with Jisoo the other day about her parents. She did give her parents an immense amount of control over her life; she always had. She remembered her first conversation with Jisoo ever, when she’d told Jisoo her life plan.

 _It’s my mom’s plan, really. I just never really had a reason to deviate from it_.

Jisoo should have been the reason to deviate. Jennie remembered the despair she felt in the final few months of their relationship, knowing there was an expiration date to their happiness. Knowing she was too weak to fight that expiration date. The closer time marched until graduation, the closer to tears Jennie got every time she spent too long looking at Jisoo. Jennie turned to the next page, pausing at one of her favorite pictures of Jisoo, which she’d taken while the other slept in one morning. The sunlight had danced off Jisoo’s hair, making the crimson strands stand out brilliantly as they framed a serenely beautiful face.

She ran her thumb back and forth over the photo. She was passive last time about losing the most important person in her life. _No,_ she corrected herself, _about_ giving up _the most important person in my life_.

She wasn’t going to make that mistake again. If Jisoo wanted to be happy with Sunmi, Jennie was going to do her damnedest to protect that. But short of that, Jennie needed to be the best possible friend to her as possible. She needed to be ready to answer painful questions if Jisoo asked them, knowing they were coming sooner or later. She knew Jisoo would ask them in her own time, when she felt she could handle hearing them.

She pulled the picture out of its sleeve and placed it on the floor next to her. The edge of the photo knocked into the coaster from Creature Comforts Lisa managed to swipe for her yesterday. She continued flipping through pages, pulling out pictures here and there. She recalled how hopeless Jisoo sounded that night at the afterparty, when she thought she didn’t mean as much to Jennie as she did. She hoped to prove to Jisoo once and for all that wasn’t the case, and so she needed visual aids ready for the day Jisoo needed reminding.

Jisoo seemed to be putting her own heart back together with Sunmi’s help. But Jennie knew there were still wounds that would take longer to heal. Wounds she left. Wounds it was her duty to mend.

She’d just deposited the small pile of memorabilia on her desk when her phone alarm chimed, reminding her of her appointment to meet with Kai at the wedding planner’s office. She looked at the calendar alert grimly. All day she’d agonized over how she would truly prove to Jisoo she’d grown up and learned from her mistakes, and here it was on her phone screen.

Step one in making things up to Jisoo: stop making excuses and end her engagement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hides* (Pls lmk your thoughts)
> 
> (Also PSA: i'm back at work, and starting later this week shit's gonna get SUPER busy for the next two weeks and I may be super burnt out. Sometimes writing helps and other times I don't have the energy so tbd on how long the next update will take)


	10. Construction Paper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, slightly shorter update than usual because it's where the chapter demanded it end lol. Also because today's my only day off and I wanted to get this out before I go back to my 70-hour work week 😅. Enjoy this pretty Jisoo-centric chapter! Our poor girl is so confused.

The music faded out, and Rosé tried to control her labored breathing as she maintained her final pose. The enthusiastic clapping coming from the side of the room was enough feedback for her to relax—and immediately punch Lisa in the arm.

“Yah! What was that for?” Lisa squealed as she cradled her not-at-all injured arm, her voice projecting far too well because she was—rudely—barely even sweating.

“For roping me into this,” Rosé answered, holding her platinum blonde hair away from her neck. “I haven’t danced like this since our idol days. I am _very_ out of shape.”

Lisa’s face lit up as they walked over to the side of the dance studio. “But isn’t it so much fun to be doing it again? I feel like I’m alive again.”

“You both looked amazing!” Jisoo cheered, holding out a bottle of water for Rosé.

Jennie nodded in agreement from her position sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with Jisoo on the floor. “I was going to say hot.”

While Rosé focused on getting as much of that bottle of water in her body as quickly as possible, she heard Lisa jump up and down in excitement. “You really think so?” the model asked. The woman had too much energy.

“Unnie, what’s that?” Rosé pointed to a little booklet in Jisoo’s hands, which oddly made the older girl blush and quickly shove the item in question into her bag.

“Nothing important,” she said, but her eyes darted to the brunette beside her. “When are you guys going to film?”

Looking at her partner in crime, Rosé shrugged. “Maybe next week? Once I stop sucking at the choreo?”

Lisa rolled her eyes and looped her arm around the blonde’s neck. “You don’t suck already, Chaeyoungie,” she insisted. “I booked the studio and lighting guys for Monday.”

Three days. Rosé almost choked on her water. “Are you crazy! I’m not ready!”

“Then I guess we better keep practicing,” Lisa smirked, dropping her arm from Rosé’s shoulders to pat her on the butt. “Break’s over, lazybones.”

“And then we’re getting lunch, right?” Jisoo asked after the leggy model had already jogged to the middle of the floor. “Yah! Lalisa! You promised me food if I came and watched you practice!”

“Lisa! You promised her food?” Jennie asked, affronted. “You promised me nothing of the sort.”

“I like Jisoo unnie better than you, obviously.” Lisa stuck out her tongue at the girls. “Chaeng, you coming?”

Throughout the next half hour of practice, the singer couldn’t help but ponder the pair leaning against the wall. From the way they whispered and smiled and touched each other every so often, she’d have guessed they were longtime friends. But then there were fleeting moments where one would be watching the two former idols’ dance practice…and the other would be watching her. She saw Jennie’s face best due to the angle of the reflection in the dance mirror, and suffice it to say, the woman’s eyes all but sparkled when they had the opportunity to stare at Jisoo uninterrupted.

And she could have sworn she saw Jisoo’s cheeks redden.

* * *

Waving goodbye to the girls, Jisoo ducked into the waiting car, a hand on her very full stomach as soon as she leaned back on the leather seat. _I need to work this little food baby off at some point_. She couldn’t bring herself to feel guilty though, having enjoyed every last bite of the extensive brunch she shared laughing and chatting with her friends.

She let her head fall to the side, watching the snow-covered buildings slowly pass her by as the car ambled its way through midday traffic. Digging into her bag for her lip balm, her fingers brushed the rough texture of construction paper instead, and she pulled out the booklet Jennie had given her before they walked into the dance studio this morning.

_“Hey, wait up!”_

_Jisoo paused, letting go of the door handle when she heard Jennie’s voice behind her. “Hey, I didn’t know you were coming today.”_

_“Yeah, Lisa wanted me to see their dance. Actually, I’m glad I caught you beforehand.” Jennie looked at the glass door as if it would open of its own volition before guiding Jisoo a few feet to the side. “I have something for you.” Reaching into her bag, she pulled out what appeared to be a colorful, handmade booklet._

_“What’s that?”_

_“I meant what I said earlier.”_

_Jisoo huffed, trying to maintain her patience with this apparent game of twenty questions. “What do you mean?”_

_“That I want to be better about talking to you. About everything. So that you can be happy and not keep wondering about what happened.”_

_“Oh.”_

_Jennie shoved the booklet into Jisoo’s hands. Jisoo looked down to see the familiar loopy scrawl on the cover that read_ Brutal Honesty Coupons _. She raised her eyes back to Jennie, her head tilted in an unspoken question._

_“Whenever you feel ready, you hand me a coupon, and I’ll tell you what you want to know. Without trying to defend myself.” Jisoo’s mouth dropped open, and Jennie tried not to focus on how pretty she looked when she did that. “I ended things badly—actually, terribly—no, in the worst way possible. You deserve to know it wasn’t because of anything you did. So, whenever you need answers. Use the coupons.”_

Jisoo opened the booklet, feeling the corner of her mouth quirking upward at the detail Jennie had so meticulously included on every coupon. What a very _Jennie_ thing to do. She couldn’t help but smile sadly at the pages. Of course, Jennie would find a way to make her something. She always loved creating things. She said it was easier for her to communicate by making things for the people she cared about than by actually talking. And here she was, making Jisoo something to get Jennie to talk to her.

She’d decided to test it out while they waited for Lisa and Rosé to change for brunch. She’d tugged a bright pink coupon out of her bag and handed it to Jennie, knowing she had to keep it short as they didn’t have much time.

_“When did you get engaged to Kai?”_

_Jennie didn’t blink, letting Jisoo glimpse the guilt lurking behind her feline eyes. “The night of my graduation party.”_

Ever since learning about Kai two months ago, Jisoo had an inkling as to the actual timing of their betrothal. She’d decided to ask that question first because she thought it would hurt the least to just hear confirmation of what she already knew. She was right—but she’d still felt a mild, twisting, stabbing pain in her chest. But Jennie was staring at her, eyebrows raised in earnest, so clearly hoping she’d made the right call in giving Jisoo the coupons. So Jisoo had taken a deep, cleansing breath and nudged the girl beside her with her shoulder. When Rosé and Lisa came out of the changing rooms, Jisoo had brushed herself off and stood up, offering Jennie a hand to help her up.

Even if it was about the biggest heartbreak of her life, that colorful little booklet felt like a blessing.

* * *

For the second time that week, Jisoo found herself almost horizontal on Sunmi’s couch. The elder actress hovered over Jisoo, her lips slowly making their way down Jisoo’s neck. “You know you can touch me, too, right?” Sunmi whispered, her warm breath wafting deliciously across Jisoo’s collarbone.

Jisoo hummed, using her grip in Sunmi’s hair to guide her mouth back up to hers. Sunmi’s kisses were soft, but insistent, and Jisoo let herself push up into the kiss a little more this time, pulling Sunmi’s face closer to hers. “Sorry, I keep getting distracted,” Jisoo said as they parted, biting her lip at the way Sunmi’s eyes roved over her body. “There’s this girl whose lips just make me forget everything else.”

Smirking, Sunmi lifted a hand to brush away a stray hair from Jisoo’s face. “Did you just flirt with me, Kim Jisoo?”

“I guess you’re rubbing off on me.” Jisoo blushed at the way Sunmi’s eyes darkened at her choice of words. “Get your mind out of the gutter.”

“You’re literally _under_ me and saying things like _rubbing off on you_.” Sunmi resumed her trail down Jisoo’s neck. “Where did you expect my mind to go?”

Jisoo didn’t answer her, focusing instead of the pleasant thrum of energy flowing through her body with every brush of the other woman’s lips. She slowly let her hands descend from Sunmi’s hair, one slipping under the collar of her blouse and curling her fingers into the skin of her back. Her other ghosted along Sunmi’s side, barely brushing the swell of her breasts on its way to clutching her waist and bringing the other woman’s lower half flush against hers.

“Someone’s bold tonight.” Sunmi sounded pleased, nipping lightly at the skin just behind Jisoo’s ear.

Not wanting to send the wrong message, Jisoo pushed just lightly enough to get Sunmi to look her in the eye. “I’m not ready yet,” she sighed, leaning up to kiss away the clearly frustrated pout that appeared on Sunmi’s face. “But I’m getting there.”

Sunmi let her all her weight relax onto Jisoo, her forehead resting on the younger’s shoulder. “You’re really lucky I like you so much,” she groaned, softening the words with a peck to the bare skin there.

“Yes, I am,” Jisoo said, and she wrapped her arms around Sunmi’s back, enjoying the pressure of the actress’s body on hers. “Thank you for waiting.”

She felt Sunmi’s hands wiggle under her shoulders to return the hug. “I’m a fuckin' saint, just so you know. Have you _seen_ you?”

While the two twisted so they laid facing each other on the couch, Jisoo tried to bury her bright red face in Sunmi’s shirt. “I swear, Sunmi, you make me feel like I’m 16 again with the amount you make me blush.”

“When you were watching videos of me dancing in schoolgirl outfits?” Sunmi teased, laughing when she felt Jisoo try to burrow even further into her chest. “But really, babe, are you ever going to tell me why you’re needing to take things so slowly?” She shifted further back into the couch cushions to try to catch Jisoo’s eye. “I’m…not your first girlfriend, am I?”

 _Girlfriend_. Jisoo supposed that was an appropriate term, but it still surprised her hearing Sunmi say it. They’d been seeing each other multiple times a week for almost a month, after all. “No, you’re not,” Jisoo said, her voice growing more serious. “I just…you’re the first after my ex.”

Sunmi lowered her voice to match Jisoo’s, and she slowly started tracing circles on Jisoo’s back. “How long since you broke up?”

“About three years,” Jisoo admitted, the feeling of Sunmi’s fingers on her back immediately sending her back to countless memories of Jennie doing the same whenever they would curl up on her couch together. “It was…we were serious, and it ended suddenly.” She blinked away the fog in her eyes, reminding herself of exactly who was nestled into the cushions with her. “It’s taken me a while to feel comfortable dating again.”

Sunmi leaned forward and deposited a gentle kiss on either of Jisoo’s cheeks. “Thank you for trusting me enough to try again.” Pulling back, she bit the inside of her bottom lip. “I know how scary that is.”

“You do?”

They spent the rest of the night tangled together on the couch, talking about their exes. They didn’t mention names, but it still felt like a relief to tell Sunmi her baggage and to help the other woman carry her own. It was the first time Jisoo felt she saw behind the flirtatious, glamorous guise of the woman she was dating—well, of her girlfriend.

It was also the first time Jisoo felt like they really _talked_. She fell asleep on Sunmi’s couch that night, with Sunmi’s arms safely wrapped around her.

* * *

“Are you sure you’re ready to do this?” Kai asked as they stood in front of Jennie’s parents’ house.

Staring directly ahead at the ominous, oak-paneled door, Jennie nodded and grabbed Kai’s hand for support. “I am.”

“We never figured out a plan.”

“The plan is we tell them the truth, that we’re not in love and aren’t willing to settle for that anymore.”

“And if they ask questions?” Kai squeezed her hand, tugging her just enough to turn her gaze toward him. “If they try what they did last time?”

“That’s what these files are for,” Jennie said, lifting her briefcase and letting it swing into her stomach. “Proof that JK Designs would do fine—even profit—if it became affiliated with the LGBTQ+ movement. But I doubt it will come up. My mom doesn’t know Jisoo is my ex-girlfriend.”

“I still can’t believe you managed to keep _that_ a secret,” Kai whistled. He’d nearly taken her head off when she finally told him everything, calling her every variation of an idiot for letting Jisoo fall for someone else when she’d had so many opportunities to fix things. He threw at least three pillows at her when she told him one of the reasons she didn’t tell him was because Rei was still in Japan. _We’re not married yet, Jennie. My lack of a love life isn’t yet yours to share until death do us part!_ “How has she not made the connection yet?”

“My best guess is she never bothered to learn her name in the first place, or she forgot all about her after she made the call to the casting director because she’d gotten what she needed.” She saw Kai’s eyebrows raise, still not used to her speaking so jadedly about her parents. “Do you think your parents will give us trouble?”

Kai brushed the back of his head uneasily. “I don’t know. They were pretty gung-ho about the deal years ago, but the company’s grown a lot on its own just with the promise of our marriage. I don’t know that we _need_ to get married anymore.”

“I hope we can convince my parents of that, too,” Jennie said, facing the door once again with a grim expression. “We’re best friends. We’ll keep our companies friendly no matter what.” She felt Kai’s squeeze of affirmation, and with that, she stepped forward and rang the doorbell. “Here goes nothing.”

* * *

The sound of crinkling paper made Jisoo look down as she closed her door behind her. Under her foot laid a large manila envelope, with Rosé’s bubbly handwriting evident in the address. Taking the envelope with her to the kitchen, she dropped her bag on the counter and broke the seal. Out fell a small note as well as a USB, bouncing lightly on the marble.

 _Don’t think I forgot you agreed to sing with me!_ _Hehe, as soon as I’m done with this dance with Lisa I am dragging you into the studio with me, so study up on the demo I gave you. Your voice is gonna sound so good on this, I can’t wait. -Xoxo Rosie_

Jisoo couldn’t help the resigned chuckle that fell past her lips as she read the note. She had to hand it to Rosé—the girl sure was stubborn. Biting back her own insecurities about her voice, she picked up the USB and curled up on her couch with her laptop.

As Rosé’s light voice filtered out of the speakers, Jisoo pulled up the lyrics also included in the file. A melancholic calm descended over her the more she listened to the track. It was really a beautiful song. The music moved easily, the unique blend of the upbeat tempo with Rosé’s delicate vocals and at times wistful lyrics tugging at something in Jisoo’s chest. She didn’t know if she’d be able to sing it, but she suddenly very much wanted to.

Letting the song play on repeat, Jisoo stood and retrieved her phone from her bag.

 **Jisoo** (4:26 PM): Sigh, fine. Don’t blame me if you get complaints about my voice on the track though.

 **Chaeyoung** (4:28 PM): YAY!!! And hush, you’re going to sound amaaaaaazing. I’ll let you borrow my voice coach this week so you can get more comfortable with it!

 **Jisoo** (4:29 PM): Yes, please.

As the music faded out only to restart from the beginning, Jisoo tugged the coupon book out of her bag. Maybe it was the lyrics of the song getting to her, but she itched to reach out to Jennie right then. Just to talk to her, about anything.

_Can’t get you out of my head. I hate thinking about you all night._

The beat started to pick up, making Jisoo picture herself running—to or from what, she wasn’t sure, but she felt her own heart start to pound in time to the music.

_I don’t know how many times you’ve taken my night._

_The train of thought runs nonstop all night. I don’t know._

For the first time in almost a month, she let herself finally register the deep ache in her chest that had never really left. It hit her so hard she all but fell back onto one of her barstools.

_Every time I feel bad, yeah, every time I feel bad._

_It’s not enough but I am satisfied with you._

She’d had such a pleasant night with Sunmi last night, and she felt like she’d really connected with the other actress for the first time. But, as Jisoo slumped over the counter and stared at the pile of construction paper bound together with twine, she became painfully aware of how much she missed having those kinds of nights with Jennie. And here was this little booklet, with all the promise of talking about their past together, however painfully it ended. It taunted her in a way, whispering to her to reopen those old wounds—or just acknowledge the as yet unhealed wounds she’d been steadfastly ignoring for the last few weeks.

Against her better judgement, she opened the booklet and ripped out a coupon, taking a picture of it and sending it to the designer.

 **Jisoo** (4:37 PM): [picture attached] In your letter, you said you couldn’t be the reason I didn’t achieve my dreams. But at the party you said I would be the one to hold you back. Which was it?

She stared at her phone for a few minutes, willing the small word underneath the message to switch from “Delivered” to “Read,” to no avail. Maybe she was busy. That was understandable, the woman had a multi-national fashion line to help run. But Jisoo still felt antsy, feeling more and more like she shouldn’t have asked such a big question over a text. Should she have even asked that question at all? Jennie gave her a free pass on any and all questions she had, but…was it a question Jisoo needed to know the answer to? Was it even healthy to still be wondering this much about a breakup that happened years ago?

 _Am I being fair to Sunmi?_ Jisoo bit her lip, opening her message thread with the actress— _my girlfriend, I should get used to calling her that_ —to look at the picture Sunmi sent her this morning. Her shoulder-length hair was up in a messy bun as she sipped from an oversized mug, her dark eyes wide and looking straight into the camera, accompanied by a simple _“Wish you were here having breakfast with me <3.”_

Everything felt so _easy_ with Sunmi. Jisoo still had trouble believing someone as amazing as Sunmi would ever be even remotely interested in someone like her. Sunmi was kind and patient and gorgeous and funny and about a dozen other positive things, and she just…was so open about how much she liked Jisoo that the younger actress didn’t know what to do with her. It felt like such a heady responsibility, to hold Sunmi’s heart like that, especially when Jisoo couldn’t help but feel guilty every time she hesitated to further their relationship. Hell, she hesitated to even call Sunmi her girlfriend, which, by all accounts, she was. 

Several minutes passed while Jisoo stared absently at her phone, leaning on the counter lost in her thoughts. Wondering if she was moving too quickly with Sunmi. Wondering why she couldn’t stop looking back to search for Jennie. Wondering what she was trying to find—closure or closeness. She didn’t know how long she sat, frozen, at her kitchen counter, but when she finally shook her head and pushed away from the marble to go close her laptop, she was no closer to any answers.

In the silence that followed, at least Jisoo could come up with one idea. She’d go take a bath, complete with candles and a good book. Maybe that would her mind off of things for a while.

As she headed upstairs, she paused by the counter for a second before she grabbed the coupon book and her phone to take with her. In case Jennie answered.

* * *

Everything about this situation felt so familiar. Jennie sitting on the couch, staring down her parents who stood before her, only this time Kai’s parents joined them. But she also had an ally. Kai’s hand squeezed her knee reassuringly, and she reached forward and took his hand in hers, pulling it to her stomach so she could grasp it for dear life.

“So are you just going to leave us in suspense, or are we going to hear whatever it is you wanted to tell us?” Minji asked, a rare undertone of excitement threading her words.

Immediately, Jennie brought her and Kai’s hands down to her lap, blushing furiously. _Oh, God, they think I’m going to tell them I’m pregnant._ “Kai and I have decided not to get married,” she blurted, so flustered she forgot her whole speech in her effort to stop any and all thoughts her mother was entertaining about any babies with Kai’s features in the future. She felt Kai freeze beside her, also clearly surprised at the abruptness. She supposed he had as many nerves about this announcement as she did, and he’d probably banked on having a few more seconds to collect himself before the news dropped.

It was like the four elders had all collectively stopped breathing altogether. Her father’s eyebrows disappeared into his greying hairline, and maybe Kai’s father really _had_ stopped breathing, because the silence was jarringly broken by his coughing fit. As Mun-Yeong, Kai’s mother, rubbed his back to settle him down, she fixed her son with a pointed look. “Why is that?” she asked, her voice high and sweet but her tone anything but.

Kai cleared his throat. “We’re not in love with each other. We never have been.”

“You’ve been engaged for three years,” Sung-Ho’s rumbling voice interjected. “I don’t understand how suddenly you’re not enough for each other.”

“We’ve never wanted to be engaged, Father,” Jennie said. “We never intended to get married.”

“It’s true,” Kai added, tightening his grip on Jennie’s hand. “When I gave her the ring, I told her we’d find a way out of it.”

Minji shook her head. “We had an agreement, Jennie.”

Blood rushing in her ears, Jennie found herself mirroring her mother as she shook her head from side to side. “No, you had blackmail. The fact of the matter is that Kai and I are not in love with each other, and we never will be. We are best friends who refuse to make each other settle for a loveless marriage.”

Before Minji could respond to the blackmail comment that so obviously irked her, Kai spoke up again. “Our businesses do not need our marriage to stay on good terms and continue expanding together. In fact, Jennie and I have drawn up new contracts that would effectively guarantee that, and as the future heads of our respective family companies, we know we will stay a team professionally as well as friends.”

Jennie looked at her friend proudly, who was scared out of his wits judging by how tightly he held her hand. Kai smiled faintly back at her.

“Is this about that girl?” Both their heads whipped back to the elders, unsure of who spoke or to whom the words were directed. Kai seemed to intuit it was a question for him a beat faster than Jennie.

“Rei is still in Japan, last I heard, and has found someone else who wasn’t forced to let go of her,” Kai said, his words laced with still-fresh pain.

 _Of course_ , Jennie sighed internally. _My parents won’t ask in front of his parents. They wouldn’t want anyone else to know their daughter could be gay._ The thought made Jennie urgently wish they’d ask her that question, too. She wanted to tell them, _Yes, yes, it is. Because I, your daughter, gave up my only happiness for your approval, and_ that girl _made my whole world light up again despite your interference. Even though she’s with someone else, and that is slowly killing me inside. Because of you. Because I let you._

“Then I don’t see the problem,” Mun-Yeong shrugged.

Maybe her parents wouldn’t bring it up, but Jennie could still say her piece, even if it was just in Kai’s defense. “The problem is he had to drive away the love of his life. The problem is now he has to watch her fall in love with someone else. The problem is that no matter how close we are as friends he will never be able to feel that kind of happiness with me. The problem is having experienced real love and being told we are consigned to a drab, lifeless imitation of it.” Chest heaving from the tirade that just spilled out of her, Jennie could have screamed at the clear lack of comprehension on their parents’ faces. “The problem is saying you will only love us if we choose to be unhappy for the rest of our lives.”

Kai’s hand left hers only to wrap around her waist and tug her closer so she could lean against his shoulder. “What she said.”

Sighing, Minji rubbed at her temples. “What are we going to do with the two of you?” There was no gentle amusement in her voice. Just pure exhaustion. Jennie was no longer her perfect daughter. She’d decided to _rebel_.

Jennie stood up on shaky legs, feeling Kai follow suit. “You are going to realize that your daughter is the eponym of JK Designs, and she ultimately will take the lead of the company. I’m damn good at my job, and you can’t afford to lose me.”

“What are you saying?” Minji asked, unconsciously echoing the words Jennie uttered three years ago.

“I’m saying you need to choose what matters to you, Mother,” Jennie said. She was proud of herself for not letting her voice shake, especially since it felt like she no longer had a spine holding her up. “Your company’s Vice President and face, or this antiquated, unnecessary, arranged marriage.”

The shock on her parents’ faces was a sight she never thought she’d see, one she’d worked her whole life to avoid seeing. But now that it was there, Jennie realized it hurt—but it hurt a lot less than the relief she felt at saying what she needed to say. She reached into her briefcase and deposited two contracts on the coffee table. “Those are the revised contracts. Read them over and get back to us with your decision.” She softened her voice then, hoping they’d hear what she was about to say. “I want to be your daughter after all of this. I want _that_ to matter to you.”

She didn’t give them the chance to respond. She merely grabbed Kai’s hand and practically bolted out of the house and into Kai’s Lexus. She heard him climb into the driver’s seat a few seconds later, the door shutting with a thud that felt final. “You did it, Jen,” Kai breathed, leaning his head back against the headrest. “We did it.”

Once again, Kai’s hand found hers, and it made Jennie look down at her left hand in his grip. She lifted her fourth finger and wiggled it at him. “I think this belongs to you.”

Chuckling, Kai slid the glittering diamond ring off her finger and placed it safely in his shirt pocket. As soon as the metal left her skin, Jennie felt as if a vice around her chest had finally loosened. “I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to break up with someone,” Kai said.

Jennie grinned at her companion, because that’s all he was now. He was no longer her fiancé. “Right back atcha.”

“Celebratory dinner?” Kai asked as he started the ignition.

“Some place with really strong drinks.” Jennie looked down at her phone as they rolled out of the driveway of her parents’ house, seeing a text from Jisoo, received almost an hour ago. She was redeeming a coupon. Still riding her rush from her confrontation with her parents, she quickly typed out her response.

“Man, you just broke up with me, and you’re already smiling at your phone over another girl.” Kai took one hand off the wheel to dramatically place it over his heart. “Give a guy’s ego a chance, Jen.”

* * *

**Jennie** (5:20 PM): So sorry!! I was at my parents’ house taking care of something that I’ll tell you about next time I see you.

 **Jennie** (5:21 PM): As for the coupon question…I lied when I said you’d hold me back. I just knew it would hurt you enough to stop pushing.

Having just toweled off after her bath, which did wonders to relax the tightness in her shoulders, Jisoo tilted her head to the side at Jennie’s texts, the first message piquing her interest and the second sending her reaching for the booklet once again.

 **Jisoo** (5:24 PM): [picture message] Why did you need me to stop fighting for us so badly?

 **Jennie** (5:26 PM): …My parents told me they’d out you to the major studio execs. If I broke things off instead, they’d call the casting director of Landfall to make sure you got that final callback.

 _Jennie’s mom is why I got the callback?_ Jisoo didn’t have time to register the myriad of emotions that flew through her with that revelation before another text made the phone buzz in her hand.

 **Jennie** (5:27 PM): I couldn’t be the reason you didn’t get the break you deserved. I never would have forgiven myself.

Landfall _was_ her big break, a callback she’d gotten because Jennie’s mother used it as leverage to split them up, and an audition she’d nailed because she was so torn up over Jennie leaving that she easily channeled that into the character’s own breakdown scene. Everything that came after, all her success, led back to Jennie. Everything was _because_ of Jennie.

 **Jisoo** (5:30 PM): I wish you’d told me this when they gave you the ultimatum.

She wanted to tell Jennie she would have let their parents do their worst. But that felt too big to say to her ex-girlfriend. And…maybe Jennie was right, and Jisoo would never have made it if Minji outed her. She knew how fickle the industry was. It was why she willingly went back into the closet when she started getting roles. But Jisoo still wasn’t sure she wouldn’t have done everything she could have to stop Jennie from choosing for her.

 **Jisoo** (5:31 PM): That should have been a decision we made together.

 **Jennie** (5:33 PM): You’re right.

 _Jennie was trying to protect me._ Jisoo started shivering, the cold air pebbling her bare skin as she sat on the edge of her bed wrapped in her towel. She should get dressed, but she watched the three dots appear and disappear at the bottom of her screen instead.

 **Jennie** (5:35 PM): I’m sorry I didn’t let you in.

Jisoo was sorry, too, because now her mind swam with more what ifs than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, your comments/kudos/overall interaction with this story make me happy and keep me going. Keep those hits of serotonin coming! I will absolutely need them to keep my spirits up while work is so crazy. Thank you for reading and making it this far!!


	11. Coming Clean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your wonderful comments and patience!! Work was so so busy for two straight weeks that my one lighter week was spent just recovering mentally, and now I'm back to the craziness but at least not the 80-hours-a-week craziness that I was pulling. This was also just like an angsty/point-A-to-point-B chapter, so it just was really hard to get out lol. Hopefully it still reads like I wasn't dealing with writer's block the whole time 😂

Jisoo was grateful when Fashion Week rolled around and for the packed full schedule it brought with it. As soon as Fashion Week finished, she’d only have a few days until her next show started shooting. She couldn’t help but look forward to being constantly busy again. It gave her the perfect excuse to take some time away from Sunmi. She’d be too occupied to see her girlfriend multiple times a week, forestalling any further discussions about when Jisoo would be comfortable taking the next step in their relationship. She wouldn’t have time to feel guilty about the thoughts that wouldn’t stop swimming around in her head since a few nights ago, when Jennie’s answers to her questions opened up a pandora’s box of emotions.

Walking off the elevator, her eyes alighted on the executive through her office window, poring over some papers. Even from her vantage point, Jisoo could tell Jennie was chewing the inside of her cheek in obvious frustration.

Yes, Fashion Week also meant almost an entire week with Jennie. Between fittings and public appearances, Jisoo was in for practically seven straight days in her ex-girlfriend’s company. Maybe last week, before they’d so frankly begun delving into their history together, that wouldn’t have made her stomach do backflips. But now, it was like a leak had sprung in the container that held Jennie in her mind, and Jisoo tried not to think about the excitement building inside her, forcing herself to think instead of Sunmi. Her girlfriend, who was sweet and patient and wonderful. And not Jennie Kim.

Jennie looked up then, locking eyes with her and sending her a gummy smile in greeting. Waving back, Jisoo tilted her head in the direction of the showroom, indicating she was due for a fitting. Jennie sent her a thumbs up as she picked up her phone. Rather than immediately making her way to the showroom, Jisoo examined the other woman for a little bit longer, fascinated by the businesswoman Jennie had blossomed into. She seemed more at ease than usual, but Jisoo couldn’t put her finger on why she thought that. They hadn’t talked since that night she answered Jisoo’s questions, and Jisoo couldn’t shake off the feeling that something had changed in the brunette.

“Miss Kim?” Jisoo turned to see Kwan, the tailor, waiting for her.

“Right, sorry,” Jisoo apologized, bowing quickly and walking toward him.

It wasn’t long before Jennie joined them in her fitting, quickly making her way to Jisoo for a hug. “Hi, hi,” she said in a rush, practically beaming at the actress. Her hands lingered on Jisoo’s arms when she pulled back from the embrace, and Jisoo felt a painful thud in her chest at the way the heat from Jennie’s palms seemed to seep into her very bones. “Are you ready for this week?”

Jisoo took a moment to answer her, preoccupied as she was by this vibrant, glowing woman in front of her. Jennie radiated happiness, something she hadn’t witnessed in her in years, and Jisoo tried desperately to tamp down the furious fluttering in her stomach at the sight. Remembering herself, she blinked and nodded her head. “Definitely. I just hope I don’t do something to embarrass myself at the shows.”

Jennie laughed, rubbing Jisoo’s arms once, twice, three times before finally dropping her hands to let Kwan slip the blazer over the actress’s shoulders. “Don’t worry, I’ll be at all the shows with you.” As Jisoo tucked her arms through the sleeves the blazer, she felt Jennie tugging the lapels down. It was like she was back at their first fitting together, where every brush of the younger woman’s fingers sent a spark of electricity shooting through her whole body. “I’ll talk you through all the technical aspects.”

At the thought of spending the week with Jennie whispering in her ear, touching her, smiling at her the way she was doing right then, Jisoo’s head spun. Absently, she let Kwan and Jennie make the necessary measurements and adjustments to her outfit, trying to ignore the latter’s touches as well as she could. She couldn’t understand why Jennie suddenly affected her so strongly again when they’d just gotten to a comfortable place. She couldn’t understand why being around Jennie overwhelmed every part of her again, like the past two months hadn’t even happened.

Jisoo stepped off the pedestal and, on her way to the dressing room, passed by Jennie, whose cheeks puffed out and eyes glittered as she sent Jisoo yet another child-like grin. _Maybe that’s why_. Jisoo felt her own lips turn upward in response before she tore her gaze away from the brunette and disappeared into the dressing room. _I haven’t seen her smile like that since I was in love with her._ Jisoo leaned her head against the wall, a hand on her chest as she tried to catch her breath. _Since she was in love with me_.

* * *

The end of the fitting offered Jisoo no reprieve. As soon as she’d changed back into her normal clothes, Jennie insisted she treat Jisoo to coffee, and the elder had no excuse to decline. Or rather, she texted Rosé’s voice coach that she needed to push back their session by an hour. And so, she found herself nestled in the corner of a café, nursing her warm Americano, and staring at Jennie delightedly sipping her hazelnut latte. If only they were on a couch instead of at a table, Jisoo could have imagined they were still sitting in Creature Comforts.

Biting her lip, Jisoo finally let herself ask the question that was rattling around in her head for the last hour. “So are you ever going to tell me what has you in such a good mood?”

Jennie said nothing, smirking like the Cheshire Cat while she once again raised her mug to her lips. Jisoo wanted to growl in frustration when something—more accurately, the _lack_ of something—made her do a double take. Her gaze followed Jennie’s hands faithfully as the brunette lowered the mug back to the table, her mind whirring a mile a minute. “You’re not wearing your engagement ring.”

“You’re right, I’m not,” Jennie confirmed, wiggling her left ring finger for effect.

Jisoo looked up to meet Jennie’s eyes, seeing nothing but relief reflected in them. “You ended your engagement?”

“Right again,” Jennie said with a nod. Seeing Jisoo still struggling for words, she continued. “A few days ago. That’s why it took me a while to answer your coupon questions—I was at my parents’ house telling them needed me more as their VP than as Kai’s wife. This morning, my mom signed the revised contract I gave her voiding the marriage clause.” A brilliant smile broke across her face, and Jisoo once again felt that painful thudding in her chest. “I’m officially free to marry whomever I choose.”

The words felt like something sharp twisting right into Jisoo’s sternum. “That’s incredible, Jennie,” she uttered, breathless. The thought of Jennie being free to love someone—someone _else_ —didn’t bring as much joy to Jisoo as it should have. She was Jennie’s friend now. She was supposed to be happy for her. She wasn’t supposed to choke back the bile rising in her throat at the idea of Jennie falling in love with someone else. Shoving down the feelings that threatened to rise up, Jisoo forced herself to focus on the important part: Jennie had finally faced her parents and told them what she wanted. That part made Jisoo genuinely happy. “I’m so proud of you.”

Jennie chattered on happily, telling Jisoo all about how she and Kai confronted their parents. Jisoo let the words wash over her, content to watch Jennie coming back to life before her eyes. It wasn’t until her phone alarm went off, signaling she needed to leave for her voice lesson, that she noticed any time had passed at all. Not an hour. Not three years.

As she got into the car, Jisoo closed her eyes. She couldn’t do this again. She couldn’t let herself fall back into Jennie when the other girl was only just finding her footing. The more Jennie stepped out of her parents’ shadow and into herself, the more she reminded Jisoo of the girl she’d met four years ago. She couldn’t get swept up again, and she _certainly_ couldn’t hurt Sunmi like that. The woman who hadn’t entered her mind once for the last two hours. The woman who deserved to know who Jennie really was to her.

Shaking her head, Jisoo opened her eyes and put the keys into the ignition. Jennie was moving on and growing up, and Jisoo should, too. After all, that’s what Jennie intended by giving Jisoo the coupon book—a chance for Jisoo to move on and be happy. With Sunmi.

She pressed the voice command button on her steering wheel while she drove out of the parking lot. “Call Sunmi.”

“Hey,” Sunmi’s deep voice filtered through her car speakers, the fondness audible even in just one word. “I didn’t think I’d get to hear much from you this week. It’s barely been a day.”

The low laughter that followed settled Jisoo’s messy thoughts, and she felt her shoulders relax. “I needed to hear your voice,” she said quietly. She did, she realized. Sunmi never failed to calm her nerves. Talking to her made Jisoo feel like she was sinking into the warmest of hugs. “I think I’m taking you for granted.”

“Oh?”

“I know it would be late, but do you want to come over my place after my voice lesson?”

“Sure,” Sunmi answered right away, a note of concern entering her voice. “Is everything okay, babe?”

Jisoo nodded at first, momentarily forgetting the other woman couldn’t see her. “I-I think I’m almost ready for…us to go further. I just need to talk to you about something before we do.” Sunmi was quiet, hearing the way Jisoo’s voice flipped up at the end. “In person.”

“You’re making me nervous, Chu,” Sunmi said.

“I don’t mean to.” Jisoo let out a low hum of frustration and ran her free hand through her hair. “I just want everything to be out in the open before we go there.”

There was just a beat of hesitation before Sunmi spoke again. “Okay then, I’ll see you tonight.”

“See you tonight.”

 _Click_. The call ended just as Jisoo turned onto the freeway en route to her house, and she reveled in the feeling of just driving. She didn’t drive enough. Her managers usually insisted on driving her or having a hired driver so that she avoided any bad publicity in the event of an accident. But there was a serenity to be had driving down an open freeway. A clarity.

Despite all her confusion for the last few days, Jisoo was crystal clear on one thing today. She would tell Sunmi about Jennie tonight. And hope her girlfriend wouldn’t be too hurt that she kept such a heavy secret close for so long.

If Sunmi stuck around after that, maybe Jisoo had a chance at accomplishing what Jennie wanted her to.

* * *

The sound of paper ripping echoed through Jennie’s apartment as she ran an open pair of scissors flush against a ribbon, watching it bounce into place in a happy ringlet. She positioned it just so, so that it fell into place nicely with the rest of the purple curls, the final touch on the gift basket she’d been laboring over for the past hour.

“Not that this isn’t _fascinating_ ,” Lisa said dryly, perched on Jennie’s counter and twirling a glass of wine in her hand, “but did you really invite me over to watch you make Jisoo a gift?”

Jennie rolled her eyes, hoping her cheeks weren’t as red as they felt. “No, you just came over before I finished.” She paused to text the messenger that was waiting downstairs that her package was finally ready. The poor guy had also arrived too early. _Or I got carried away_. “It’s customary for us to give our spokespeople a token of our appreciation for Fashion Week.”

“Is it customary for the Vice President of the company to personally make the token?” Lisa’s voice sounded smug, and sure enough, when Jennie looked up at her, she saw the teasing half-smirk on the model’s face.

Pausing when she heard the knock on her door, Jennie quickly gathered the basket and carefully deposited in the messenger’s hands. “You have the address?” He nodded, and she quickly thanked him and closed the door. She turned back to Lisa and retrieved her own as-yet-untouched glass of wine from the side table. “No, it’s _not_ , Lalisa.” Lisa snorted into her wine, having needed no confirmation given her career revolved around things like Fashion Week. “This is Jisoo’s first Fashion Week, and I just wanted to make sure it’s a fun event for her. She gets tired when she gets too much attention, so sue me for wanting to give her things to help soothe her.” She punctuated the end of her speech with a large gulp of her red wine.

“Doesn’t she have a girlfriend _and_ a fake boyfriend to help her do that?”

Grumbling, Jennie took another sip of her wine and curled herself into the corner of her couch, staring at Lisa across the room. “They won’t be with her at the events.”

“Ah, but you will be,” Lisa said with a wink as she tipped the glass to her mouth.

“That’s not what I meant!” Kuma barked softly at the high-pitched shriek that left Jennie’s mouth. The Pomeranian jumped up onto the couch and spun around next to Jennie’s feet before finding a comfortable position leaning his head against her leg. Jennie let a hand fall on his head and scratched behind his ears as she bought herself more time with another sip. “Yes, I will be with her most of this week, and yes, I’m more than a little happy about that. But I won’t mess with her and Sunmi.”

She heard the gentle thud of Lisa’s socked feet hitting the floor, and soon the cushions dipped under her weight as she sat on the other side of Kuma. “You’re seriously going to watch the love of your life move on without you? Now? When you finally are free to go after her?”

“I’m not going to put pressure on her like that.”

“What do you mean?”

Jennie looked up at her friend. “If she knew I broke off my engagement for her, she’d feel weird around me again. She’s with someone else who makes her happy, and I can’t ask her to end all that for me—and I don’t want her to think that I expect that.”

Lisa’s doll-like features showed every emotion clear as day, and the sorrow etched on her face almost shook Jennie’s resolve. “That must be incredibly painful for you,” Lisa said finally.

“I deserve it, after what I put her through.” Jennie took another sip of her wine, noticing she only had a few drops left in her glass. She’d gone through that quickly. “I’ll support her the best way I know how, and if she and Sunmi don’t work out, then I’ll tell her I still love her.”

Lisa frowned, not liking the way Jennie spoke about herself. “But maybe she wouldn’t have gone so far with Sunmi if you just told her how you feel now.”

Jennie shook her head, certain that wouldn’t have been the right way to go. “I haven’t made it up to her yet. She needs to feel safe with me again before I tell her my feelings, and if she falls madly in love with Sunmi and marries her—” Jennie sucked in a deep breath. Even _saying_ the possibility hurt. “Even if I never get the chance because she falls in love with Sunmi, then that means I still helped her find happiness by supporting her.”

Lisa had nothing to say to that. Instead, she opted to take Jennie’s glass to refill it. “I think we’ll need more wine.”

* * *

Jisoo wondered if it was possible to throw up one’s own heart. She certainly felt like hers was caught in her throat, seconds away from being a mess on the floor, when she opened her door to greet Sunmi. The older actress’s cheeks were flushed from the cold, and her windswept, shoulder-length locks were dotted with little snowflakes. The way she smiled when she saw Jisoo, though, that was what made Jisoo’s heart fall back down into her chest and start thudding loudly.

“Hi,” Jisoo said softly, stepping aside to let her girlfriend in. As Sunmi shrugged out of her puffy jacket, Jisoo waited impatiently for her to finish so she could wrap her arms around the elder’s neck. Sunmi’s came up and softly rested on the small of her back, tugging her closer when Jisoo leaned in to capture her lips. She could feel the smile Sunmi sported during the kiss, registering how rarely Jisoo was the one to initiate any sort of intimate contact.

“Hi, yourself.” Sunmi grinned as they parted. She pulled Jisoo even more flush against her so she could lock her wrists around her back, her hands ever so casually brushing Jisoo’s rear.

“I missed you.”

Sunmi’s smile grew even wider, the flush on her cheeks now less from the cold and more from Jisoo, who still marveled at the idea she could have this kind of effect on the other woman. “I missed you, too, babe.” She tapped Jisoo’s butt lightly with a wink. “I gotta say, this wasn’t the greeting I expected after that phone call today.”

Jisoo leaned in again and deposited another, quieter kiss on the taller woman’s mouth. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” _Even if I am doing everything I can to keep from shaking thinking about what I have to tell you_. She reached behind her and interlaced her fingers with Sunmi’s, stepping out of the embrace and pulling her further into the house. “How was your day?” she asked even though she knew it was only delaying the inevitable.

“Uneventful, which is just how I like my days off,” Sunmi responded, looking around Jisoo’s house. “I just realized this is my first time here.”

The words made Jisoo stop short and guilt threatened to overtake her. Had she really never invited Sunmi to her house before? In a month of dating? “Ugh, this is what I mean by I’ve been taking you for granted,” she mumbled, turning and sending an apologetic look Sunmi’s way. “I should have had you over ages ago.”

Sunmi tilted her head to the side and smiled kindly, her free hand coming up to bop Jisoo’s nose. “Don’t feel bad. I’m happy we’re here now.”

Jisoo heard the unspoken words. _I’m happy to not be the only one putting in all the effort anymore._ The woman was really too good for her. “Can I get you some wine?” she offered, dropping Sunmi’s hand to circle her counter for glasses.

She heard Sunmi’s hum of approval and set two glasses on the marble. She was halfway through pouring the second glass when she heard Sunmi’s curious voice. “Babe, what’s this?”

Looking up to see Sunmi’s slender hands flipping through the colorful, construction paper booklet that must have fallen out of her bag when she set it on the counter, Jisoo put down the wine bottle with slightly too much vigor. “Um,” she said, quickly making her way back to Sunmi and proffering a glass, “that’s related to what I wanted to talk to you about tonight.”

Sunmi dropped the booklet in favor of accepting the glass. “Right,” she sighed as she followed Jisoo into the living room. “I’m not sure if I want this conversation to happen quickly or put it off a little more.”

“I, um,” Jisoo paused, taking a bracing drink from her wine. _Rip off the bandaid, Jisoo_. “Do you remember the ex I told you about?”

“Yes, what about her?” Sunmi’s eyebrows upward in concern, and Jisoo didn’t know if she could keep going if she looked her in the eye, ducking her head to contemplate the wine balanced between her hands instead.

“She has—the reason she’s been on my mind so much lately—”

“She has?”

The hurt was clear in Sunmi’s voice, and Jisoo lost her battle with herself. She put her drink on the table and turned fully to face her girlfriend, taking both Sunmi’s hands into her own. “I don’t mean to say that I haven’t loved every second I’ve spent with you,” she said earnestly, searching the elder’s face for her understanding. “You’ve been one of the only things to make me feel normal again, and I want you to stay in my life.”

“I want to stay here, too, Jisoo, but you’re making me nervous.” Sunmi bit her lip, her entire body visibly tense as she clearly braced herself for whatever Jisoo was about to tell her.

“I don’t mean to, ugh, I’m doing this all wrong.” Jisoo felt like she was about to tell Sunmi she was trying to break up with her when nothing could be furthest from the truth, and in her frustration ended up blurting it out in the most tactless way ever. “My ex is Jennie.”

Sunmi’s mouth dropped open. “Jennie…Jennie Kim? The designer you’re working with?”

Nodding, Jisoo tightened her grip on Sunmi’s hands that felt they were going to be retracted at any second. “Yes, she and I hadn’t spoken since we broke up until the SBS after party, and then her mother asked me to be their brand’s ambassador.”

“That was before we met,” Sunmi observed, her voice faint.

“Yes.” She hoped that would mean something to the other woman, that Jisoo actively chose to date her despite the recurrence of her ex-girlfriend in her life. “We have become friends, and she knows about you.”

“But I didn’t get to know about her.”

There was no mistaking the darkness lacing that statement. “No one in the industry aside from Jinyoung knows about my history with Jennie,” Jisoo tried to explain. “I had to completely hide that part of my life for the sake of my career. You know how that is.”

Sunmi nodded, but she offered no comforting smile. “I was hoping to hear that I’m not just another person in the industry to you.”

Jisoo braved placing a hand on Sunmi’s face. “You’re _not_ , and that’s why I’m telling you now, before we have gone any further, so that you know everything.”

Looking up, dark eyes shining too brightly with hesitant hope. “Everything?” Jisoo nodded. “What does that little book have to do with it?”

“It’s Jennie’s way of helping me get answers about how we ended,” Jisoo said, encouraged that Sunmi was still sitting in front of her. “She is trying to fix things so that we can be friends.”

“Talking about your relationship is supposed to help you stay friends?”

“Yes.” Jisoo squeezed the hands that had, miraculously, not yet left hers. “I haven’t been able to get over her in all this time because I didn’t have answers. Seeing Jennie again was what I needed to be ready for someone like you.”

“And she’s just…giving you these answers out of the goodness of her heart?” Sunmi’s voice was soft, but the words were accusing.

Jisoo pulled back. “What do you mean?”

“If your relationship really was that significant that _you_ weren’t over _her_ for years after, then _she_ must also not have been over _you,”_ Sunmi reasoned, a frown on her face. “Who’s to say she’s not doing all of this to get you back?”

“Because she said she supported you and me,” Jisoo responded simply, unable to comprehend the idea that Jennie would have any ulterior motives.

Sunmi looked like she wanted to object to that statement, but before she could, a soft chime rang through the house. “Were you expecting someone else tonight?”

Shaking her head, Jisoo felt Sunmi follow her to the door, which swung open to reveal a resplendent gift basket draped in purple ribbon. “What the…?” Jisoo trailed off when she picked up the basket and brought it inside and back to her kitchen. Sunmi remained hot on her heels, and Jisoo could feel the other woman practically wanting to crawl up her back to get a closer look at the basket.

As soon as it rested on the counter, Sunmi plucked the card from the top of it and handed it to Jisoo. “Don’t you want to know who it’s from?” she asked in a monotone, as if she didn’t need Jisoo to open the card to know its origin.

Jisoo tentatively accepted the card from Sunmi and slipped it out of the envelope. “Happy Fashion Week, Jisoo,” she read aloud. “Just wanted to send you a token of our appreciation for being such an amazing sponsor, and maybe some goodies to get you through this week! Can’t wait to see you at the shows. xoxo Jennie.”

 _Jennie, you could not have had worse timing_ , Jisoo groaned internally at the same time as she heard Sunmi’s disbelieving scoff. She looked up to see the taller woman trying to hide her crushed expression by poking through the contents of the gift basket. “Scented candles, bubble bath, video game packages? She thought of everything.”

“Sunmi…”

“I think I need some time, Jisoo,” Sunmi said, her voice small as she pushed away from the counter and made her way back toward the front door.

“Sunmi, you have to know nothing has happened since Jennie came back into my life,” Jisoo said, catching her wrist before she could put her jacket on. “I should have told you sooner. I just didn’t know how.”

Sunmi paused and stared at Jisoo with shining eyes. Jisoo hoped she could hear the sincerity behind her words, that Jisoo truly never meant to hurt her. “I believe you,” Sunmi said finally. “It’s still just…too much to process in front of you.”

“Are we still—?” Jisoo didn’t know how to finish that question. All she knew was she already regretted telling Sunmi something that made her look so despondent.

A hollow, shaky laugh fell past Sunmi’s lips, and she shrugged. “I don’t know, Jisoo. I need time to figure out if I’m strong enough to date someone who is spending more and more time with the ex-love of her life.”

She let Sunmi’s wrist go, watching the actress don her winter coat unobstructed. “So…you’ll let me know?”

“Yeah.”

Sunmi was about to open the door when Jisoo placed a hand on the handle before she could, stopping her one last time. “Should I not have told you?” she asked in a miniscule voice.

A warm hand enveloped the one holding the door closed, and for the shortest of moments, Jisoo felt her squeeze it. “No, you were right to tell me before we got more serious. I just…need to think, okay?”

“Okay.”

The house seemed eerily quiet after the door closed behind Sunmi. The guilt dwelling in Jisoo about keeping Jennie’s identity a secret was swiftly replaced with guilt about hurting the woman who had so freely given her heart to Jisoo.

 _I had to tell her,_ Jisoo reasoned with herself as she slowly ambled back to the gift basket. Otherwise, there would be no future for the two of them. _There may not be anyway._ Morose, she shuffled through the contents until she found her comfort food—extra spicy instant ramen—which she instinctively knew would be nestled somewhere in the cushion of crinkle-cut paper.

She set about heating the water and digging chopsticks out of her drawer, focusing on the mundane task of stirring the noodles while they cooked instead of on the gnawing numbness in her stomach. She had no choice now but to wait for Sunmi’s decision—and know that she’d be deciding while Jisoo and Jennie would be plastered all over the web together starting tomorrow. The reverse of what happened when she went on her first date of Sunmi a month ago, the parallel too painful not to notice.

_How do I keep getting myself into these situations?_

* * *

“Sorry, I’m late,” Jisoo apologized as she rushed into the heated staging area for the red carpet. Jennie turned at the sound of her voice just in time to see Jisoo brushing out the wrinkles of her midnight blue dress. The actress looked gorgeous, her raven hair pin-straight and cascading over a V-necked, satin number that fell to her mid-thighs, feet tucked into nude heels. If only she didn’t appear so…frazzled?

“You’re just in time, no worries,” Jennie assured her, instinctively reaching to catch one of Jisoo’s hands. “Is everything okay?”

Jisoo flashed Jennie an unconvincing half-smile and a nod. “Yeah, just running behind a little today.” She made no effort to free her hand from Jennie’s grasp, simply turning to face in the direction of the queue. “Thank you for the gift basket, by the way.”

“You’re welcome.” Jennie wanted to push, but she knew this wasn’t the time nor place. Something was clearly bothering her. Jennie settled for a squeeze of the hand in hers as they stepped up to the edge of the red carpet together. “You ready?”

Inhaling deeply, Jisoo returned the squeeze and let their hands drop. “Ready.”

As the pair walked onto the red carpet together, Jennie couldn’t help herself—she kept reaching for the other woman, relishing the velvet-soft feeling of Jisoo’s skin sliding against her palms as she pulled her brand ambassador along the press line, curling her arm loosely around Jisoo’s waist as they posed for pictures. She may have spent a few seconds too long staring at Jisoo when she’d laugh while talking to one of the interviewers along the carpet, but who could blame her?

Whatever was bothering Jisoo didn’t seem to be enough to throw her off professionally, at least. She sparkled in front of the cameras, and Jennie gradually felt her relax as she settled into her work mode. By the time they walked off the carpet for the fashion show, Jennie’s hand found hers again, and Jisoo let herself be led off into the venue without even a momentary pause at the contact.

They sat in the front row, and Jisoo immediately dropped her hand to furiously rub some warmth into her bare legs. “Remind me why Fashion Week happens in winter?” Her teeth chattered lightly as she spoke, and Jennie couldn’t help the amused smile that came to her face.

“So that people are primed for the spring and summer collections,” she said, watching as twin spots of color bloomed on Jisoo’s cheeks at the obvious logic. “Did I tell you yet that you look amazing?”

“Ah, so the icicle look is in, swell,” Jisoo quipped, eyes darting around on lookout for cameras while she continued to visibly attempt to warm up.

Jennie giggled and scooted her chair in closer so that their legs pressed against one another, offering her own body heat in aid to the actress. “The breakout star of _Snow_ drop can’t handle a little cold?”

The half-serious glare Jisoo shot back at her only made Jennie laugh harder. “You don’t get to mock me when you’re wearing that wool blazer.”

“Hey, the blazer is a look of mine I have cultivated. It’s part of my style.”

“Make it be part of mine, too.” Finally, Jisoo settled down, no longer noticeably shivering as she watched the rest of the crowd filter in. “So am I going to be expected to comment on the clothes after the show?”

Jennie nudged her balled fist against Jisoo’s thigh, just enough to make the elder turn to her. “Don’t worry, I’ll point out things to you during the show that you can talk about.”

“Do you have to coach all of your spokespeople this much?”

Jisoo’s face was suddenly very close to Jennie’s, and the latter battered down the urge to lean in. Instead, she leaned back just enough so she could safely look Jisoo in the eye again. “All our spokespeople have a companion to the shows, yes.”

“But it’s not usually you, is it?” Jisoo’s doe eyes searched hers, a curious blend of anxiety and hope swimming in their depths.

“No, it’s usually not me,” Jennie affirmed, trying her best not to blush at the admission. “But there was no way I was going to give you to a handler, especially when I have to be at these shows anyway.” _And maybe I couldn’t pass up the chance to be near you for an entire week._

Before they could say any more, the lights dimmed. As the uptempo music filled the room, a spotlight landed on a sole figure at the beginning of the runway. The designer, offering their welcoming remarks. Jennie felt a small poke in her thigh and leaned her head in a way that prompted Jisoo to whisper a question. “Who is that?”

Jennie almost snorted. It was sure to be an entertaining evening with Jisoo sitting next to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jisoo! So confused!! Still!! (Also pls don't hate me, i accidentally created SunSoo shippers with this fic and I'm sorry I couldn't write a way out of this hole I created for myself without Sunmi getting hurt 😓. This is a Jensoo fic after all, but I'll try to be kind to Sunmi lol)


	12. Red Carpets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle up, this one's a doozy.
> 
> Real talk, though, writing this chapter was incredibly therapeutic to me because life has been absurd, so I hope you all enjoy the extremely emotional and melodramatic ride that is this 8K word chapter.

“Kim Jisoo.”

The sudden chill caused by the comforter being ripped off her body woke Jisoo immediately. The actress squinted in the morning light, disoriented until she found Jinyoung standing next to her bed, staring down at her.

“What the hell, Jinyoung?” she grumbled, trying to reach for her covers but her friend held them out of her reach. Flopping back down on her bed, she stared up at the ceiling. “What can I do for you this morning?”

“You can tell me what’s going on between you and Jennie.” He threw his phone onto her stomach and poked at her side until she shifted over, climbing into bed next to her.

Jisoo looked down at the article on Jinyoung’s phone, seeing picture after picture of her from last night, all but intertwined with Jennie in every single one of them. Her brow furrowed as she scrolled down, seeing one photo in particular where Jisoo was talking to an interviewer, but Jennie was watching Jisoo with such a soft expression on her face it made Jisoo’s stomach flip. “I…um.” She had no words.

“Twitter is up in arms because everyone’s wondering what happened to #SunSoo.” Jinyoung looked down at her sternly. “What _did_ happen to SunSoo?”

Sighing, Jisoo gave the actor back his phone and pushed herself up so she was sitting shoulder-to-shoulder with him. “I told Sunmi Jennie was my ex the other night,” she admitted, running a hand through her messy hair. “It didn’t go very well.”

“What the hell, Jisoo?” Jinyoung echoed her earlier sentiments, and Jisoo turned to him in surprise. She’d expected him to eventually push her about telling Sunmi the truth, not to get upset with her for doing so. “You told her right before you’d be spending every waking moment with Jennie?”

“Clearly, it would have still been an issue if I _hadn’t_ told her and she saw pictures like that.” Jisoo’s fingers itched to go back and scroll through those photos again, scrutinizing them for every miniscule detail. “Sunmi deserved to know.”

“Did you know Jennie broke off her engagement?” Jinyoung asked, his thumbs clicking to a link embedded in the article. The announcement had apparently gone out earlier that day. Jisoo nodded, her eyes falling to her hands. “Did that have anything to do with you suddenly deciding to come clean to Sunmi?”

“Yes, but not in the way you think,” Jisoo insisted. Jinyoung looked at her disbelievingly. “Jennie was making all these big steps to move on and be happy, and she’s said so many times she wanted me to be able to be happy with Sunmi. I just realized I was stuck because I was keeping this big secret from my girlfriend, and I’d never be able to go forward if I didn’t tell her.”

Jinyoung stared at her for a second before he closed his eyes and let out a long breath. “Oh, my sweet, baby Jisoo,” he said as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and let her rest her head on him. “You really believe that, don’t you?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Your ex-girlfriend suddenly becomes available again, and you conveniently decided to tell your current girlfriend a truth that is probably going to be a deal-breaker for her,” Jinyoung explained. “You still love Jennie, dumdum.”

Stiffening at the words, Jisoo suddenly felt nauseous. If she was being honest with herself, Jinyoung’s words rang all too true, but she didn’t want to think she’d been so cruel to Sunmi as to consciously lead on the other woman only to make her be the one to break things off. But what if Sunmi decided she could handle Jisoo’s friendship with Jennie? The guilt eating away at Jisoo urged her to stay with Sunmi and commit to her, because she’d already hurt Sunmi enough. But that impulse itself sent a whole separate strain of guilt spiraling through her, knowing she’d only be doubling down on a behavior that wasn’t fair to either of them, knowing Sunmi would never want to be in a relationship borne of obligation. Jisoo’s head hurt. “Jennie’s moved on, Jin,” she finally said, wrapping a hand around his arm so she could pull him closer.

Jinyoung snorted. “Jennie most definitely has _not_ moved on, Chu, but if staying in that delusion is easier for you, who am I to judge?”

“The way you woke me up felt pretty judgy,” Jisoo grumbled. The pair sat in silence for a few minutes, the calm of the early morning settling over them. “I haven’t seen you in a while,” she said quietly.

“Work’s been pretty busy,” Jinyoung spoke, one hand reaching over to poke Jisoo’s thigh. “But I had to come and knock some sense into you because clearly you’ve been floundering without my counsel.”

Jisoo ignored his teasing and kept her cheek firmly on his shoulder. “Work…and Mark?” The lack of answer proved enough confirmation for her. “Did you finally tell him?”

She shifted so she could look Jinyoung in his face, which was rapidly reddening. “Um, he told me.” She could see the corners of his lips twitching as if he was suppressing a smile. “Maybe we spend our breaks at work in each other’s trailers.”

“Park Jinyoung,” Jisoo scoffed in feigned shock. “Hooking up at work, how unprofessional.”

Jinyoung shoved her lightly, laughing as he defended himself. “Listen, I’ve been _living_ on set lately, so if not at work when am I ever going to get some?” His tone was so earnest it sent Jisoo into a fit of her own giggles. “Speaking of which, I’ve got an hour before I have to go, so get your ass out of bed so I can buy my beard some breakfast.”

* * *

Rosé couldn’t help but glance down at the article on her phone while Jisoo listened to some pointers from her vocal coach. Finally, _finally_ , she’d managed to wrangle Jisoo into the recording studio with her, and from just the preliminary rehearsals with the scratch track, she knew Jisoo’s voice would be perfect for the record. She watched with fascination as Jisoo took a deep breath when the instrumental started, and it was like a veil had been lifted off the raven-haired actress, revealing a raw longing in her eyes and her voice that stunned everyone in the sound booth.

_I don’t know how many times you’ve taken my night._

_The train of thought runs nonstop all night. I don’t know._

Something in Jisoo’s voice broke Rosé’s heart. She was channeling something extraordinarily real, and the singer couldn’t help but wonder who caused that wistful, distant look in the usually stoic woman.

And then Lisa texted her an article about the beginning of Fashion Week—without any context or explanation. The article covered all the big players at the previous night’s fashion show, but a healthy portion of it focused on Jisoo and Jennie, the sparkling young pair that were respectively the ones to watch in entertainment and fashion. It seemed like Jennie couldn’t stop watching Jisoo, and it reminded Rosé of the time at the dance studio. In every photo, the two just…fit together. Jennie invariably had a hand wrapped around Jisoo’s waist or arm or hand, and Jisoo looked so comfortable having the designer practically surgically attached to her arm during the event that it had even garnered attention in the comments.

 **Jisoostan96:** is it just me or is every hot woman Jisoo does a red carpet with just completely in love with her?

 **MiSunandStars:** RIP SunSoo 😭

 **Kpopizmylife:** @jisoostan96 can you blame them? I’m completely in love with her too 😩

 **Snowdropsy:** Oh, to be Kim Jisoo. She looks _amazing_ in that blue! And in Jennie Kim’s arms!

Eyes flickering up from the comments to the older girl in the studio, whose entire countenance seemed to shift when she sang the wistful lyrics. A girl who she’d never seen ever have strong feelings toward anyone else in her life, who’d purposely let the media think she was dating her friend who Rosé was all but positive was gay. Jisoo was always so steady with Rosé, who’d dealt with her own fair share of heartbreak and all the emotional ups and downs that came with it. She always knew what to say when Rosé’s love life went up in flames as it was wont to do. It hadn’t occurred to the blonde that maybe Jisoo was so steady because she’d had her heart truly and utterly broken before, and she knew Rosé would survive because she had.

Jisoo never talked about her love life, not really. She was happy to let people draw their own conclusions, but she’d never once talked about it herself, not to Rosé at least. Her gaze returned to the pictures on her phone, her mind replaying the way Jisoo and Jennie kept looking at each other at the dance studio, recalling the overly familiar sense she’d picked up from the pair.

_I’m ready for love. I’m ready for love!_

Rosé smiled encouragingly to the novice singer, who was more than holding her own with the music, before her face dropped again as she became lost in thought. She was missing something, some part of the story that would make that closeness make sense, that would make Jisoo’s singing make sense.

_Lisa sent me this article for no apparent reason, maybe she knows something?_

She was meeting the model later that day for the video shoot. She’d ask her then.

* * *

Ducking into the office building just as the wind started to pick up, Jennie was so focused on brushing the snow off her coat that she didn’t realize she was on a collision course until it was too late. Unable to stifle her surprise, Jennie looked up to see a taller woman, with bold red lips and shoulder-length jet-black hair, whose face had been gracing magazines for years. Lee Sunmi, whose eyebrows had climbed up into her hairline at seeing who she’d bumped into.

“I’m so sorry,” Jennie said automatically, averting her eyes and bowing to the actress. “I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”

“You’re Jennie, right?” Jennie caught the carefully considering tone of the actress standing in front of her, making no move to bow in response.

Flushing, Jennie nodded. “Yes. I’m a friend of Jisoo’s.” The words were out of her mouth before she could catch them, and from the way Sunmi’s face froze, she instantly knew they were the wrong ones.

Sunmi quickly composed her features, so quickly that Jennie wondered if she’d imagined the strain in them just a few seconds ago. “Your designs are beautiful.” Sunmi smiled, something about her words feeling exceptionally formal to the brunette. “Jisoo seems to be really enjoying her time being your ambassador.”

“She’s helping us far more than we’re helping her,” Jennie nodded, doing her best not to focus on all the ways Jisoo has helped her personally in the last few months as she rubbed the fading tan line on her left ring finger. “Our sales have been through the roof since she signed on.” Sunmi still looked so uncomfortable that Jennie felt obliged to continue, hoping Jisoo had told the other she knew about them. “I think that red carpet the two of you did together set a record for the fastest we sold out an item.” _Please understand what I’m saying._

The way the elder woman quirked her eyebrow told Jennie she’d received the message loud and clear. “Is your office here? My agency is based here. It’s a wonder I’ve never run into you before.”

Jennie shook her head, feeling her bangs swaying across her brow-line as she did so. “No, I’m just here doing some press promotion for Fashion Week. My office is a few blocks down.”

Sunmi’s face softened the longer she regarded the designer, for reasons Jennie couldn’t quite pinpoint. Nonetheless, Jennie could feel some of the tension around them dissipate. “I should get going, I have a shoot to get to,” Sunmi said after a few beats of silence. “It was nice to meet you, Jennie.”

“Likewise.” Jennie bowed again, watching the actress as she left in confusion. She’d always expected Sunmi to be warmer in person, especially if she’d managed to capture Jisoo’s attention. _She’s Jisoo’s girlfriend, dummy_ , she chided herself. _Surely by now she knows who you are._ Her phone chimed, reminding her she was now ten minutes late for her interview, and she hustled to catch the elevator. She’d dissect her interaction with Jisoo’s girlfriend later.

* * *

Jisoo lunged for the door almost as soon as her doorbell rang, seeing Sunmi standing on her porch, snowflakes dotting her hair and melting on her nose. “Hey,” she sighed, relieved the other woman had answered her texts inviting her over. The texts she’d sent almost immediately after coming home from recording with Rosé, after she spent an hour crouched against her front door, sobbing into her knees.

Spending the whole morning singing lyrics that never failed to make Jisoo think of Jennie—old Jennie, new Jennie, student Jennie, designer Jennie, _girlfriend_ Jennie—left her feeling drained, like she’d finally hit rock bottom. She replayed their coffee date, where Jennie saying she was free to marry whomever she chose, and Jisoo wanted to throw up. She remembered reaching for Jennie on the red carpet just as often as Jennie reached for her, feeling the security in the other’s touch. She shivered at the thought of Jennie’s fingers ghosting over her waist during their last fitting, at her bright, gummy smile sending Jisoo’s heart galloping in double-time.

Jinyoung was right. He’d _been_ right. Jisoo had been lying to herself for weeks, maybe longer.

She still loved Jennie. She was still _in_ love with Jennie. Painfully so. Recalling the brunette’s chubby cheeks and childlike smiles and devastating stares made a thousand more cracks open in Jisoo’s heart. She’d been so blind, so desperate to stop hurting, that she’d rushed into another relationship.

Sunmi was subdued as she stepped into Jisoo’s house, shrugging off her coat before letting the shorter actress pull her into a hug. “Hi,” Sunmi whispered into Jisoo’s hair. Jisoo noticed the way Sunmi wrapped her arms around her waist, tugging her closer. It felt final.

Jisoo supposed the way she’d invited Sunmi over felt final, too.

It was almost out of habit that Jisoo offered her girlfriend something to drink as they entered the kitchen. As if she knew she wouldn’t be here long enough, Sunmi declined anything other than a glass of water. When they’d both taken a seat on the barstools at the counter, Sunmi took a sip of her drink before asking, “So you wanted to talk to me about something?”

Jisoo looked down at the clear liquid in her glass, wishing it was something stronger. “I…” She took a deep breath and forced herself to meet Sunmi’s eyes. She deserved that much. “I realized something these last few days.”

Sunmi just nodded, her hands only minimally shaking as she brought the glass of water back up to her lips.

Taking that as a cue to continue, Jisoo soldiered on, her guilt creating a stranglehold on her throat as she choked out the words. “It wasn’t fair of me to tell you about Jennie the way I did. I’ve been so confused lately that I think some part of me hoped you’d make the decision for me if I told you who she was.” Sunmi wasn’t blinking, just taking deep breaths and tilting her head to the side to let Jisoo keep talking, which she did, for fear that if words didn’t come out of her mouth, her lunch would. “Jennie…she makes my head swim, and I feel like I’m always about three seconds from having a heart attack when I’m around her. But you, you made me feel better, calmer, and I—” Jisoo’s throat tightened, suddenly in a battle to keep her eyes from watering. The guilt she had grown familiar with over these last couple weeks, but Sunmi really had made Jisoo wonder if she could move on and be happy with someone else. Sunmi had offered a beautiful, peaceful dream, and what Jisoo was about to say would mean leaving behind the warm safety Sunmi had given her. The realization hurt more than she thought it would. “I _wish_ I could be the girl you deserve, who deserves you.”

Sunmi’s hands found hers in her lap, patient fingers uncurling the white-knuckled grip Jisoo had on her dress. Sunmi had always been so patient with her. “You are that girl, Jisoo,” she murmured, her eyes never leaving Jisoo’s hands. “I’m not as perfect as you paint me.”

“You’re unbelievably wonderful, Sunmi,” Jisoo breathed. She ducked her head so she could meet the woman’s gaze. “I still don’t know that I can find a single thing wrong with you, and we’ve been dating for over a month.” She got down from the stool so she could step closer. “I wasn’t ready for you.”

“You’re still in love with Jennie, right?”

Jisoo didn’t let herself close her eyes as she nodded, watching the pained recognition wash over Sunmi as she did so. “I thought I was over her, and I tried so hard to be,” she admitted. “But I don’t think I can just yet, and I can’t ask you to wait for me to be ready. And I shouldn’t have tried to put that decision on you.”

Shaking her head, Sunmi smiled sadly. “I can’t say I haven’t been on your side before,” she said with a big gulp. “I don’t love being on the receiving end of it.”

Saying “I’m sorry,” felt trite to Jisoo, but she said it nonetheless, braving pulling Sunmi in for a bone-crushing hug.

Sunmi hugged her back just as fiercely, her forehead pressed against the cool skin of Jisoo’s neck. “Thank you for not making me choose.” Her voice shook just as her hands did, and Jisoo wished there was any way she could have avoided hurting the woman in front of her. “I don’t think I could have handled giving you up on my own.”

Her words made Jisoo feel like the scum of the earth, and she tightened her arms around Sunmi’s shoulders as if to make up for her guilt. “I hope you find someone who can give themselves to you completely,” she whispered. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be that person.”

When they parted, Sunmi left her with a light kiss on her cheek, and a muted “Goodbye.” As soon as the door closed, Jisoo leaned her forehead on the wood, unsure how she was meant to go from this to smiling on a red carpet in a matter of a few hours. Maybe she would call Jinyoung— _No, he’s stuck shooting for the rest of the night_. Lisa? She knew the model would be at tonight’s event anyway, and it had been ages since she’d hung out with her one-on-one. God knew, Lisa’s bubbly energy would be exactly what Jisoo needed to get in the mood for tonight.

* * *

Jennie did her best not take it personally. She really did.

But Jisoo spent almost the whole red-carpet event glued to Lisa’s side, laughing and talking with the Thai girl as if Jennie wasn’t even in the same room as them. Jennie felt like the annoying little sister tagging along on a playdate, standing awkwardly off to the side during interviews and only chiming in when the press directly asked her a question. It was only then that Jisoo seemed to register her presence, and feeling those dark eyes boring into the side of her head made answering the interviewers’ questions next to impossible.

“Lalisa!” One of the press-line called out. “Is it true you’re going to be doing a project with Rosé?””

Lisa grinned, practically buzzing with excitement. “In fact, we just filmed it earlier today! I can’t wait for everyone to see our Pink Punk reunion.”

“Jisoo, you’re friends with both Lisa and Rosé, is that right? Have you gotten any hints as to what this mystery project is?”

“Not only hints,” Jisoo smirked, tickling the taller woman’s side teasingly. “I’ve seen the whole thing, and trust me, everyone is going to be very happy when it comes out.”

Maybe Lisa noticed the way Jennie was about to visibly react, because she pulled the designer into the conversation with them. “Jennie unnie was also there, and she even helped design the looks for the project. I’m excited to see everyone’s response when we officially release it, and maybe I’ll even be able to drag Jisoo and Jennie into my next project if it goes well.”

“Jennie, you have been quite busy of late,” the reporter continued, taking Lisa’s lead. “JK Designs has been doing better than ever. What do you think has been the secret to this season’s success?”

Jennie shrugged and said simply, “Kim Jisoo.” She turned to the side just in time to see Jisoo’s cheeks turn a bright shade of pink, and Lisa dramatically put a hand to her heart, pulling the reporters’ attention away from the actress.

“Kim Jennie, I’m hurt,” Lisa scoffed. “I wear your designs all the time.”

“You didn’t let me finish,” Jennie laughed. Lisa dropped her hand and waited expectantly, while Jisoo still stubbornly focused on the cameras in front of her. “Kim Jisoo… _and_ Lalisa Manoban, of course.”

“Of course,” the reporter chuckled. “Jisoo, is it true you’re singing on Rosé’s new album?”

Jisoo looked down at her feet, missing the way Jennie glanced at her in surprise. Jisoo had a beautiful voice, but Jennie had never heard her sing outside of the shower. “Only if the producers haven’t cut my parts out yet,” she said demurely, a shy smile causing the small dimples to emerge by her lips. She bowed slightly to the reporter. “I’m not a professional singer, so please be kind when it comes out.”

“She’s being modest,” Lisa chirped, a hand rubbing Jisoo’s back soothingly. “Rosé hasn’t been able to stop talking about getting Jisoo on her record for months. I think everyone will be very surprised at our little Jichu.”

Jennie had so many questions. She wanted to know when Jisoo decided to sing with Rosé. She wanted to know why Jisoo relied on Lisa to usher her through the press line. She wanted to know why Jisoo would barely even _look_ at her.

When the three girls sat in the second row of the show, Jennie took advantage of the relative protection from cameras to turn to her brand ambassador. “Jisoo, is something wrong?” she asked bluntly.

Behind Jisoo’s head, Jennie vaguely registered Lisa’s amused expression. The woman was enjoying watching the usually collected, cool Jennie Kim squirm far too much. Jisoo, thankfully, seemed not to notice. “What do you mean?”

Suddenly, the words left Jennie’s throat. Saying, _“It feels like you’re mad at me because you didn’t look at me enough just now,”_ felt petty and childish and desperate…and so she held back. She decided to switch gears instead. “You didn’t tell me you were singing on Chaeyoung’s album.”

Jisoo’s lips parted, her doe eyes wide and swirling with a myriad of incomprehensible emotions. “I haven’t told anyone,” she admitted after a moment. “Chaeyoung must have told people.”

Lisa nodded, shamelessly eavesdropping. “She tweeted a picture of you in the studio today.”

“That little…” Jisoo trailed off, no real heat in her voice. “I hope I didn’t make a fool of myself.”

Jennie reached to her left, grasping Jisoo’s knee. “I’ve heard you sing. You didn’t make a fool of yourself.”

The way Jisoo looked at her just then made Jennie think she was back in grad school, taking pictures of a young waitress on a stone wall in a park. A young waitress who was constantly surprised at how beautiful the whole world found her, inside and out. As if on cue, her brain flashed back to a different encounter earlier that same day, with a most disconcerted Sunmi. The memory was enough for Jennie to retract her hand quicker than lightning. _I need to stop_.

Jisoo noticed. “Are _you_ okay?”

Not trusting her voice, Jennie nodded and shifted so she was facing forward once again, pointedly ignoring Jisoo’s concerned glances and Lisa’s curious ones. The universe was on her side, for once, as the lights dimmed, preventing any further conversation in favor of the latest fashion show starting.

* * *

Jisoo seemed sad. Jennie couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but as they spent night after night together promoting JK Designs, she couldn’t help but notice the actress seemed subdued. Every time she’d check in on Jisoo right before stepping onto the red carpet with a quick squeeze of her arm and quiet question, Jisoo would just shake her head and smile, insisting she was fine.

 _Maybe she’s just tired_. Jennie made sure to step up and help her with the interviews as much as she could, knowing back-to-back events like these quickly drained Jisoo’s social battery. As such, for the next several nights, Jennie all but shepherded her spokeswoman through the red carpet press line as quickly as possible. The final night of Fashion Week arrived, and she stood next to Jisoo in a black minidress and blazer, looking at the raven-haired beauty in her strapless pearl-white number, huddled as close as possible to the space heater until it was time to face the cameras. Jennie couldn’t hold back the chuckle that rose to her lips.

Jisoo immediately shot Jennie with a mock glare. “I blame you for this,” she said as she brought her arms up to hug herself.

“For you looking hot?” Jennie shot back, a smirk on her face as she stepped closer to the other girl.

“Why do you never let me wear a jacket?” Jisoo danced in place, threatening to topple over in her white stilettos. “Even when we first met, you just let me suffer.”

Jennie didn’t know what came over her, maybe the reminder of the first time they went out together all that time ago, but she stepped even closer, her hands coming up to rub some warmth into Jisoo’s upper arms and her voice dropping low. “Who needs a jacket when we could just cuddle for warmth?”

The words slipped out of her mouth before she realized exactly what she was saying, but the way Jisoo’s face instantly reddened and her body stiffened made it impossible for Jennie to regret her question. Jisoo cleared her throat, her eyes wide as she searched for any words to say while Jennie innocently kept rubbing her arms, content to watch Jisoo’s cheeks darken even more as she did so.

“Jisoo and Jennie, you’re up next.” The manager’s clipped tone jolted the both of them out of the moment, prompting Jennie to remember just how close she’d gotten to the other woman and that they were very much in public. _What am I doing flirting with her anyway? She’s taken_.

As they prepared to go onto the red carpet, Jennie noticed Jisoo still shivering slightly, and she pitied the actress for having to wear such a revealing dress in almost freezing temperatures. Jennie quickly wrapped and arm around Jisoo’s shoulders, bringing her in to offer some of her body heat. “Is this okay?” she asked quietly, watching with fascination the way Jisoo’s chest seemed to rise and fall just a bit faster.

Wordlessly, Jisoo nodded, and the shivering subsided. The pair walked out onto the carpet like that, and right away cameras started flashing in a frenzy. Jennie felt her stomach drop at the thought of what these pictures would look like, knowing Jisoo must have already been dealing with so much with Sunmi after this week, if her awkward run-in with Jisoo’s girlfriend was any indication. She might just be making things harder for Jisoo, but she also couldn’t just let the poor girl shiver for the remainder of the red carpet.

“Jisoo, Jennie!” A reporter called over to them, and they walked in lockstep toward him. “Every night, you ladies look closer and closer.”

Jennie laughed, squeezing the actress against her side. “I’m her space heater on the red carpet, nothing more,” she said. “Fashion Week doesn’t care much about the cold weather, but it wouldn’t do for my spokesperson to be an icicle by the end of it.”

“I keep begging Jennie to dress me in blazers, but the woman refuses,” Jisoo chimed in with a poke to Jennie’s side.

“Oh, alright, since it’s the last night,” Jennie ceded, stepping back so she could shrug out of her velvet blazer and place it over Jisoo’s shoulders. “Better?”

The relieved smile that bloomed on Jisoo’s face was maybe one of the cutest things Jennie had seen all week, especially when Jisoo wiggled in excitement as she slipped her arms through the sleeves. “So much better. Now I can actually focus on promoting your brand again,” she teased with a wink to the reporter.

The black blazer actually served as the perfect contrast to the pure white dress Jisoo wore, and Jennie tugged her own long sleeves of her dress down over her hands to contain the warmth that tried to escape. Looking at Jisoo wearing her jacket, however, made a whole different kind of warmth rise up inside her, reminding her of when they practically lived in each other’s clothes.

Jennie consciously kept a respectful distance from Jisoo for the remainder of the press line, knowing if rumors hadn’t already sprouted about them this week, the first few pictures from tonight would have made sure of that. They’d been playing with fire all week, and as much as Jennie had wanted to drag Jisoo out of Lisa’s arms that second night, now Jennie was grateful she’d been there. She kept her hands clasped together in front of her, trying to ignore the cold attempting to sink past the thin, sparkly fabric of her dress. Regardless of the sheer amount she’d teased Jisoo these last few nights about her inability to handle the cold, Jennie was about two seconds from jogging in place right there on the red carpet, embarrassing pictures be damned.

Luckily, Jisoo found her hand before Jennie had the chance to, tugging the designer with her into the warmth of the showroom. The cold must have frozen Jennie’s brain, because she hadn’t even realized Jisoo was finished with the interviews until her warm hand wrapped around her ice-like ones. “Earth to Jennie,” Jisoo giggled, poking the brunette’s cheek.

Reflexively, Jennie pouted, making her cheeks puff out even more until Jisoo couldn’t resist and pinched them. “Now I’m the icicle. I hope you’re happy.” She tried to tamp down the heat in her face at Jisoo’s familiarity. No one seemed to have the same obsession with Jennie’s cheeks the way Jisoo used to, and Jisoo so easily invading her space again threatened to make her heart pound out of her chest.

“Ah, to be the warm one for once.” Jisoo grinned easily, the lingering flicker of sadness that had been in her eyes this past week nowhere to be found. Her eyes disappeared into crescents as she wrapped Jennie’s blazer even tighter around herself, twisting from side to side in a little solo happy dance. _What a dork_ , Jennie thought, wishing she could have taken a picture of Jisoo right then. “The velvet is so soft,” Jisoo observed, stroking one of her sleeves.

“You’re going to have to resist petting yourself for the rest of the night, Chu,” Jennie said, not noticing her slip of the tongue as she took hold of the loose sleeve to guide Jisoo to their seats. When they sat, Jennie turned back to see a red-faced Jisoo, who was doing her best to look anywhere but at her. “What?”

“Nothing!” Jisoo squeaked, and she shifted all her attention to memorizing the program she’d picked up from her seat.

A flustered Jisoo was too much for Jennie to resist, and Jennie blamed the glass of champagne she’d had in the press lounge before Jisoo arrived for her complete lack of inhibition tonight. She leaned in to whisper in Jisoo’s ear, her voice low and breathy. “Kim Jisoo, did you just have a dirty thought?”

The slight hitch in Jisoo’s breath made Jennie want to push more, knowing she was on the right track, but she noticed a few people had started watching them. It was like a bucket of ice water had been poured over Jennie, and she cursed herself and straightened. She needed to get a grip before she got the both of them in trouble. _Sunmi. Sunmi. Sunmi._

Jennie shifted her gaze forward and schooled her face to stillness. She was suddenly very thankful this was the last night of Fashion Week—clearly, all her restraint and common sense was almost completely used up.

* * *

“Congratulations, Kim Jisoo, on successfully making it through your first Fashion Week!”

Jisoo smiled and clinked her glass with a cheerful Jennie, pleasantly surprised when Lisa and Rosé appeared seemingly out of thin air to join in on the toast at the afterparty. After everyone had taken a swig of their drinks in Jisoo’s honor, the actress dragged Lisa and Rosé into tight hugs. “I didn’t see you at the show.”

“We snuck in last minute, just at the tail end of the red carpet,” Rosé explained. She brushed a hand through her intentionally messy blonde curls. “Lalisa over here sprung this on me all of an hour beforehand.”

“That _is_ her M.O.,” Jennie said dryly.

“Aish, all my friends are ungrateful.” Lisa held a hand up to her forehead, feigning a headache. “I try to bring some culture into their lives, and what do I get in return?”

Jisoo chuckled and held out a hand to the model. “I’m grateful, Lisa, don’t worry.”

“Jisoo unnie is the only one who truly loves me.” Lisa wiped away an imaginary tear before dodging Rosé’s sudden punch to her arm. “Yah! Chaeyoung!”

“You are ridiculous,” Rosé insisted, ceasing her assault to sip her drink. “How I have dealt with your dramatic ass for all these years, I have no idea.”

“Aw, you love me, Chaeyoungie, that’s why,” the Thai girl cooed, leaning in to try to kiss Rosé on the cheek, much to the singer’s chagrin.

“Yah, Lalisa, you’re not even drunk yet. Keep it in your pants,” Rosé chided. She slid out of Lisa’s reach and instead offered Lisa her drink. “Drink this and cool your jets.”

Pouting, Lisa wrapped her lips around the striped straw of Rosé’s drink and offered the blonde her drink in trade. Jisoo watched amusedly as they both sipped from each other’s glasses, holding the beverages up for the other to sample from instead of just giving each other the drinks. “Was this how you resolved all your fights when you lived together?” she asked around her own straw.

Lisa blinked at Rosé and then at Jisoo. “Were we fighting?”

“That’s a nice jacket, Jisoo,” Rosé interjected, changing the subject.

Jisoo looked down at the oversized blazer she was still wearing, getting another whiff of Chanel No. 5 as she did so. “Thanks, I stole it from Jennie because she was trying to kill me.”

Jennie’s cat-eyes narrowed as she twirled the brown liquid around in her glass and sent the big ice cubes inside clinking against each other. “Excuse me, I gave it to you precisely so you _wouldn’t_ die. I was being downright chivalrous.”

“It’s a cute look, though,” Lisa said, smirking at the two of them as if she was privy to some hilarious inside joke. “Looks like you even planned it.”

Rosé looked up at her friend, hearing the insinuation as clearly as Jisoo had. “You two do look like the perfect red-carpet couple,” she observed, her tone suspicious.

Burying her face in her drink to avoid the inquisitive eyes of her friends, Jisoo chanced a look to her left to see Jennie’s cheeks turn pink. “I believe Jinyoung has the privilege of that role, actually,” she said calmly before she, too, took a generous gulp of her scotch.

“Right,” Rosé said slowly, quirking an eyebrow. “Jinyoung.”

“Anyway,” Jisoo cleared her throat. “Do you think there’s going to be dancing at this thing?”

It was the perfect segue, because in two seconds flat Lisa and Rosé had finished their drinks and left to find the DJ. Glancing to her side, she saw a stone-faced Jennie finish off her own drink as well. “Sorry, I kind of froze there,” Jisoo said quietly.

“You don’t have to apologize,” Jennie answered at the same volume. “Do you think you’ll ever tell them about you and Jinyoung?”

Jisoo sighed, fiddling with the napkin on their table. “I know they’d be fine with it, but I don’t think I can tell them without Jinyoung also knowing. It’s his truth to tell, too, as much as it is mine.”

“That makes sense.” Jennie gave her empty glass to a passing waiter, accepting the flute of champagne he offered in return.

Tilting her head to the side, Jisoo observed her companion in silence, noticing the beginnings of the flush to her cheeks. “Is everything okay, Jennie?”

“Never better,” Jennie said, a forced smile coming to her face.

Jisoo didn’t believe her for a second. She placed her wine on the table so she could dig into her clutch, taking out a colorful piece of construction paper. She watched Jennie’s eyes widen at the Brutal Honesty coupon currently being held in front of her face. “What’s bothering you?”

“Have you been carrying that with you all week?”

“Yes, and now you need to answer me honestly.” Jisoo punctuated the last word with a small wave of the paper.

Slowly, Jennie reached up and accepted the coupon, staring at it like it held the secrets of the universe. “It’s been really nice spending this week with you,” she said finally.

“And that’s bothering you? Why?”

“Because I’m not supposed to be like this with you anymore.” Jennie shook her head, closing her eyes as she tried to figure out the right words. “You’re with Sunmi, and I want us to be friends. Not more.”

 _Not more_. The statement hit Jisoo like a punch to the gut so intensely she forgot to correct the brunette about her current relationship status. She tried to keep her voice level as she brought her wine glass to her lips. “We are friends.”

“We haven’t been acting like friends, and I know that’s my fault. It’s gotten harder for me to control myself,” Jennie said, almost growling at herself. “Maybe giving you that coupon book was a mistake. Maybe we should have just stayed talking about current events instead of bringing up our past.”

Unconsciously, Jisoo hugged her purse containing the homemade booklet to her stomach. “I don’t think it was a mistake.” She hated where this conversation was going. She hated hearing Jennie insisting they shouldn’t be anything real to each other. “I think it was a very thoughtful way for us to talk about things so we could move forward.”

“Yes, move forward. Separately. As in you with Sunmi,” Jennie insisted. “I didn’t mean for it to cause trouble with you two.”

“How do you know it caused trouble?” Jisoo asked, unwittingly confirming Jennie’s fears.

Remorse was painted all over Jennie’s face. “I ran into her earlier this week, and it was…weird.”

“Oh.”

“I promised myself I wasn’t going to interfere with you moving on.”

“So now you’re saying you regret being friends with me because you think it would wreck my future with someone else?” Jisoo tried to keep the pain out of her voice. Jennie didn’t answer, opting instead to take another sip of her champagne. “You don’t get to decide what’s good for me, Jennie.” She slipped the colorful paper out of Jennie’s grip and smoothed it on the high-top table. “I packed everything about you away in a little box in my mind, everything that hurt I just shoved it back into that corner. But I wasn’t able to feel good things either, not until you started making sense of everything that happened.” Jennie remained silent, but her dark eyes followed Jisoo’s every movement. “Having you back in my life has been nothing but a good thing.”

“I’ll always complicate things for you if I’m around,” Jennie murmured.

Jisoo wanted to know _why_. Jennie was still holding something back, something Jisoo hoped with every fiber of her being was what she herself no longer could deny. She handed the coupon back to the designer. “Why would just being friends be complicated?”

Jennie bit her bottom lip, seeming to take courage from another sip of champagne before she even dared answer. “Because I got really upset when I saw the pictures of you and Sunmi at that restaurant opening. I got so upset I was in bed for a week,” she said bluntly. “Insanely upset, and Lisa helped me realize I had no right to be. I was being selfish, hoping you’d wait for me while I was literally planning my wedding. I’d complicate things because I’ll always be jealous of whoever gets to love you.”

Jisoo’s head spun. There were far too many important revelations packed into those few sentences, far more than she’d expected from that tiny coupon. “You…you told Lisa about us?” _You were that upset about Sunmi and me?_

_You wanted me to wait for you?_

Jennie nodded, but Jisoo could tell that wasn’t what the brunette had expected her to focus on. “She won’t say anything,” she reassured.

_You wanted me to wait for you._

“You…” Jisoo couldn’t give voice to the phrase circling around and around in her head. It felt too big. It was both everything she’d wanted to hear and the worst news she could have gotten.

_You wanted me to wait for you._

_And I didn’t_.

Shame rose so quickly in Jisoo’s throat, she almost choked. “You—” She still couldn’t find the words.

Jennie flinched, her dark brown eyes wide as she misinterpreted Jisoo’s inability to speak for anger for outing her to someone without her permission. “I’m sorry, I promise, Lisa hasn’t told a soul.”

She hated seeing Jennie look at her like that, like a wet kitten that’s just been tossed out in the rain. “I don’t care that Lisa knows,” she exhaled, not knowing what else to say. Jisoo squeezed her eyes shut, feeling her hands gather into fists against the edge of the table, trying to force down the guilt that threatened to overwhelm her. _I should have just waited for her. Why didn’t I just wait for her? Instead, I hurt Sunmi while I tried to figure my own feelings out._

“I…I did it again, didn’t I?” Jisoo opened her eyes to see a forlorn Jennie push away her champagne. “I wanted you to be able to trust me again, with those coupons. But I still hurt you.” Jennie pushed away from the table, leaving her purse in her rush. “I shouldn’t have told you that—it’s not fair to put you in that position when you’re with someone else. All I do is hurt you and complicate your life, and you deserve better than that. I’m sorry.”

She’d left the table and the venue before Jisoo had a chance to stop her. The actress stayed rooted to the spot, staring at the empty space in front of her, her heart pounding in her ears.

They’d just had a fantastic week together. So how had they gotten here?

Anger bubbled up her throat. She…she couldn’t just _leave_. Not again. She didn’t get to just give up again.

Before she could think twice about what she was doing, Jisoo was outside the party, powerwalking toward the small figure ambling morosely down the street. Catching up to her, Jisoo grabbed hold of Jennie’s elbow and tugged her down a nearby alley. She waited until they’d gone far enough in that no one would be able to see them from the sidewalk before she let go of Jennie’s arm and rounded on her.

“You don’t get to leave again,” she said in a rush, her labored breaths fogging in front of her mouth.

“I—I don’t want to get in your way.” Jennie’s eyes were still too wide. “I wanted to fix things so we could still be friends, but I made everything worse.” She hugged herself to ward off the cold, fighting to keep her voice steady.

“So?” Jisoo demanded, stepping forward as Jennie stepped back. “That doesn’t mean you get to just _decide_ for the both of us that I’m better off without you. _God,_ Jennie, I _just_ got finished telling you that.” She looked to the sky, feeling herself get out of control, wishing for some semblance of sanity to fall out of the dark clouds overhead. “I deserve to have a say in the matter.”

“But…you and Sunmi.” Jennie’s voice had gotten higher, and she took another step back.

Jisoo forced herself to take a deep breath, then another. She needed to calm down before she did something stupid. “You wanted me to wait for you.”

“What?”

Jisoo’s eyes bored into Jennie’s, needing to see confirmation in them. “You said you wanted me to wait for you.”

“I…I shouldn’t have said that,” Jennie whispered.

“Jennie.” Jisoo’s voice grew serious. She finally reached out to hold the other woman by her arms. “Did you or did you not want me to wait for you?”

Tears started trailing down Jennie’s cheeks. “I can’t answer that.”

Jisoo felt her whole body start to shake. “Why not?”

“Because you have Sunmi now,” Jennie said simply, her voice steady despite the dampness on her face. Why did she have to keep reminding Jisoo of her? She stepped forward onto her tiptoes and pressed a soft kiss to Jisoo’s temple. “I’m not leaving, okay? I’m just stepping aside. I’m still your friend if you want me to be.”

She left Jisoo alone in the alleyway, who, once again, couldn’t help but stare at the empty space Jennie used to occupy.

_Why are you always so ready to sacrifice your own happiness?_

Almost too late, Jisoo snapped out of her daze and hastened to catch Jennie before she could leave the alley completely, her hand encircling the younger’s wrist. “Sunmi and I broke up a few days ago.”

Jennie stiffened in her grasp, but she didn’t turn back to face Jisoo. “Why?”

“Because I told her about you.” Jisoo’s words were low enough to hopefully mask the slight tremble in her voice. She tugged on Jennie’s wrist to make the designer face her. “Now, I left my coupon book inside, but I’m redeeming my last one now. Did you or did you not want me to wait for you?”

Jennie’s eyes shifted back and forth, darting all over Jisoo’s face as she worried her bottom lip. Jisoo thought she was going to have to ask again, but suddenly all the fight seemed to leave the other woman. Jennie dropped her eyes to Jisoo’s hand on her wrist and whispered her answer so softly a passing car would have drowned her out. “More than anything.”

Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was the cold. Maybe it was the months of fooling herself. Maybe it was all of the above. But as soon as the words left Jennie’s mouth, Jisoo stepped in, pressing the designer against the icy brick wall and crashed her lips over Jennie’s. Immediately, Jennie’s hands came up to her face, bringing her even closer as she drank in Jisoo’s kisses eagerly. The frigid air forgotten as Jisoo’s body burned with a white-hot intensity, the actress cushioned Jennie’s head with her hand while she pushed her even further into the wall, feeling every single curve of the younger woman against her. Every touch, every brush of Jennie’s small hands on her face, her neck, her waist, made Jisoo feel out of control. When Jisoo tilted her head to the side to deepen the kiss, the faint moan that escaped Jennie’s throat made the actress desperate for more of those sounds. 

It was only when Jisoo’s lungs screamed for air that she reluctantly separated her lips from Jennie’s, leaning her forehead on the cool brick beside Jennie’s head. She felt as much as heard the brunette’s attempts to catch her breath, the puffs of heated air hitting her cheek in time with the feeling of Jennie’s chest heaving against her own. Jisoo should have disentangled herself from Jennie so they could breathe better, but, as she stood struggling to get oxygen to her brain with one palm pressed against the brick wall and one holding a fistful of fabric at the other woman’s waist, she decided she could go without air for a little bit longer. Finally, she leaned her cheek against Jennie’s, exhaling at the softness of her skin.

“Don’t leave.”

She felt Jennie’s fingers curl into her back, all but crushing Jisoo against her. “Never again.”

The words were enough to make Jisoo bury her face in the other woman’s neck, trying to fight against the tears that pricked the back of her eyes at how much hugging Jennie felt like coming home.

She had no idea how long she stood in that alleyway, curled around Jennie as if her life depended on it. At some point, Jennie started swaying them both from side to side, her hands stroking her back the way she used to. The fallen snow crunched beneath their heels, slowly but surely rendering their toes numb. “I think we’d better go inside before we lose a foot,” Jennie said tentatively, as hesitant as Jisoo was to break their sacred silence.

Jisoo at last untangled herself, meeting Jennie’s eyes for the first time since she’d pushed her up against the wall. She was surprised to see mascara-tinged tear trails streaking down the brunette’s round cheeks, and without another thought she rubbed them away as gently as she could. Jennie let out a watery laugh as she did the same for Jisoo. “I _wanted_ to wait for you,” Jisoo felt compelled to say. “I didn’t want to give up on you.”

Nodding in understanding, Jennie continued to wipe away the smudged makeup on Jisoo’s face. “I was engaged and actively planning my wedding,” she responded, meeting Jisoo’s eyes with a gaze so tender it made the air catch in Jisoo’s throat. “You couldn’t have known.”

“Why couldn’t you just tell me?” Jisoo’s feet felt like they were about to fall off, but she still stayed rooted to the spot, her hand resting on Jennie’s, which kept stroking a thumb across her face despite the tearstains being long gone. “You told me everything else.”

“Because by the time I got my head out of my ass, you’d already met Sunmi,” Jennie explained patiently, turning her hand in Jisoo’s grip to intertwine their fingers. “I’d already hurt you so much…I wanted you to be happy.”

Jisoo leaned in for another kiss, softer this time but no less earnest. “You’re an idiot,” she said against Jennie’s lips. “I’m happy with _you_.”

The smile that bloomed on Jennie’s face at Jisoo’s statement could have lit up the entire street. They both clearly wanted to say more. Jisoo’s heart felt like it was going to burst right out of her chest, and Jennie clutched Jisoo’s hand so tightly the elder wondered if she would have any sensation left in it by the time they finally went inside. But they’d already absconded from the party for long enough. Soon, people would come looking for them.

So they dropped their hands, carefully picking their way over the icy concrete, out of the alley and back toward the party venue. They kept a cautious distance between themselves, but neither could contain their elated grins as they quietly re-entered the party. Jisoo quickly found her bag and checked the time on her phone, counting the minutes until she could leave and take a certain designer home with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AH WE MADE IT TO THE JUICY STUFF FINALLY. Literally have had some portion of that confrontation scene written since somewhere around chapter SIX. I have so many specific thoughts about the various parts of this chapter that I feel like I've been staring at it too long, so please let me know your thoughts so I can stop obsessing over my own. (also no it's not over, promise)


	13. Afterglow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiii! I promise I didn't disappear, just was working nights for the last two weeks which definitely does not make for a good writing mood. But we're back! 
> 
> Heads up, officially making this fic M rated bc of this chapter. I debated long and hard about how much I wanted to show in this, because I have been fairly oblique about things until this point. This is by no means explicit, but these are two adult women who are reconciling for the first time in years, and I felt it was important to show the intensity of that not only emotionally but physically. It's a release and a relief for them, so I (respectfully) needed to include some more mature aspects of their relationship in there. 
> 
> Enjoy this tooth-rottingly fluffy lil breather of a chapter 😘.

“Jendeukie, Jendeukie, Jendeukie.”

Laughing, Jennie turned her head to see a sparkling smile on Jisoo’s face. “What, Chu?”

“Nothing, just making up for all the times I wanted to call you Jendeukie this week.” Jisoo scooted closer in the bed, burying her nose in Jennie’s cheek. “You were being such a Jendeukie.”

If they weren’t already laying down, Jennie might have passed out from how good it felt to see Jisoo like this again, to feel Jisoo’s heartbeat pounding out a rhythm against her arm while she held her close, to hear that nickname slip past her lips after so many years. “Says the girl who’s trying to climb on top of me right now.”

Jisoo threw her leg on top of Jennie’s, her thigh sliding dangerously high against the brunette’s, and she peppered Jennie’s cheek and jawline with small kisses. “Can you blame me?” she asked, her husky voice sending shivers down Jennie’s spine, especially when she felt Jisoo’s hand find its way under her t-shirt. “My Mandu is so delicious I just want to eat her up.” She punctuated her sinful words with a nip of Jennie’s ear that ushered waves of heat rushing throughout her body.

Unable to suppress the groan that slipped out, Jennie turned her red face to capture Jisoo’s wandering lips with her own. “You keep saying things like that, and we’re never leaving this bed.”

“Good.”

Jennie let herself get pulled into a deeper kiss, rolling on top of the other woman, reveling in the feeling of Jisoo’s hands exploring her back underneath her baggy shirt. “I have to go feed Kuma and Kai,” she said eventually, trying not to pant.

Jisoo pouted immediately, and her hands slid down to hold Jennie flush against her by the waist, her slender fingers digging entirely too pleasantly into Jennie’s flesh. “But I don’t want you to leave.”

“You could come with me, you know,” Jennie pointed out. She leaned down and dragged her lips down Jisoo’s neck, dropping a few tender kisses to the dip between her clavicles. “We can let them out and then continue all of this at my place.”

She felt more than heard the pleased hum from the woman beneath her, looking up to see Jisoo’s eyes had closed, her bottom lip between her teeth. _God, she’s going to be the death of me_ , Jennie thought, mustering every last ounce of restraint in her body to peel herself away from the siren that was her newly reinstated girlfriend. Jisoo’s eyes opened instantly when Jennie’s weight suddenly went missing, her brow furrowed as she whined, “Why did you stop?”

“Because,” Jennie chuckled, dodging Jisoo’s grabby hands trying to pull her back into the bed, “I really need to let out my dogs before they burst.” She wandered into Jisoo’s closet, taking her pick of the clothing there so she wouldn’t be caught doing the walk of shame in last night’s dress. “If you come with me, I’ll buy you some chicken skewers.”

She didn’t hear Jisoo’s footfalls behind her, so she had no warning when she was grabbed by her waist and turned around for a searing kiss that left her head spinning. “One for the road,” Jisoo breathed against her lips as they separated. “Since not being able to touch you in public is going to be one step shy of torture.”

Jennie knew she had the dopiest grin on her face right then, but she couldn’t contain herself. She leaned in and stole another kiss, her hands tangling themselves in Jisoo’s hair and keeping her head in place. “How the hell did I get so lucky?”

“Buy me chicken skewers, and you’ll get even luckier.” Jisoo wiggled her eyebrows suggestively at her, and Jennie burst out laughing. Nothing made Jennie happier in that moment than the sight of Jisoo, unreserved and vibrant and animated in a way she hadn’t seen since they re-entered each other’s lives. She tucked her chin onto Jisoo’s shoulder, feeling the actress return the embrace instantly.

“I’m so happy right now,” Jennie whispered.

“Me, too, Jendeukie.”

* * *

It was like a dam had burst within Jisoo, the way she suddenly needed to be close to Jennie all the time. She delayed them going to Jennie’s apartment by an hour by surprising the younger girl with heady kisses at every opportunity that arose. While Jisoo drove them to Jennie’s apartment, she kept one hand firmly entwined with Jennie’s, unable to ward off the fluttering in her chest when she felt soft fingers stroking the back of her hand. Every aspect of her being seemed finely attuned to the slightest of touches from the brunette seated next to her, waking up a body that felt like it had been hibernating for years.

When they reached Jennie’s apartment, Kuma and Kai came running up to greet them. Jisoo immediately bent down to pet their fluffy heads, laughing when she saw the Pomeranian’s eyes close in contentment. Kai was more reserved, but he still insistently burrowed his head into her hands. “Hi, babies,” Jisoo cooed, feeling Jennie’s fond gaze on her. “I’m Jisoo.”

Kai licked the inside of her wrist in response, while Kuma barked happily. “You both better get used to seeing Jisoo around,” Jennie said casually while she pulled the leashes off her coat hooks by the door. She turned back to face Jisoo, and the actress accepted the leashes from her, her heart warmed by the soft smile on Jennie’s face. “She’s going to be here a lot.”

Jisoo fixed the leashes onto the two dogs’ collars and rose, instantly tugging the younger woman closer to her and kissing her. “Your dogs are going to get so sick of me,” she muttered against her lips.

“Impossible.” Jennie’s hands pulled her in by her waist, stealing another few kisses before abruptly stepping away.

“You okay?” Jisoo asked, an eyebrow quirked in amusement at the way Jennie seemingly had to tear herself away from her.

Jennie huffed and reached for two masks from her side table, offering one to Jisoo. “No. It’s damn hard to stop kissing you.”

Pouting, Jisoo put on the mask and followed the brunette out of the apartment, Kuma and Kai in tow. “Who said you had to stop?” she asked sullenly.

As they stood in the elevator, Jennie’s chocolate brown eyes glittered at her as she reached over and pulled Jisoo’s hand into her pocket, interlacing their fingers. “I never want to stop,” she promised. “I can’t wait until one day I can kiss you out in the open again.”

It was the first time Jisoo regretted her career choice, the sacrifices she had to make to become an actress. With Sunmi, she hadn’t minded keeping things private. She’d enjoyed her touch, but she hadn’t felt that all-consuming craving for it the way she did about Jennie. When the elevator opened, Jisoo reluctantly retracted her hand from Jennie’s pocket and walked out of the lobby with the other woman at a respectable distance from each other. Her hand seemed to ache without Jennie’s fingers wrapped around it. “Do you think people will understand?”

The pair paused by a tree on the sidewalk while Kuma and Kai relieved themselves, and Jennie looked at Jisoo. “I think when we’re ready, yeah, the people who matter will understand.”

“It was never really hard for me before,” Jisoo admitted. “Hiding myself, I mean. I was focused on work, and I told myself I needed to be more established first.” They started walking around the block once the dogs finished their business, and Jisoo’s hand started aching again. All she wanted was to put her hand back in Jennie’s pocket. “But I didn’t factor _you_ into that calculation.”

Even with the mask on, Jisoo could see the top of Jennie’s cheeks reddening, her eyes becoming slits as she clearly couldn’t suppress the pleased smile that came from Jisoo’s words. “I think Korea is different now than even four years ago, and Snowdrop made you a household name. Judging from the annoyingly excited comments on every picture and article that showed up of you and Sunmi, your fans will more than accept you for who you are, and casting directors won’t be able to overlook you because of them, even if they are still conservative old kooks.”

Jisoo felt her own lips curl upward at the obvious jealousy in Jennie’s voice when she mentioned Sunmi. “Were you stalking my relationship, Jennie Kim?”

“I was being _supportive_ by keeping an eye on the media reaction to Sunmi being truly awful at hiding how into you she was,” Jennie insisted, avoiding Jisoo’s gaze.

A pang of guilt wiped the smile off Jisoo’s face at the reminder of how much she’d hurt the older actress. “She really was,” she said softly, looking down at the sidewalk as they turned a corner. “I hurt her because I couldn’t feel the same way, but I kept hoping eventually I would.” She looked to her right, Jennie’s profile enough to soothe the anxiety in her chest. “It took me a while to realize it was because I was still in love with you.”

Jennie’s delighted gaze met hers. “I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of hearing you say that.”

Laughter burst out of the actress, feeling the knot in her chest loosen completely. “I love you, my dorky Jendeukie.” She risked a poke to the cheek hiding behind Jennie’s black mask.

Jennie glowed, like a ray of sun broke out from the gray skies overhead just to illuminate her. She chanced a look around them before taking Jisoo’s elbow and tugging her into an alley, Kuma and Kai trailing along behind them. Jisoo shook her head in disbelief, finding herself in an alley with Jennie for the second time in as many days. Jennie brought down both of their masks and cupped Jisoo’s face, planting a sweet kiss on her lips. “I love you, too, Jichu.”

It was maybe silly, feeling so giddy at hearing those words from Jennie’s mouth when years ago she heard them all the time. But Jisoo’s entire body felt filled to the brim with butterflies, like it was the first time they’d said those words to each other all over again. She didn’t care that it was daylight, and they weren’t very well hidden. She grinned at Jennie and snuck another, much more insistent kiss, her hands pulling on Jennie’s jacket pockets to bring her closer. When they parted, she whispered, “Do you think Kuma and Kai have exercised enough for the day?”

“Hell yeah.”

Masks back on, the pair quickly left the alley and hustled back to Jennie’s building. Jisoo had only just unhooked the leashes when Jennie pushed her up against the closed door of her apartment, slanting her lips over Jisoo’s. Leashes tumbled out of Jisoo’s hand, forgotten in favor of burying it in Jennie’s hair. She heard the faint yips of the two puppies at her heels, but she was too focused on pushing the bulky jacket off of Jennie’s shoulders. Jennie didn’t seem to pay them any mind either, curling her tongue deliciously against the roof of Jisoo’s mouth as the parka dropped to the floor.

It was frenzied, frantic, and oh, so devilishly perfect, the way Jennie’s hands and lips sent Jisoo spiraling higher and higher. She was balanced on her tiptoes, squirming against the door as Jennie’s determined fingers made her see stars. Jisoo couldn’t think straight, couldn’t even reach for Jennie as she just tried to hold on for dear life to whatever could keep her grounded. Jennie’s lips smirked against her now sweaty neck, and with a particularly hard thrust, sent Jisoo over the edge, where she was almost sure she’d momentarily died and seen the gates of Heaven.

If it weren’t for Jennie holding her up against the door, Jisoo was sure her watery muscles would have given out and she’d have been in a crumpled pile on the floor. She couldn’t help the small whine that escaped her lips when she felt Jennie’s fingers leaving her warmth. “Did…” she started as she gulped in breath after breath of the air she’d forgotten she needed in the last several minutes, “did you just do that to me in front of your dogs?”

“I didn’t hear you complaining,” Jennie said smugly, casually cleaning her hand off with her tongue, her dark eyes never leaving Jisoo’s. “And they get bored the instant you don’t pay attention to them and go do their own thing, so I don’t think they got an eyeful. An _ear_ ful maybe.”

Jisoo felt her face grow beet red. “Do you think your neighbors heard?”

Jennie placed a soft peck on one of Jisoo’s warm cheeks. “Part of me wishes they did, so they’d know I had the most beautiful woman in Korea screaming my name.” Jisoo shuddered, her face growing even hotter. “But no, these apartments are intentionally well insulated from outside noise.”

“Thank God,” Jisoo sighed, her damp forehead falling on Jennie’s shoulder. From this angle she could see how disheveled she was. She tugged her shirt back down and tried to zip her pants back up when Jennie’s hand stilled her motions.

“What are you doing that for?”

“What? I’m not going to walk around your apartment with my pants undone.”

Jennie rolled her eyes and used the grip she hand on Jisoo’s hand to pull her further into the apartment. “The solution is not to get _more_ dressed, Kim Jisoo,” she all but growled as she led them toward her bedroom. “We have a lot of time to make up for before you start shooting tomorrow.”

* * *

When Jennie looked beside her at Jisoo, tousled hair tumbling over an oversized t-shirt while she munched on a chicken skewer happily in bed, she could have believed it was still four years ago. The peaceful normalcy of having Jisoo there with her again made Jennie feel more relaxed than she had in years.

“Why are you staring, you weirdo?” Jisoo asked, a faint blush dusting her cheeks.

Jennie felt her own face heat up at being caught, even if Jisoo _was_ her girlfriend once again. “You’re the cutest, all excited about your chicken,” she said. Some small part of her screamed at her for being so cheesy, but the way Jisoo’s blush intensified silenced that part of her instantly. Jennie couldn’t help herself, reaching for the older girl’s waist and burying her face in Jisoo’s neck. “Aish, why are you so cute?”

“Jendeukie,” Jisoo whined, but she didn’t try to shake her off. “I’m eating chicken skewers in bed because I’m too lazy to make it to the table. I’m not cute.”

Jennie shook her head into Jisoo’s skin. “I get to be the judge of that, and I judge thee cute.”

She felt Jisoo’s free hand come up around her back and pull her in closer while the latter kept eating her snack, occasionally offering Jennie a bite. “I missed this,” Jisoo finally said as she put down the empty skewer in the box on the nightstand.

“I missed you,” Jennie responded simply, placing a soft kiss on Jisoo’s pulse point. “Can we never break up again?”

A dry laugh left Jisoo, and she softened her words with a poke to Jennie’s cheek. “I didn’t want to break up in the first place, Mandu.”

Jennie raised her head off Jisoo’s should so she could look her directly in the eye, seeing no anger or lingering resentment in her face, but Jennie couldn’t stem the guilt that twisted in her stomach. “Have I mentioned lately how sorry I am that I hurt you like that?”

“About a thousand times,” Jisoo smiled. She leaned in and captured Jennie’s lips in a soft, forgiving kiss, and Jennie’s eyes fluttered closed at the sensation. “You were trying to protect me,” she said between kisses. “You don’t have to keep apologizing.” Another kiss, which now Jennie started to return. “Just talk to me when things get scary.”

“I don’t deserve you.”

Jisoo interrupted their kisses to pull back and fix Jennie with a stern glare. “Don’t say that, Jennie. You deserve love, and I don’t think you’ll ever understand how unbelievably lucky I feel to get to be the person that loves you.”

Every word out of Jisoo’s mouth rang with conviction, and Jennie couldn’t look away from her intense gaze. “I think I do understand, because that’s how I feel about you.” She shifted forward and once again pressed her lips against Jisoo’s, pouring her whole heart into the kiss and feeling Jisoo do the same, her small hands grasping at the fabric of Jennie’s t-shirt. “Don’t let me screw this up again, please?” she whispered when they parted, resting her forehead against Jisoo’s.

“Never,” Jisoo promised. “You’re stuck with me, Jendeukie.”

“Wouldn’t that mean _you’re_ Jideukie?” Jennie teased.

Laughter bubbled out of Jisoo, and she started tickling Jennie, sending the brunette flying off to her side of the bed trying to avoid Jisoo’s evil fingers. “No, you’re my Jendeukie, and just because I like you sticking to me doesn’t make me the clingy one,” Jisoo said triumphantly, straddling Jennie, who lay breathless beneath her.

Jennie opened her eyes, seeing a beaming Jisoo hovering over her, her dark hair hanging down by her bare face. She’d never looked so beautiful as she did right then, and for the billionth time that day, Jennie thanked whoever was watching out for her up there for giving her a second chance with the stunning woman above her. Jennie held up her hands in surrender. “Fine, I’m still Jendeukie, and you’re still Jichu.”

Jisoo rewarded her with a peck on the lips before climbing off her and shuffling off the bed. She started making her way to the bathroom, tossing a casual, “I’m going to take a shower.”

She left the door open.

Jennie waited until she heard the water running before she followed. She could use a bath, as well.

* * *

Jisoo reluctantly pulled herself away from Jennie as she leaned against the front door, both of them not wanting to bring their blissful day to an end. “Are you sure you have to leave?” the designer whined, her grip tightening on Jisoo’s upper arms.

“I have to be on set so early tomorrow morning,” Jisoo sighed, wishing she could have stayed curled up on the couch with Jennie and watched yet another movie in her arms. “It wouldn’t be a great first impression for me to show up late to the first day of shooting of this series. I don’t want to get a reputation for being an entitled diva now that I have an award.”

“Anyone who talks to you for five seconds would know that’s not you,” Jennie said, peppering soft kisses on Jisoo’s jawline. “Where did you get that idea?”

“Something Sunmi mentioned a while ago,” Jisoo murmured. She felt Jennie’s kisses pause and opened her eyes to see such an intense pout on Jennie’s face that her cheeks puffed out even more than usual. Jisoo’s hand found their way up to one of those cheeks, pinching them lightly. She could never resist them. “What’s the matter?”

“You can’t talk about your ex-girlfriend when I’m kissing you, Jichu.”

Jisoo’s eyes crinkled in amusement, her thumb smoothing over the cheek she’d abused. “Noted. I’m sorry, Jendeukie.” Her lips ghosted over the skin of Jennie’s other cheek, pressing into the softness there and feeling the other woman loosen in her hold. “I should go.”

Jennie clearly wasn’t pleased, but she finally released Jisoo after the actress deposited three, four, five more kisses on her downturned lips. Jisoo couldn’t help the smile that broke out onto her face as she walked to her car after what she could only consider to be a perfect day spent rediscovering each other, marred only by the fact that it ended too quickly. She’d made it halfway home before her phone rang, the name _Jendeukie_ 💕 flashing on her car’s display.

“Hello?” Jisoo answered, laughter lacing her voice.

“I’m coming over,” Jennie declared.

Jisoo thankfully was at a red light, or she may have braked out of sheer surprise. “What? I just left you?”

“I don’t want to end today by sleeping alone in my apartment.” Jisoo could practically hear the brunette pouting. “You’re going to leave for work way before I have to be at mine, so I can come back before work and let out Kuma and Kai.”

“Your dogs are going to think you abandoned them if you keep leaving them alone overnight,” Jisoo chided softly. She heard Jennie pause, and Jisoo realized she may have unintentionally talked her out of her idea. “Just bring them with you, and your clothes for tomorrow so you don’t have to stop over at your place before work.”

“Day two of being back together, and we’re already planning to virtually live at each other’s places again,” Jennie chuckled over the phone. Jisoo could hear Kuma’s excited barking in the background as she imagined Jennie preparing his and Kai’s things.

“See you soon, love.” The term of endearment slipped off Jisoo’s tongue absentmindedly, but the quiet hum of approval from the other end of the line filled her up with warmth.

Not long after she’d gotten home, the sound of small paws running around on her wooden floors echoed through the usually silent house. Jennie wrapped her arms around Jisoo’s front, her chin resting on her shoulder as she hugged Jisoo from behind. “They seem happy here.”

“That makes four of us,” Jisoo said with a kiss to the cheek next to her face. She rubbed the arms resting on her stomach before taking hold of the younger’s wrist and leading her upstairs. “Come on, let’s get ready for bed.”

* * *

“Jennie Kim, you are _impossible_ to get a hold of,” Lisa’s voice made Jennie look up from her documents to see the model entering her office. “I tried to call you all day yesterday.”

“Oh, sorry, I took a little vacation from real life yesterday,” Jennie said, trying and failing to hide the smile that wanted to creep onto her face. She recalled this morning, when she got to wake up wrapped around Jisoo and kiss her shoulder, slowly coaxing her back into the land of the living so she would make it to her call time. Lisa cleared her throat, and Jennie’s eyes refocused on the woman in front of her. “Was it anything urgent?”

“No, I just wanted to talk to you about the launch of my YouTube channel, but forget about that for now. What’s with that look?” She walked closer and perched herself on the edge of Jennie’s desk, eyes searching the executive’s face for answers.

“What look?”

“You’re in a turtleneck for one,” Lisa commented wryly, “and you’re all…glowy and relaxed.”

Jennie shrugged, struggling to keep the blush from rising to her face as she adjusted her turtleneck. “It’s cold today, and I guess I slept well last night.”

Lisa’s eyes narrowed for a few tense seconds until she finally gasped and declared far too loudly, “You got laid!”

Frantically shushing the other woman, Jennie all but bounded out of her desk chair to close the door to her office. “Lisa! Keep it down!”

“Wow, you’re not denying it,” Lisa smirked. “It took me a second to recognize the signs since I don’t think I’ve _ever_ seen you like this in the two years I’ve known you, which makes more sense now that I know Kai was just for show.”

“Thanks for bringing up the formerly depressing state of my love life, Lalisa,” Jennie deadpanned, approaching the desk once again now that their privacy had been assured.

“Formerly!” Lisa looked like she was about to die of excitement, and she leaned closer to the brunette. “Please tell me it was Jisoo.”

Face afire, Jennie smiled into her lap and nodded. “It’s Jisoo.”

Lisa hooted in joy and quickly rounded the desk to gather up her best friend in a vice-like hug. “I’m so happy for you both!” She practically swung Jennie back and forth in her enthusiasm, and the shorter girl was too embarrassed to fight her off. “I’ve been wondering when you were going to make your move ever since she broke things off with Sunmi.”

Jennie pulled back in surprise. “You knew she broke up with Sunmi?” _I didn’t know until two days ago._

“I assumed she had. That night I joined you guys on the red carpet, she’d called me over to get ready together. She seemed like she needed cheering up. And then Sunmi posted some cryptic, artistic solo post on insta the next morning, so I figured the two were related.”

“Lalisa Manoban, Detective Extraordinaire,” Jennie mused before whacking the model on the arm softly. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”

“Aish, I thought you already knew!”

Jennie shook her head and sat back in her chair. “No, Jisoo didn’t tell me until the afterparty when I almost ended everything all over again,” she grumbled. “To think we could have gotten back together three days earlier.”

When Lisa didn’t answer, Jennie looked up to see her holding back her laughter. The brunette quirked an eyebrow at her, and Lisa finally let her giggles out. “You realize three days is like nothing in the grand scheme of things, right?”

“Shut up, I missed her a lot, okay?”

“Aw, you’re so cute and cuddly when you talk about Jisoo,” Lisa pointed out with a quick tap of Jennie’s puffed up cheeks, retracting her hand before the brunette could have a chance to bat her away.

“Do you want to keep teasing me or do you want to talk about your YouTube launch?” Jennie pushed Lisa out from behind the desk. “Shoo! My territory.”

“You’re about as scary as an angry kitten, you know.”

* * *

Kai’s customer service smile slid off his face the second the video conference call ended, and he leaned back in his chair, rubbing tiredly at his face. Coordinating calls between three different countries was a headache on a good day, but when technical difficulties were piled on top of that, it was enough to make Kai want to stop everything and take a nap.

“Mr. Kim?” His assistant’s hesitant voice made him drop his hands to glance at her standing in his doorway.

“What’s up, Ms. Son?”

She looked uneasy, twisting a knot into her cardigan. “There’s a reporter on the line, from Dispatch.”

 _Oh no, which client screwed up this time?_ “Regarding whom?”

If anything, his question seemed to only intensify her unease. “Um…regarding you and Ms. Kim Jennie, sir.”

Kai sat forward in his chair, his brow furrowing. They’d already released the announcement of his and Jennie’s engagement being called off last week, so what on earth was Dispatch calling him about? “Thank you, Ms. Son. I’ll take the call in here.”

She nodded and hastened back to her desk to patch the call through to his office phone. As soon as the little red light appeared, Kai picked up the phone and answered in his gruffest tone. “This is Kim Jongin.”

“Mr. Kim, so grateful you took my call,” an eager male voice responded. “My name is Park Yejun. I’m a reporter with Dispatch.” He said his title and company proudly, as if Dispatch was on par with the preeminent news sources in the country. _Must be young._

“Yes, so I’ve been told. What, may I ask, is the purpose of your call?”

“Ah, yes, sir, right to the point. We’ve received some…photos…of your now ex-fiancée, Jennie Kim, and we wanted to give you the opportunity to comment.”

“What sort of photos? I cannot comment if I do not see them.” _If I even deign to dignify this tabloid with a real answer, that is._ Kai had a sinking feeling whatever the photos were, his life was about to get much more complicated.

“Right, sir, of course. We received some photos over the weekend of Ms. Kim—um, sir, there’s no easy way to say this.”

“Try me.”

“I want to say, we’re still in the process of verifying the photos’ authenticity, but so far we are fairly sure they are real.”

“Mr. Park, was it?” Kai interrupted.

“Yes, sir.”

“What were in the damn photos?”

“Um, Ms. Kim and the actress Kim Jisoo, sir. They were photographed…kissing.”

The floor seemed to fall out from under Kai’s feet. He tamped down the part of him that was happy Jennie made up with the love of her life; he didn’t have time to focus on that right now, not when he would need every ounce of his PR expertise and pull to keep this from blowing up their lives. “When are you planning to run this story?”

“Day after tomorrow, sir, once we’ve fully authenticated the pictures.”

“Dispatch never struck me as taking their time to authenticate things before,” Kai said before he could stop himself.

Some of the eagerness left Yejun’s voice, as if he was finally letting himself register the seriousness of his allegation. “Well, sir, when it comes to things of this nature, Dispatch has been burned before for acting too quickly, and with the families involved…”

 _At least our parents are still good for something, even if they’re not quite talking to us much right now._ “I will not offer any comment until I myself have seen and authenticated the pictures for myself. Have them messengered to my office tonight, and I’ll talk to you tomorrow evening.”

“Really, sir?” Yejun sounded excited once again, not having expected to actually get anything but a _no comment_ from the PR executive.

“If you publish this before I have gotten the chance to independently verify these pictures, I don’t need to tell you what could happen to Dispatch and your career, personally, Mr. Park.” Kai made sure to add an extra note of darkness to his voice, unconsciously emulating his father during difficult business meetings.

“R-Right, sir,” Yejun chirped shakily. “I’ll have the pictures sent to you within the hour, and I’ll look forward to talking to you tomorrow night.”

“See that you do. Goodnight, Mr. Park.” He returned the phone to its cradle before the reporter had a chance to respond and immediately reached for his cell phone. _Jennie Kim, what the hell did you do?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was it too cheesy? I'm sorry, I couldn't resist. They needed their lil honeymoon! (and maybe I did, too) Let me know your thoughts! Your comments forever give me life and rereading them on bad days has genuinely been one of the few ways to make myself feel better when my anxiety gets to be too much.
> 
> (PS, sure hope the Jennie hate has died out, bc as much as I ship Jensoo enough to write a freakin 70k fic and counting about them, we all just want her to be happy and have her privacy respected no matter who she's dating.)


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